This week put simply was insane. I truthfully do not know how I handled everything this week had in store. I still feel in shock. Things I have never quite experienced in my life before happened all at once, and so fast. It is a little hard to talk about and a little personal. I would rather not talk about it in my blog, but I feel as though I cannot avoid it because of it’s impact and how it has controlled about 95% of my thoughts up to this point in the week. With that being said, please cope with me as I try to continue expressing myself and I apologize in advance. Without getting into fine detail, one thing I have definitely taken out of all of these situations is to take notice who has your back in tough situations, and to always check on your friends to make sure they are alright. No one ever knows anyone else’s situation or what they are going through, so that is why it is so important to be there for everyone even if you are not that close to them. Another thing I want to get across is to not always assume the worst of everyone, try to look for the positives and help out rather than assuming.
I also believe something more people need to understand is that it is okay to not be okay. I know that people are constantly told that and that it sounds cliche, but it is so important to understand. This blog may be a mess, but if I am being honest, that is where my head is at the moment. So, hopefully, you can keep up with me. I always knew my new friends I had made up at Penn State had my back, but throughout this week, it was made so much clear how lucky I am to have the friends that I have. Willing to drop anything at any time to help me at any second. I have always thought I would never need to go to CAPS, Counseling & Psychological Services, located in Penn State’s main campus. However; I think it definitely would benefit me, especially after this week. It is something I am seriously considering. Knowing that someone professionally can just listen and help me sort out my thoughts sounds comforting to me. It would be nice to talk to someone with a new perspective, someone’s I have never heard before. My biggest issue is figuring out how I am feeling and how to deal with all the emotions. They are on a constant rollercoaster, and I can’t seem to figure which ones are valid.
I have so many questions in my head. Am I overreacting, or possibly not reacting enough to the situation? How am I supposed to be feeling? Am I feeling the right or wrong way about all of this? What do I do? I don’t wanna make a wrong decision. It is hard to figure out where you are when you don’t even know what type ot headspace you are even in. At this point, I apologize for this little rant and everything you have read up to this point. All I hope is that you can take away the big picture to care for yourself and your friends. Things never go as planned, but we control how we deal with them. There is always help available.
I like how you choose to see the little lessons in your situation, although I do not know the details of what you are going through, I know that can be hard. Seeing a positive or how things will pan out is much easier said than done. I also can relate to realizing how good of friends I have, and who will truly be there for you at the drop of a hat. I consider myself extemely blessed to have some close best friends that I can go to about anything at anytime. Sometimes they are the people I can just rant to and sort my thoughts with. I highly suggest you go to CAPS if you feel like it will help, because like you said, it is okay to not be okay!
Firstly, I want to say that if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always here, and I mean that. CAPS is honestly an amazing resource, and I recommend trying it out. It always helps to just talk and sort out your feelings with someone, especially someone who does that professionally. I want to reiterate your point that it’s okay to not be okay, because it’s so true. One quote that I really love is, “No rain, no flowers.” Good things are coming, even though it might not seem that way right now. I also want to say that it’s completely okay to not have answers to your questions. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, and your feelings are completely valid. If you ever need anything at all please reach out to me on Snapchat or Instagram <3
I may not know the exact details of what you’re going through, but I hope everything works out in the end and you feel better. Hopefully, you discover the silver lining in your situation and if there isn’t one, you find a way to create one. I appreciate you for showing your emotions in this post and all your previous ones as it can be very hard to show people your vulnerable side much less strangers.
I think your “rant” gives us a lot of useful advice that we forget such as to remember who has your back, to keep an eye out on your loved ones, reserve judgements and listen, and most importantly that it’s ok to ask for help and to not be ok. My friend’s dog passed away earlier this week, so I have been trying my best to give her space but comfort her at the same time. I hope everything works out for you. I believe in you.