I have a love-hate relationship with social media. I love social media, but the more I use it, the more thoughts and feelings I have of self-hatred. I can remember the exact day I first downloaded Instagram and was immediately able to connect with all of my friends through pictures and captions. Then, I was able to see what my favorite celebrities were doing and keep up with their lives. As an early teenager, I do not believe I could understand what access to these people’s lives was doing to me, but as an adult, I feel so sorry for doing that to myself. Now having the ability to understand how fake social media truly is and the false sense of community it offers, I can look back and see how much time I have wasted (and sometimes continue to waste) on social media sites, and how detrimental it was to grow up with that access.
Social media can be a powerful tool or weapon depending on the context. It can help companies promote their brand, connect family and friends across continents, and be a creative outlet for many individuals. On the other hand, it can promote unrealistic comparisons and expectations, spread misinformation rapidly, and is designed to prey on addictive tendencies. That last part is where I struggle the most. Growing up, I was always told by my parents that addiction runs in our extended family, so I stayed mindful and away from the obvious vices: drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. I never once thought that social media could or would be my drug of choice. I was not aware of how dangerous and addictive social media can and is designed to be. These sites that were originally created to connect us to others are actually working to disconnect us from ourselves. Studies have found that as time spent on social media rises, so do rates of depression, substance abuse, stress, and suicide (Hansen, 2022). As any addict, my social media use follows a cycle. I start perusing the platform, trying to keep my time to a minimum and monitor my use, enjoying the pretty pictures and videos. Before I know it, I spend hours a day checking the app, comparing myself to people I idolize (even people I do not idolize), until the point where I feel like garbage. Once I have hit rock bottom, I do a detox from social media, feel great, wonder what people are up to, check it, and fall right back into the same cycle.
Why do I do this to myself? Why does anyone who can see the negative effects of social media continue to use it? My guess would be the false sense of community it provides and the lack of knowledge about the dangers of seeking out community in social media primarily. A sense of community is made up of four elements: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection (Gruman et al., 2017). My membership on social media is harder to see than that in real life. I do not have a badge or t-shirt that states I am part of a community, but simply having a presence on social media can create a feeling of membership. One reason I refuse to delete an app I know is detrimental to my mental health is that I do not want to lose the sense of membership in that app. It is the “norm” these days to have a social media presence and not having one can automatically make you feel excluded from that group (even though the perks of membership are not that great).
Influence is the power a community has over an individual and the power they have within the community (Gruman et al., 2017). In terms of social media, likes, comments, shares, etc. are all ways someone can show their influence within the community. “Influencers” are now actual careers for individuals who have many followers, and therefore, more power in the community. Being able to follow and “interact” with these people offers a false sense of connection and value that is hard to replicate in the “real” world. I can confidently say that (while I know I am not even close to the “influencer”-level) if I did not receive the positive affirmations of likes, comments, or followers, I would not participate in social media. I would not feel connected to the “community” and therefore, would not participate. These minuscule and truly pointless behaviors and affirmations keep me tied to the platform that can be so damaging for me. This also plays into the integration and fulfillment of needs where likes, comments, shares, and follows are an exchange of goods and resources within the social community. If someone interacts with my postings, I am much more likely to return the favor and interact with theirs. In reality, we are not exchanging anything important or valuable, but it is made important and valuable within the context of the site and “community”.
The final component of community is that of shared emotional connection, where individuals feel a sense of shared bond with others (Gruman et al., 2017). Followers do not automatically equate to friendships. Following your favorite celebrity can give a false impression of a connection with that individual that we might not feel if our interactions were kept solely to seeing them on the big screens or doing interviews. As for anyone on social media, we see deeper into their lives and can feel a sense of connection to them as a result. Unfortunately, however, the “reality” portrayed through social media is anything but. If we reserve our social connections to only those online, our sense of reality can be completely misconstrued. We see highlights, smiles, and maybe the occasional “no-makeup” selfie. Social media more often than not does not provide a true sense of emotional connection or bond that we might experience if we focus more on the actual community around us.
Writing this out, I realize even more how dangerous and deep my relationship with social media is, and cannot help but wish more information about these dangers were shared with me when I first created my social media accounts. Media literacy is so important for all of us as we attempt to navigate multiple communities across different platforms, and hopefully, it will help us to appreciate the real sense of community that we can find around us rather than seeking the fabricated version online. A whirlpool of dopamine and embellishment, social media can be an exciting outlet, but it should be used wisely and with care.
References
Gruman, J., Schneider, F., & Coutts, L. (2017). Applied social psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. Sage.
Hansen, K. (2022). Our social media addiction. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2022/11/our-social-media-addiction
I thoroughly enjoyed this blog post and I believe a lot of people can agree and relate to almost everything you have mentioned. I for one have once been there. I am 23 years old and I have not have had instagram in probably almost a year, this was due to the toxic behaviors such as needing to check up on certain people that should no longer be occupying my mind, or comparing me and my relationships to everyone I saw, and just the mindless scrolling. I won’t lie and say I have never been on it since, I will download it here and there just give it a 2 minute scroll and I delete it right away not allowing myself back fully into the false sense of self and reality.
I understand you not wanting to get rid of instagram for as you said it keeps you connected but what is it really keeping you connected to? You are right, social media is addicting and it causes a huge decline in mental health, so this brings us back to why do we continue to use it despite the negatives? According to McLean Hospital, one of the reasons we keep coming back for more is because the outcome of social media is unpredictable. When there is a photo posted there is a mystery component of ‘how many likes will I receive?’ ‘Who is going to like my photo?’ This can keep us engaged ( McLean Hospital, 2023).
