Social media and attachment styles, two topics that often become the forefront of psychological conversations regarding the evolution of human communication and the different ways we interact and behave in relationships. Often, these topics are in separate conversations and evaluated on a mutually exclusive basis. But these two areas have a myriad of scientific articles examining the relationship between attachment styles and social media usage, together.

Attachment styles fall under four basic categories, secure attachment, dismissing-avoidant attachment, preoccupied/anxious attachment, fearful-avoidant/unresolved attachment. Those who tend to have dismissing-avoidance attachment styles shy away from intimacy and commitment, aren’t as emotionally supportive, and have pessimistic views on romantic love. Preoccupied/anxious attachment styles tend to hold more anxiety about losing their partners, so they will willingly change themselves for their partners, experience stress from being separated away from their partners, and falls in love easy that tends to not last long. Individuals who have a fearful-avoidance/unresolved attachment style exhibit high anxiety and high avoidance in their romantic relationships. The high anxiety can cause them to exhibit the same behaviors has someone with an anxious attachment style, but also show avoidance tendency as well. Even though they want to be close to their partners, they distance themselves at the same time to prevent any possible rejection from partners. Finally, those with secure attachment styles believe love can last, are emotionally supportive, and can be separated from their partners without extraneous worry. So, what do attachment styles have to do with social media?

Motivations to use social networking sites are different for everyone. Uses include keeping in touch with friends and family, personal or business networking, marketing, trolling, and finding new connections and intimate relationships. Shorter et al., (2022) examined the relationship between attachment styles, social media usage, and loneliness. Specifically, how attachment styles can impact the how much time is spent on social networking sites and the motivations for using these sites with regards to loneliness. This study found that those who are most likely to use social media sites “to reduce loneliness are those with anxious attachment styles” (Shorter et al., 2022, p. 4).

Costanzo et al., (2021) also evaluated the relationship between social networking sites and attachment styles. In this study, the relationship between attachment styles and problematic social media usage is evaluated using maladaptive daydreaming as a mediator between the two. According to the article, maladaptive daydreaming is engaging in “excessive fantasy activity that interferes with an individual’s life” (Costanzo et al., 2021, p. 656). The results of this study revealed that secure attachment styles showed lower scores of problematic social media usage, while preoccupied and fearful attachment styles were associated with higher levels of problematic social media usage (Costanzo et al., 2021). Maladaptive daydreaming is used by those who are preoccupied or have fearful attachment as a “psychic retreat” (Costanzo et al., 2021, p. 659) from any distress they are experiencing in their relationships and fantasizing can be a motivator to use social networking sites as a place where “the idealized self-representation” (Costanzo et al., 2021, (660) is displayed without the possibility of rejection in relationships.

The literature discussed above discusses the relationship between social media and attachment styles. It was found that those who have anxious attachment styles are more likely to use social media to reduce feelings of loneliness (Shorter et al., 2022). In another study discussed, those who have fearful attachment styles and preoccupied attachment styles are at risk for engaging in maladaptive daydreaming, which can lead to problematic social media usage to curb feelings of rejection or to present the desired self without negative feedback. Next time you’re thinking about posting on Instagram or TikTok, take a moment to think about what your motivations are for posting, it might increase self-awareness of your attachment style that you might not have previously thought about.

References

Costanzo, A., Santoro, G., Russo, S., Cassarà, M. S., Midolo, L. R., Billieux, J., & Schimmenti, A. (2021). Attached to virtual dreams. Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease, 209(9), 656-664. https://doi.org/10.1097/nmd.0000000000001356

Shorter, P., Turner, K., & Mueller-Coyne, J. (2022). Attachment style’s impact on loneliness and the motivations to use social media. Computers in Human Behavior Reports, 7, 100212. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chbr.2022.100212