In psychology, an attachment style is “a specific pattern of behavior in and around relationships” (Gonsalves, 2023). Everyone will have attachment styles throughout their lives, including when they are infants and adults. The four adult attachment styles are secure, preoccupied, fearful, and dismissing. When determining your attachment style, you must first identify which characteristics of each best fit your personality.
A secure attachment style is one where adults are “trusting, comfortable with closeness and interdependent” (Gruman, 2017). Most times, adults with this attachment style have confidence in themselves, appreciate their self-worth, and feel comfortable in their relationships. Often times, this is the attachment style that people tend to strive for when creating relationships.
A preoccupied attachment style is when some has a need for closeness and they are worried about abandonment. This type of worry of abandonment may have been created when they were an infant if their caregiver was inconsistent. It can lead to abandonment issues, becoming dependent on a relationship partner, or consistently needing closeness or intimacy.
A fearful adult attachment style is when someone is afraid of rejection, and therefore they are mistrusting and often shy. This type of person usually craves the feeling of closeness and support, however, they distance themselves from others. Often times, this attachment style is linked to childhood trauma.
Finally, a dismissing attachment style is when someone is “self-reliant, independent, and uninterested in intimacy” (Gruman, 2017). These individuals often avoid closeness and intimacy because they do not feel a need to rely on someone else. They are very independent and find it hard to be comfortable enough with someone to trust them with their intimacy.
References:
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. SAGE.
Gonsalves, Kelly. (2023, March 10). Your childhood can affect your adult relationships: Attachment theory, explained. mindbodygreen. Retrieved April 5, 2023, from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/attachment-theory-and-the-4-attachment-styles
Adult attachment styles are a very interesting concept to me. We know that infant attachment styles are set early in life and persist throughout the rest of our lives. Our infant attachment styles are a result of our first experiences of being cared for and how we form attachments to those who are caring for us (Gruman et al.,2016). However, we also know that different relationship choices and experiences, such as who we choose to trust, can develop into different attachment styles as adults (Gruma et al.,2016). This is also just a response to how we are cared for as adults and how our attachment to those people forms. Another thing about adult attachment styles that is interesting to me is the fact that these adult attachment styles are now popularized as a way to get to know your partner better. I remember when my friend asked if I had taken the attachment style quiz and I had no idea what she was talking about. She texted me a link to what she called a “personality quiz”. It was from a news website that was promoting a quiz to try and figure out what your adult attachment style was. However, the quiz only mentioned three out of the four styles you mentioned in your blog. I don’t even remember seeing sources cited for the information that the website was providing. As a society, we need to be careful about these types of personality quizzes and make sure that they are factual and actually helpful.
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2016). Applied social psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. SAGE Publications, Incorporated.