The application of social psychology to personal relationships is what I would consider the bread and butter of much of my professional work as an outpatient psychotherapist. In this setting there are various presentations and although diagnoses may be similar the intricacies of each client can be vastly different. One common theme I have encountered is clients who report concerns related to the navigation of interpersonal dynamics. Many times, their reactions reflect the content described in the lecture handout summarizing the work of Allport (1985) who described hot versus cold cognitions. The theory proposed that hot cognitions are those fast-paced cognitions that elicit action or emotional reactions. Cold cognitions move a little slower and integrate rational derived from previous experiences or other stored information (as cited in Nelson, 2023). Another concept from the lesson was adult attachment styles which expanded upon the idea that developmental attachment styles were the end of the road for attachment. Instead, Bartholomew (1990) proposed four adult attachment styles: secure, preoccupied, fearful, and dismissing. A secure attachment style for an adult is portrayed by a healthy amount of reliance on others, willingness to trust others, and a degree of comfortability with intimacy. A preoccupied attachment is composed of more anxieties regarding being abandoned and a person is hyper reliant on others. Being closed off from others, fearing rejection, and lacking trust in others would delineate a fearful attachment style. Finally, the dismissing attachment style would describe someone who is independent and sort of aloof when it comes to connecting with others, but not altogether concerned by it (as cited in Weber & Dobson, 2017). The essence of this discussion will be to integrate the concepts of hot cognitions and maladaptive adult attachment styles, as they have presented in a specific case I encountered in my work.
A former client of mine, we’ll call her Laura for the sake of anonymity, embodied the preoccupied attachment style mentioned by Bartholomew (1990) to a tee. She often reported worry her partner would leave her, doesn’t love her anymore, and pulled virtually all her self-worth from positive interactions with him and would be devastated at anything perceived as discontent within their dynamic. In sessions, she would stew and puzzle over seemingly minute interactions that overwhelmed her thinking there was some sort of clue within that would either justify her fear or assuage it.
When I would see Laura, it was in the context of therapy. I was hardly ever privy to what she called meltdowns wherein she would be overwhelmed by an intense rush of emotions, hopeless, helpless, worthless, to name a few. She would berate herself in the mirror and would be inconsolable. She would beg and plead with her paramour to not leave, to forgive her, but also to humiliate herself, why would you want to be with someone so stupid/ugly/useless?” Reader, when I tell you Laura was her own worst enemy, I am not hyperbolizing. Allport would probably agree, she was a victim of her own hot cognitions. There was very little cognitive time or distance between the trigger for emotional instability and the hot cognitions that led to extreme reactions.
As I am sure the reader can imagine, this was not a new pattern for Laura. Since adolescence her relationships with muddled with fast, intense reactions and hyper dependency on the current paramour. It was clear to Laura; the long-standing pattern was no longer sustainable, and she wanted to live a happier life with reduced anxiety and smaller scale reactions. Straying away from social psychology for a moment, potential interventions for symptoms like those Laura experienced could be mindfulness, cognitive reappraisals, and implementation of controlled breathing practices. Her attachment style would be addressed if we could just transition her away from hot cognitions and rely more readily on cold thought processes where she could objectively consider an event without immediately reacting. Once she was able to include rational from cold cognitions into processing stressors, that opened the door for looking deeper into the attachment style and how to remedy another complex, pervasive issue.
The concepts from this lesson have helped me in my creation of conceptualizations of clients. Although specific factors are likely to change, the general outline of processes remains the same, be it the cognitions described by Allport or the attachment styles from Bartholomew. These concepts have been essential to how I approach my clients so that I am able to meet them where they are and provide individualized, empathic, and effective care.
References
Nelson, A. (2023). Lesson 12: Relationships/Everyday Life [Class Handout]. Canvas. https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/canvas/fa23/22381–16042/content/13_lesson/printlesson.html
Weber, A. & Dobson, J. (2017). Applying social psychology to personal relationships. In Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (3rd Edition ed., pp. 417-434). SAGE Publications, Inc, https://doi.org/10.4135/9781071800591