“There is never going to be an endpoint. But definitely, I am happy to complete a certain part of my journey, and that’s something I want to celebrate.” -Harshvardhan Rane

Oh, Thought Bubble, it’s been a long, wild ride and you will be dearly missed. I can’t believe I am actually writing my last blog post for the year. It’s a very bittersweet feeling I have; happy because I can finally stop stressing over uploading a new post each week, yet sad because it has been such a new, fun, and creative way for me to express myself.

Personally, I have never been much of a writer, as I feel like I can never find the perfect words to describe what I am trying to say. But with these blogs, and the informal nature that I have allowed mine to have, I can have some fun with it. I can describe things the way that I would speak them, rather than how I would write them in a formal paper. It has showed me a new style of writing that I think I might actually enjoy. 

This blog has been a bit of a rollercoaster as to the topics that I write about, but that is what I love most about it. I kept the theme very broad during the creation of this site because I had no idea what direction it would take me in, I just wanted to be able to write what was on my mind that week or that day, so I turned it into exactly that, my “thought bubble”.

At first, I didn’t want to write about my actual feelings on this blog, because I thought it was embarrassing, I kept that for a paper journal that nobody would read. Then, I realized that each of my posts gets like maybeee 2 or 3 readers, and even that’s a stretch sometimes, so I figured eh what the heck and went for it. This blog because fun and therapeutic because I could write about anything I wanted without worrying about who was reading it.

Although I am definitely sad about ending these blogs, I can’t deny the relief and happiness I will feel when I finish this one because as much as I loved it, I really did hate it other weeks. Sometimes, I just could not think of anything to write about, and other times I just didn’t feel like doing it, especially when it seemed like I had so much other work I could have been doing instead. Throughout the process, there were definitely many weeks where I had writer’s block, but each week I powered through. Granted, some posts were definitely deeper than others, and some were definitely more dull than others, but as FDR so greatly put it, “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” I think the tougher weeks are what helped me grow as a writer because I had to push myself when it didn’t come so easily.

I look forward to having these posts to look back on and reflect on my thoughts throughout my first year of college. This year only happens once in a lifetime and I am so glad that I had a stable assignment throughout the experience so I can see how I have grown and changed as a person and as a writer. I feel like it really represents my state of mind at certain moments and times throughout the 2 semesters, and other times it was just a way for me to babble about my thoughts. This blog allowed me to learn more about myself and my thought process, and for that I am extremely grateful.

So who knows what my blogging future looks like. Maybe I’ll take up blogging sometime in a few years. Maybe I’ll never blog again. Who knows, but for now, goodbye to my love/hate relationship with these blogs :’)

19 years. I’ve really been alive for 19 years. I can’t decide if that’s a long time or so short. I just turned 19 years old on Monday, March 5th, and I’m having very mixed feelings about it. Of course I am sad because I’m getting older but also excited to see what else my future holds for me. I decided to make a list of some of the most important lessons I have learned throughout my time so far on this Earth. (PSA: order holds no significance…just what came to my head first)

1. Take pictures to cherish moments, not create them. With social media dominating the social scene, it becomes so easy to get caught up in trying to make it look like you’re having the most fun, instead of actually trying to have fun.
2. Taking every opportunity that comes your way can lead to the best experiences. Whether it’s hanging out with new people, going to a new place, or try a new hobby, just go out and do it. And if you hate it, you never have to do it again, plus it might end in a funny story,
3. Sleeping solves any problem. Stressed? Upset? Angry? Confused? Sleep it off. Making sure to get enough sleep each night is crucial. I don’t care how busy you are, you need sleep. And no, 4 hours a night is not enough.
4. Put your phone down. Taking a break from everything is so freeing. Just go outside, read a book, look at a tree, forget about instagram and twitter and facebook for a little bit.
5. Friends grow apart. Friendships end. New ones form. And thats okay. Instead of holding a grudge over the fact that it ended, remember the good times you had together. People change and grow apart and thats okay.
6. Don’t take yourself too seriously. It makes for a happier life. Laugh at your mistakes and learn from them.
7. Drive around with the windows down and blasting music whenever possible. It’s easily the best part of having a license so never pass up on a drive when the weather is nice.
8. One test doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. One failed test won’t stop you from getting into college or getting a job. So there’s no point in stressing over one bad grade. Just do better next time.
9. Your own health and happiness comes first. Always. It sounds selfish and dumb, but you are your main concern. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?
10. Talk to your grandparents and really listen to what they have to say. Some of the stories they tell are incredible. They are wise beyond your years and they’re full of incredible stories waiting to be told, and you never know when your time with them may run out.
11. This Earth is so beautiful. We need to cherish and preserve it for us and future generations.
12. Appreciate every moment you have with your family and friends. The tiniest, most insignificant events will be some of your favorite memories.
13. Your grades in school don’t define you or your intelligence. Education goes beyond just typical schooling and testing, so be open to learning in any environment.
14. Dwelling on something that you can’t change isn’t going to help or solve anything. Accept the past, learn from it and move on.
15. Being yourself is the best thing you can do. It’s so cheesy but there is nobody else like you in the world so celebrate that.
16. Standing up for yourself and what you believe in can really make a difference. Even if it seems like nobody is listening, keep fighting. All Rosa Parks did was sit, and look where we are now. Still fighting, but a few steps closer.
17. Live in the moment instead of getting stuck in your head. Don’t overthink situations to the point where you are forgetting to really live them. Spontaneity is the best.
18. Everything happens for a reason. Any event can be seen as a learning experience or a funny story to tell in the future. Everything depends on what perspective you look at it from.
19. Never regret something that once made you happy. You never know how things will turn out, but if you enjoyed them while they lasted, that’s all you can hope for.

