When a loved one goes to prison, it feels as though you yourself are in prison as well. I have experienced a loved one, behind bars and I can honestly say it has been one of the most challenging times of my life. Those who believe that the prison system is fair are highly mistaken. No one realizes the struggles a loved one faces on the outside. Now, I can honestly say that those who are in prison for higher crimes, I have sympathy for. But in my case my loved one was behind bars for breaking a “rule”, not a law but a “rule”. Which caused our family to suffer for three years. One year of anticipation as to what was going to happen and two years of suffering with both of us being punished. So, going to prison, a person loses everything, their job, family, time, sanity, and most of all their freedom. As for the loved on the outside, they are loose just the same. I went from having a home with our family, going to work on a daily basis and coming home to a family dinner, family time and laying down at night with no cares in the world. To not knowing when I was going to speak to my loved one, unsure if I would be able to see them and having a family torn apart. Of course, a lot of people say that is the price you pay for the crime that was committed. But unfortunately, in our case it was blown out of proportion. Though many can argue. Regardless, being behind bars even from the outside, I learned that the prison or justice system is unfair. They claim that when someone goes to prison, they talk it up that they should receive the upmost support from family and social workers, rehabilitation, etc. Well, being on the outside, I there were days where I was unable to communicate with my loved one, always waiting for a phone call that might or might not happen, hearing “you have 60 seconds left” at the end of a phone call. My loved one being a far distance from home, causing me to drive 3 and a ½ hours one way for a two-hour visit. But showing up and still having a 50/50 chance of receiving a visit or not. They claim that the prisoners need support, that the justice system will be there, will allow family to be supportive. Yet they make it difficult for that to happen. I feel that if I could change the way the justice system worked, I would change the support aspect of it. Starting with family. Now, not every family is supportive, goes on visits, sends letters, money or receives phone calls. But for those who do, I would make it easier. I can honestly say that the two years my loved one was in prison I spent well over 15 thousand dollars in support, not including gas and time to drive for visits weekly. I was one of the supportive family members, because I knew that my loved one needed it. I knew that going into the stages of having an incarcerated loved one meant giving them support and mainly mental health support. Simple things such as a 10-minute phone call, sending them, “letters or care packages to let them know you are thinking of them” (Admin, 2022), and showing up for visitation can help with their mental health. Mental health is best for those inside and outside of prison, even on the outside, encouraging therapy and ways to cope with the situation are encouraged. None of it is easy and the justice system does not make it easy. However, it is possible to cope, and it is possible to survive. I survived 2 years on the outside with my loved one on the inside. It was not easy, it was two years full of stress, worries, tears, and anger but coping and having support on both sides is what helps get you both through. Mental health is no joke, and I do not feel that the justice system takes it as seriously as they proclaim, therefore I believe that in or out, be there. Do what you can and be persistent. You can change the mindset of yourself and a loved one, you can make it easier, and you can get through it. If only there was a way to change the justice system, and maybe overtime it will. But be there and be sain because on either side, you are behind the bars.
Reference
Admin. (2022, September 15). 10 Tips for Helping a Loved One in Jail. The yale wave. https://campuspress.yale.edu/wave/10-tips-for-helping-a-loved-one-in-jail/#:~:text=You%20can%20also%20send%20them,help%20if%20they%20need%20it.