Reference: Hospital, M. (2023, January 18). The social dilemma: Social media and your mental health. Here’s How Social Media Affects Your Mental Health | McLean Hospital. https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/it-or-not-social-medias-affecting-your-mental-health
In the digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives, profoundly shaping how we connect, share, and communicate. While these platforms offer unprecedented opportunities for staying in touch with friends and family, accessing information, and expressing creativity, they also have various psychological and emotional consequences. This topic delves into the intricate relationship between social media and mental health, exploring the positive and negative impacts these digital spaces have on our well-being.
The rise of social media platforms has undoubtedly revolutionized how we interact with one another. It has allowed us to maintain relationships across vast distances, share our lives through images and posts, and even find communities of like-minded individuals. However, beneath the surface, these platforms have brought about a series of complex psychological challenges. Users often face an array of emotions, from feelings of inadequacy and loneliness to the pervasive fear of missing out (FOMO). This exploration aims to shed light on the multifaceted ways in which social media influences our mental health, from fostering a sense of belonging to exacerbating issues such as anxiety and depression.
As we navigate the ever-evolving landscape of social media, it is essential to comprehend the intricate interplay between these platforms and our mental well-being. By delving into the various aspects, from the addictive nature of social media to the creation of a ‘false sense of community,’ we can gain a deeper understanding of how these digital spaces impact our lives. In doing so, we can develop strategies to use social media more consciously and mitigate its potentially adverse effects on our mental health.
Reference:
Gruman, J., Schneider, F., & Coutts, L. (Eds.) (2017). Applied social psychology. SAGE Publications, Inc, https://doi.org/10.4135/9781071800591
I really liked your write-up on the false community that can be found online. Particularly, the text mentions influence as the sense of control or power that oneself or the community has over each other (Gruman et al., 2017). What is especially insidious about this when it comes to online communities is the fact that the influence that communities have on individuals is extremely strong, but the individual often has very little control or influence on the community online. I believe that mob mentality gets amplified online, which makes it very easy for someone to get totally inundated by backlash. This can be quite harmful when someone finds a sense of community online, only to be jerked out of it very jarringly after finding that the community can turn at the snap of a finger.
Source:
Gruman, J., Schneider, F., & Coutts, L. (Eds.) (2017). Applied social psychology. SAGE Publications, Inc, https://doi.org/10.4135/9781071800591
As someone who is from the generation when internet and social media didn’t existed, I completely understand where you are coming from. Even as a fully grown adult I have often have to shake myself off from the mindless scrolling of social media, and what a time waster it is. In the early days of Instagram and Facebook, even I found myself comparing my life, and feeling frustrated by what I saw on the social media. This feeling and emotion was extremely surprising to me as I consider myself a very secure person. These realization made me understand how dangerous social media can be for young minds.
I think social media scrolling creates stimulus overload (Coutts et al., 2016) we get so focused on the colorful images on social media, that we not only start believing that this is reality, but also that the people we follow deserve our time and attention. It can be dangerous to give so much meaning to the people on social media, and tie our self-esteem with their “likes” and approvals of complete strangers.
Coutts, L.M., Gruman, J.A. and Schneider, F.W. (2016) Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. SAGE Publications.
I’m Sorry; somehow, I posted my response to the wrong blog. Please disregard.
Online communication, with its round-the-clock accessibility, has indeed changed the way we connect with each other. It’s like having the world at our fingertips. We can reach out to anyone, anywhere, at any time. This has revolutionized our personal and professional lives, making it easier to stay connected and share information.
But as Sermaxhaj (2023) pointed out, it’s not without issues. One big problem is the lack of non-verbal cues like body language and eye contact. These cues are super important in helping us understand the tone and emotional context of a message. When we communicate face-to-face, we rely heavily on these cues. They provide a depth of understanding that text-based communication often lacks. In online communication, these non-verbal cues are absent. This can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. A simple emoji or a sentence can be interpreted in multiple ways, depending on the reader’s perspective. This is particularly true in an age where emojis and shorthand are commonly used in text-based communication. This form of communication can be interpreted differently by different people, adding another layer of complexity to online communication.
Misunderstandings can happen in both our personal and professional lives. Even when we’re careful with our words and have the best intentions and awareness of our audience, the tone of a message can still be misunderstood, leading to confusion or even conflict. This can strain relationships and create unnecessary tension.
While technology has made it easier for us to communicate, it can’t replace the depth and personal touch of face-to-face interactions. When we talk to someone face-to-face, we get immediate feedback, a more personal connection, and a better understanding of the message. We can pick up on subtle cues, such as changes in facial expression, tone of voice, or a shift in body language that can significantly impact the meaning of a message. Moreover, face-to-face communication promotes more robust relationships. It allows for a level of intimacy and understanding that is difficult to achieve online. This is particularly important in building trust, whether in personal relationships or professional collaborations.
In conclusion, while technology has its perks and has made communication more convenient, it’s not without its downsides. It’s essential to be aware of these potential negatives and aim for clear and effective communication, whether online or in person. As we work through this new digital age, we must remember the value of face-to-face communication and ensure that it remains a vital part of our communication with each other. After all, no amount of technological advancement can replicate the human connection formed through face-to-face interactions.
References:
Segal, J., Ph.D., Smith, M., M.A., Robinson, L., & Boose, G. (2023, August 14). Nonverbal Communication and Body Language. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
Sermaxhaj, G. (2023, September 20). Online communication and misunderstanding. Youth Time Magazine: News that Inspires, Updates that Matter. https://youthtimemag.com/online-communication-and-misunderstanding/