To my best friend,

Where do I even start? I guess I should start with thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there through it all: my awkward stage (although it’s always debatable if I’m still going through it), stressful days at school, every bit of drama we encountered, every college acceptance, picking a college, working at camp together, leaving home for the first time, and hardest of all–our first semester away from each other this year. I couldn’t have done any of it without you by my side encouraging me and helping me through everything.

I wanted to write this both to thank you and to just reflect on the incredible friendship we have had and will continue to have. When you came into my life–kind of in elementary school but really middle school–I had no idea that this would blossom into the incredible friendship that it has. We truly can survive anything, even if that means us drifting apart for a year or two, we always find our way back to each other. I will be forever grateful for that one night when we realized us not being close was dumb and that we needed to have each other back in our lives again. It was like nothing changed, we just jumped right back into being best friends and that is not something that could happen with just anyone.

I couldn’t imagine driving around with no destination in mind while listening to embarrassing throwback music with anyone else while simultaneously talking about every detail of our lives. Literally every detail. I don’t think anyone knows me better than you do….including myself. You know how I feel about something before I even realize it’s how I feel. That’s a skill only a best friend like you could have.

I literally trust you with my life, and that is not an easy task. I know that no matter what day or time it is, I can always come to you with anything, even if it is just for me to rant about something that is bothering me. You don’t get annoyed when I text you every day about the same thing that I just can’t seem to get off my mind even if any other sane person would be ready to block my number because you know I am here for you to do the same. You also are not afraid to tell it to me straight if you know that’s what I need to hear. You never judge me no matter what I do or say and I have yet to meet someone as thoughtful as you.

I know that nothing will ever come between us, even 325 miles. This semester really showed us the strength of our friendship, as no matter how busy our schedules got, we always made time for each other. Before college I was nervous that we wouldn’t be able to continue to know everything about each other and the little things going on in our lives. I thought the distance would lead to general conversations about the big events in each other’s lives. But if anything, this past semester we probably got closer than we have ever been despite the physical distance between us. You know I love to be right, but boy am I glad I was proven wrong on this one.

We are polar opposites and also the same person at the same time. We are best friends. We are sisters. We are soul mates.

We are stuck with each other forever and I couldn’t be happier about that.

xoxo your bff,

Jess

Sometimes you have to be selfish. It’s a simple fact. People seem to really hate that word, ‘selfish’, but I don’t mean it in the way that you’re probably used to hearing it.

When I say you need to be selfish, I don’t mean just throw all concern for others out the window. In fact, I definitely do not mean anything close to that. However this message is to all the people I know (and don’t know) that never put themselves first.

For almost my entire life, I have been very introverted, and because of that, I avoided conflict at all costs. For some reason, I had it in my mind that disappointing someone by putting my own life and feelings first was the worst thing I could do. So there I was, always kind of just..there, but never really pushing myself out of my comfort zone or challenging anything.

I always thought that if I put myself first, people would hate me because I was selfish and didn’t care about anyone but myself and my personal agenda. I soon realized that the way I was thinking was so narrow-minded and that I needed to really rethink my perception of the word.

So I redefined the word for myself. Right then and there. I decided that sometimes, I had to put myself first. I had to be selfish. According to Google, selfish means “lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.” That definition just sounded so harsh and inconsiderate, but this is the definition I have come up with for myself:

SELFISH / selfiSH / (adjective) = considering one’s personal concerns, in conjunction with others’; putting one’s own self before others, when necessary.

