I received an invitation to a family wedding not long ago. Throughout the event, I experienced a high level of anxiety and felt quite uneasy the entire time I was there. I made the conscious decision to attend the wedding because it was a special occasion to reconnect with family and witness two individuals, I deeply care about exchange their vows. Upon reflecting on my feelings of anxiety, I realized that my uneasiness primarily stemmed from being in a crowded room with so many people. I’ve observed that working remotely has been beneficial for managing my day-to-day anxiety, but it has also heightened my social anxiety.
I believe I fall under the negative outcome expectancies. As mentioned in the Applied Social Psychology “Negative outcome expectancies are said to mediate the association of motivation and self-efficacy to anxiety” (Gruman, Schneider, Coutts, 2016). During the event, I found myself dwelling on every possible negative scenario that could unfold during the wedding. Being accustomed to being around only my immediate family, the presence of my entire extended family triggered thoughts of all the potential mishaps that could occur. Given that I hadn’t seen my family in many years, I was apprehensive about how they would perceive the changes in my life. Meeting them as an adult after such a long time and introducing my fiancé into the mix added an extra layer of complexity. I worried they might bring up embarrassing pictures or recount awkward childhood moments, which further fueled my anxiety.
Which would also put me under the category of anticipatory embarrassment. As mentioned in applied Psychology “Anticipatory embarrassment is the name of the emotion resulting from expecting short-term harm to one’s social reputation” ((Gruman, Schneider, Coutts, 2016, p. 109-112). I was filled with anxiety, fearing what embarrassing stories or pictures might be shared with my fiancé. While my family might find them cute anecdotes, in my mind, they held the potential for short-term embarrassment. I also couldn’t help but anticipate the follow-up questions my fiancé might pose, adding to my unease.
My experience at the family wedding highlighted the impact of social anxiety, particularly in the context of family reunions. The interplay between negative outcome expectancies and anticipatory embarrassment was evident, underlining the complexity of my emotions.This reflection emphasizes the need for self-awareness and strategies to navigate social anxiety, during big family events.
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (2016). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. (3rd ed.). SAGE Publications.