Today marks a week and two days until I return home for the rest of the semester. Once I leave to return back to my hometown it will be Thanksgiving break, and then soon after the first semester of my freshman year will be over. Technically, this blog post marks my last one for the first semester for English 137H, so with that in mind, I thought it would be nice to recap and talk about what I have learned and share what I have gained from this new experience. My initial plan for my passion blog was to bring you all along and join me in finding my “new normal.” I am still not quite there yet, but here is what I have so far.
First, I learned that I can live on my own. In the beginning, I found it to be a bit of a struggle, but it all just comes through time and routine. It was something I never thought to question, but it definitely threw me off a bit. Without having someone such as your parents to guide your every move 24/7, it can be confusing and stressful at times. I have learned I actually enjoy doing laundry, but absolutely hate taking the trash down to the basement of the dorm hall. The terrible stench, the sound of the leaky pipes, and the creepiness of the basement make taking the trash down a dreadful chore. Knowing I can handle being on my own takes away some of my fears I have for the future.
The second thing I have learned is that sometimes distance between people can actually make you so much closer. I have a very personal experience to this one. For me there is one person in specific I have in mind. Although I have only gotten to see them a few times while I have been living on campus, they have made my life so much better and bring me so much happiness. They are the one person I truly look forward to talking to each day. Since the second week of being here on campus, I am pretty sure I have talked to them at least every day, multiple times throughout the day. We are so much closer and I am so happy. I am especially excited to go back and see them when I return home.
One thing I wanted to add is that I learned that I am surprisingly decent at art. For this semester one of my gen eds was intro to ceramics. I was a little nervous about this class because I had never taken a class like this before, but after a whole semester I can proudly say that I am actually not too bad at it. It is fun to shape the clay with your hands and make whatever you want. One of my projects was to pick around 20 items and create a collage. So far, that is my best project yet.
Not to sadden the mood, but the last thing I have learned is that my anxiety is definitely getting worse. I knew it was bad before I left, but the added pressures of college are making it even harder for me to deal with it. I started on a medication before coming down to State College hoping it would help make college easier to cope with. I do believe it has helped but I still think more can be done to help me feel better and get back to normal. One thing in specific that I have noticed is how nervous and anxious I get with knowing I have to complete certain assignments. This sometimes leads me to procrastinate, but not in the way people usually do. Mine is more anxiety-induced procrastination. It isn’t because I don’t want to do the assignment, it’s because I get so anxious and sometimes I have panic attacks and am not able to physically or mentally allow myself to do it. This is only hurting me because by procrastinating and putting assignments off, I get farther behind and even more stressed out.
A progress shot of a tree I made in ceramics
Overall this semester was enjoyable. I had my highs and lows, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I gained so much out of this experience and can not wait to see what next semester may bring!
Some of my closest friends I made this semester
It is great to see that this semester had a number of good lessons. Finding a new talent in ceramics must have been very interesting and the tree above looks quite good! I hope that you can find ways to better manage your anxiety and procrastination in the coming semesters.
Congrats on almost finishing your first semester!!! I remember when I finished fall semester last year; finals week crept up on me out of nowhere. My roommate and I would take turns throwing trash out, but I found it to be very satisfying because I would chuck the bag into the disposal.
I’m glad you were able to make friends your first semester. I struggled a lot during my first semester and there wasn’t even a pandemic going on to limit interactions.
Good luck during your first finals week! Shouldn’t be too bad since we’re online! 🙂