Of course, I am not saying completely disregard anything that doesn’t benefit you in some way. I think one of the most important qualities a person can have is, in fact, selflessness, however, to a point. We need to know how to step back and realize when it’s time for ourselves. I have met so many people who have done things that made them absolutely miserable, just because they didn’t want to disappoint someone, when in fact if they hadn’t done it, the other person would have gotten over it and they would have been happier had they not done it. This is so sad, because it held them back from experiencing something that could have brought them immense joy and happiness.

Not only will putting yourself first improve your happiness, it has also been proven to improve your confidence. So maybe that is one of the reasons I’ve been able to overcome my introverted-ness just a little bit.

Now the last-and sometimes hardest-part of putting yourself first, is cutting out toxic people from your life. It’s so hard, especially when you’ve known someone for so long and you feel like you just aren’t allowed to cut them out of your life, but it’s necessary. So much of your happiness comes from the people you surround yourself with and if you surround yourself with negative people or people who put you down, it’s not helping you in any way. In fact, its hurting you.

If cutting that toxic friend out of your life completely is too scary or harsh for you, start small. Maybe limit yourself to just a few times a month when you see them, that way you aren’t totally ditching them, but they also aren’t affecting your mood on a daily basis.

Yeah, it might sound harsh to say that sometimes you have to disappoint people or cut people out of your life, but it’s the truth. It will help you reach that happy place that you strive to reach.

So with all of that said, yes, sometimes you just gotta be selfish.

The Moon is in Leo and then Virgo today. The Moon continues its transit of your work and health sector until mid-afternoon, dear Pisces, and you’re focused on fixing problems, after which you’re inclined to want to relax and enjoy some special company. All day, you’re focused on bringing more order to your world, first in your surroundings, and later in your relationships and social life. Even though you are working faster than you usually do, and taking in more information, you seem to be able to hone in on the most important or relevant points.

According to cafeatrology.com that is my life. Plain and simple. Without even knowing anything about me besides the general vicinity of my birthday, supposedly this website can tell me anything I want to know about myself and my future: my personality traits, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, compatibility with others, etc. All because I am a pisces.

Astrology is nothing new, as it dates back all the way to the Ancient Greeks. Astrology is the study of how movements and positions of celestial objects, specifically stars and planets, are interpreted to understand the effects they have on human events. In astrology, there are 12 constellations of the Zodiac, which correspond with the date on which you were born. Using a Zodiac sign, someone can look up their horoscope (for the day, week, month, or year), which is a prediction of someone’s future. The forecast is produced based on the positions of stars, planets, and other celestial bodies. These forecasts can be written by anybody and found anywhere, in magazines, newspapers, websites, etc., which explains why so many people are hesitant to believe them.

I have always had a very shaky relationship with horoscopes, most of the time I don’t read them because I think they are dumb and it’s just not possible that they could be true, but then I cave and read one and am freaked out by how accurate they can be. One time, for example, my cousin made me put in very specific information about the date and time I was born to get an even more “accurate” horoscope. I honestly thought it would be the usual, vague predictions and assumptions that anyone could relate to themselves, but I was shocked. Shocked.

This horoscope contained multiple paragraphs about my personality and the events occurring in my life. It. Was. Freaky. I hate to admit it, but in this moment I actually did believe in astrology. This got me thinking though: why am I afraid to admit that I might (lowkey) believe in horoscopes? Is it because I hate “believing” in something that doesn’t have cold hard facts to prove its accuracy? Or is it the stigma surrounding astrology that makes me believe it is just a foolish game? I’m really not sure.

Maybe it is because I have always been the type to need scientific proof before “believing” in something, It is interesting though because for some reason I have always been secretly fascinated by astrology. For as long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with space, so it makes sense that the idea of “reading the stars” was of interest to me. Hard to believe, yes, but interesting nonetheless.

I still can’t really give a definite answer on whether or not I believe in horoscopes and all things astrological. However, I can definitely say that there are moments when I do believe it, balanced out by moments when I don’t.

Don’t you worry though, you’ll still find me reading my weekly horoscope every Monday, whether I believe in it or not.

As the one year anniversary of Trump’s inauguration approached, so did the anniversary of the Women’s March on Washington. To show that we will never give up hope or be silenced, protestors prepared to do do it all over again.

So on January 21, 2018, people marched once again. These marches took place throughout the country. In New York City, among the many speeches given to the massive crowds, singer Halsey definitely took the spotlight with her beautifully written poem. She explains that she chose to write a poem because that is the medium most comfortable to her, and that is most important when speaking about such a sensitive, personal topic.

