We have all seen the iconic Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson movie How to lose a guy in 10 days. Many of us have got it down to a science on how to love a guy in 10 dates but how can you win a guy. Kate Hudson’s character in the movie Andie begins an adventure with Matthew McConaughey’s character Ben and takes all mistake women make and drives to drive him away. (Common Sense Media) By the end of the movie, they realize they have more similarities than differences. This is an example of “Bird of a feather flock together” their similar interests and core values aligned enough to make their relationship long lasting.
Society has a saying opposite attract, yes this can be true but only for short term relationships. Similarities and common core values are key to a long-term relationship. (Gruman 2017) Opposites attract for a short period of time due to the interesting the other person and why they are so different but once that curiosity fades the conversation can not reach the next level of intimacy. Attraction between opposites is surface level they will never be able to reach deep conversation and connect on a different level. (Administrator 2016)
The laws of attractions known as the similar-to-me effect. This means the individual gets along with people that tend to look and think like they do. This is why many individuals love someone that has similar interests, jobs, race, religion, or hobbies. As a society we like the familiarity of having something in common with the person we are attracted to. (Lurtz, 1999). Studies have shown that people with similar Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator.
There are four types of attraction physical, aesthetic, intellectual, and emotional attractions. Attraction comes in many forms, and you do not have to all four of them to desire to be with an individual.(Editors 2022) These forms of attraction are very fluid and can change throughout the course of a relationship in the begin it may be physical or aesthetic but once you get to know the person on a deeper level you could be more attracted to on a deeper level.
References
Allport, A. (1985). The historical background of social psychology. In G. Lindzey & E. Aronson (Eds.). Handbook of social psychology (Vol. 1, 3rd ed., pp. 1-46). New York: Random House.
Bernard, G. (2003). Language use as social strategy: A review and an analytic framework for the social sciences. Review of General Psychology7(3). 251-298.
Luo, S., & Klohnen, E.C. (2005). Assortative Mating and Marital Quality in Newlyweds: A Couple-Centered Approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88(2), 304-326.
Lurtz, P.K. (1999). Partner similarity and relationship satisfaction among couples. Dissertation Abstracts International, 60, 4-A.
Gruman, J.A. Schneider, F.W. & Coutts, L.A. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage
How to lose a guy in 10 Days movie review. Common Sense Media. (n.d.). Retrieved December 5, 2022, from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/how-to-lose-a-guy-in-10-days
Administrator. (2016, January 25). Attraction – iresearchnet. Psychology. Retrieved December 5, 2022, from http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/prosocial-behavior/attraction/
Editors, B. (2022, February 28). 7 things to know about the psychology of attraction. Brides. Retrieved December 5, 2022, from https://www.brides.com/psychology-of-attraction-5105329
Great post! By the way, one of my favorite movies! I never really believed in the “opposites attract” saying. I feel that when you have a lot in common with a person it makes it easier to do things with them and just be around them in general. I think a relationship will work when the two people share the same values. I read an article that states, “Values are one area where opposites can be so different that the relationship may not work.” Sultanoff agrees, saying that differences based in central core values will not attract.” (Lusinski, 2022) This is important because when two people start to have children they’ll want to share their values with their children, so it’s important to be on the same page with certain things.
References :
Lusinski, N. (2022, February 15). Here’s when the old adage ‘opposites attract’ is *not* true. The Zoe Report. Retrieved December 8, 2022, from https://www.thezoereport.com/wellness/when-do-opposites-not-attract