(I have attached the video of her reading it below for those of you who haven’t seen it yet.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKddxONWn78

This poem, titled “A Story Like Mine”, speaks volumes at how relevant the issue of sexual assault is, no matter who you are; what your job is, how old you are, or how famous you are. The poem really captured my interest because of both the language she used and the emotion she poured into each word she spoke. Watching the video of her reciting it literally gave me chills all over my body the entire time.

Although I liked the entire thing, the most powerful part of the poem to me was when she said:

When someone says they are in a sorority, what do you think of?

Blonde, tan, rich, fake, etc…

If that’s what comes to mind, you’re definitely not alone. In fact, this is exactly what I would’ve said 6 months ago if you asked me the same question. Yet here I am, going through sorority recruitment and I honestly don’t even know how I got here.

All throughout my senior year, when people would ask me if I was going to rush, I would always respond the same way, “Absolutely not. I am definitely not a sorority girl.” So what changed? Well, first off, I realized there’s really no such thing as a “sorority girl.” Cliche? Yes. But true? Definitely. Of course, if that’s what you’re looking for, you can definitely find a few girls to fit that mold. What many people don’t realize though, is that there are so many girls in Greek life who definitely do not fit the stereotype.

When I came to college, I was still stuck on this idea of what a sorority was, still stuck on not joining one. But as the months went by, I noticed how many girls were actually in sororities. I mean, come on, we have 20 sororities here at Penn State. But here’s the thing that really shocked me: most of these girls didn’t fit this preconceived notion of a “sorority girl”.

I decided to rush because why not? I figured if I liked it that’s great, and if I didn’t it was no big deal and I could just drop. But let me just tell you, I was shocked at how much I’ve liked it so far.

In case you’re not familiar with the sorority recruitment process, here’s a really simplified overview: basically there are 4 rounds and each round you talk to a few girls in each sorority. After each round, you start to narrow down how many sororities you go to based on which ones you liked the best and which ones liked you the best. Each round is longer so that you can really get to know the girls in each sorority that you are considering.

I tried to just go into this process with an open mind, literally without knowing anything about any of the sororities. This turned out to be the best thing I could’ve done because I went in with absolutely no pressure to get into any certain sorority or “tier”.

On the first day, waiting in line to go into the first sorority, the girls in line with me were insanely nervous. But me? I was cool as a cucumber, no worries at all. I went in and just had fun, easy conversations and genuinely just enjoyed the entire experience. I love to talk to people and this has literally just been an entire week of fun conversations and meeting new people.

So….what’s my point in writing this blog post?

1. Stereotypes…yeah, just don’t listen to them. More often than not, they are completely wrong and you might have missed out on a great opportunity just because you wrongly assumed that a stereotype was accurate. So go into everything with an open mind, free of any judgement or preconceived ideas.
2. Take. Every. Opportunity. I cannot stress this enough. I have been trying to take up any opportunity I could possibly like that comes my way and it is amazing!!! I am trying so many new things and finding new hobbies and interests. I realized I don’t want to be old one day, thinking about things I should’ve done or should’ve tried. I would rather try something, hate it, and never do it again than wonder “what if?” or “what could’ve been?”

All in all, Greek life? Pretty cool so far. I definitely would recommend trying it because you never know what you might discover about others or even yourself.

My 2018 New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Eat healthy
2. Work out more
3. Organize my life
4. Get better grades
5. Learn a new language
6. Make 2018 the best year yet!

Sound familiar? Yeah, that’s probably because it’s just about the same list as half of the country, give or take a few resolutions. And who knows…maybe it’s the same as your list too. It’s a new year, so why not try to better yourself? As people like to say, new year new me…right?

Today, I decided that there was no better way to start the ~New Year~ than with a blog post explaining why I absolutely hate (yes, hate) New Year’s Resolutions.

You might be asking, what’s prompting me to write this post? Well, you see, earlier this week I went to the gym, as I have every week last semester, except this time, something was different. It. Was. PACKED. Like so packed that people were waiting in line just to get in. At first I was confused, but then I remembered what was causing this mayhem: it’s a new year, and with a new year comes New Year’s resolutions.

For as long as I can remember, I personally have never really liked or believed in setting New Year’s resolutions. Even though I am a huge fan of goal-setting and bettering oneself, for some reason the idea of New Year’s resolutions has always just rubbed me the wrong way. My reasoning behind it is this: I think if there is something you really want to change about yourself, you should start right away rather than waiting for the new year. But clearly that does not seem to be a popular opinion because everyone still makes their resolutions year after year after year after year.

Of course resolutions actually do work sometimes, otherwise nobody would even waste their time with them, but how often do people actually succeed in accomplishing their New Year’s resolutions? I wouldn’t be so opposed to resolutions if they were actually proven to have a better success rate, however I can see with my very own eyes how that is not the case. Just seeing the difference between the amount of people at the gym in the beginning of the week to the end was all the proof I needed. Just 10 days into the new year, people are giving up on their goals for the year to come.

I really want to stress that it’s not that I don’t think New Year’s resolutions ever work, because I really do give major props to the people who truly do stick to their goals they set for the New Year. It’s just that people give up so easily because there is so much pressure surrounding a new year that has to be “perfect”. Let me break it down for you: let’s say someone who had vowed to eat healthier in the new year indulged in some fast food for one meal in the beginning of January. There are so many people that just give up entirely because they think that by caving once that they have failed. But here’s where the real problem comes in…instead of trying to continue with this goal of eating healthy despite a small bump in the road, many people just ditch the idea completely and say “oh well, next year will really be my year to eat healthy”.

I argue this: Why do you have to sit around and wait for another year to come? Time doesn’t stop for anybody! We need to seize the moment and if there’s something we want to change, we can change it whenever we please. Carpe Diem!

As Thanksgiving break approached, all I could do was count down the days until I finally got to go home. Home. It’s such a weird concept, like what does home actually mean. According to Google, home is defined as “the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.” Now you see, this definition made me a little uncomfortable. I had always considered New City, NY, the place where I grew up, to be home, but being here at college makes that idea a little iffy.

Technically, I don’t live at “home” permanently because for a majority of the year I live in State College, PA. Sooo… does that make this my home? Is my dorm room my new home? When I finally went back to New York for break, the first day there felt weird. Like very weird. It was as if everything had just kind of moved on without me, except my room was exactly the way I left it (with the addition of some dust here and there). Literally even the cup of water I left on my nightstand was still there.

So here I am, in this place that I had always considered home, my safe space, feeling kind of out of place. That day I started thinking, is my dorm room really my new home? I didn’t like that idea, not because I didn’t want to feel comfortable at college, but because I felt like that meant I actually was growing up and kind of, in a way, moving out.

The week went on, and as each day passed, I started to feel more and more comfortable in my house, and by the end of the week I didn’t want to leave. I had finally gotten back in the groove of living in my house with my family again, so I didn’t want to have to leave that behind once again. I was kind of nervous about coming back to campus because I wasn’t sure if I would feel the same being back in my dorm room because of how I had felt back in New York, but as I walked in the room, I once again felt that feeling of being “home”.

If I had felt at “home” in New York and at Penn State, what did this mean? How could I feel the same about both places? I decided I don’t need to figure out the answer to that right now. If I’m happy and comfortable at both places, why should I have to choose?

And anyways, how lucky am I to have two places that I get to call home?

Last week, Penn State Hillel welcomed Mark Schonwetter, a Holocaust survivor, to speak. Accompanying him was his daughter, Ann S. Arnold, who wrote a book called, Together: A Journey for Survival, describing his experiences.

I have heard one other Holocaust survivor speak before, but the fascinating thing is that everyone has a completely different story and experience.

The event began with Ann giving some background on Mark and she also described some of their interactions with students at other schools they had visited. She was an incredible speaker who really captured the audience’s attention. There were laughs and there were tears, so basically my emotions were all over the place.

People often assume that someone who has suffered through something as horrible as the Holocaust would be bitter and angry that these were the cards that they were dealt. However, this man was nothing like that. He spoke about his experience in hiding with his mother and sister and how he barely had any food. He even told the story of finding out that his father had been killed. Although this seems like plenty of reason to be angry, he wasn’t. Someone in the audience asked him if he hated everyone who was a Nazi, and he said no. He said no because they were just doing what they had to do to protect themselves and their families. Like what??

Another audience member asked him how he was so optimistic despite what he had gone through and you know what he said? He asked the guy if he had ever been on vacation before. He said, “do you remember how happy you were on vacation? Smiling at everyone and loving life? Why shouldn’t every day be like vacation?”

Everyone in the audience just kind of gasped and looked around. I had so much admiration and respect for this man. He put it so simply; if life isn’t making you happy then what are you doing? Why wouldn’t you want to spend every minute so happy that it feels like you are on vacation? Why waste your short time on this Earth hating something or someone and being angry? It’s just not worth it.

Mark Schonwetter is a hero. Not because he performed some grand act of bravery (although surviving the Holocaust does require quite a bit of bravery), but because of his message that he relays onto every single person he speaks to. He tells his story so that this horrible time will never be forgotten, and along the way he inspires people to always choose happiness above any other negative emotion. And that is why he is a hero.