The holiday season is quickly approaching which means two things. The semester will be over very soon and all Penn State students will be returning home. I believe the semester technically ends on the week of December 18th. I recently received an email saying that students living on campus in dorms must be out by November 22nd. It is crazy to think that we have less than a month before we go home. That is about two more weekends left living here on campus. The first semester went by extremely fast. I remember the exact day I moved in. It was a rush of emotions, but it was so worth it. I was so scared yet so happy to be beginning college and starting a new chapter. I met some of my closest friends and I knew everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I feel as if I am starting to get my routine down, but at this point, it is almost over.

The first half seems like a blur. Many of the weeks meshed together. It was a similar routine every day. It consisted of waking up at nine o’clock for class, getting breakfast, doing homework, and attending other classes too. Luckily, I was able to get one class in person. I have one in-person class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week. Due to covid, it made it difficult to get out and do things due to social distancing and restrictions. It was very slow in the beginning, but for the last half, it seems like it has been flying by. I think this is because of all of the events and activities that have taken place. We had Halloween which was a lot of fun. My close friends and I got to dress up and went downtown to walk around and enjoy the night. Last weekend was also the first Penn State football game at Beaver Stadium. Last weekend was a lot of fun and very memorable. Along with all the craziness, I have been tested for covid three times by the Testing and Surveillance Center at University Park. I was very nervous about getting tested in case I would have to do the nose test which I have actually done two out of the three times. I feel like a pro now, and it is not bad at all. It is very manageable and not too uncomfortable. I have gone to the Bryce Jordan Center and the Pegula Ice Arena.

Something I definitely need to focus on now is planning on what I need to pack when I go home over break. It still seems weird to me how everything I need to live off is in my tiny dorm room, but it works perfectly. The break will be nice, but I am definitely looking forward to coming back and starting a new routine. At times I wonder what it will be like next semester. I wonder if covid will improve or get any worse. I truly hope for the best.

My friends and I dressed up for Halloween

Gameday at the “We Are” sign

This weekend is the Penn State vs. Ohio State football game and I am very excited. The game is actually taking place at State College. Beaver Stadium has been quiet for a long time so it is going to be a whole new experience getting to be at Penn State on game day. As a freshman, and due to the coronavirus, I have yet to experience this. One thing I was especially looking forward to this year was being able to attend Penn State football games. I believe game day is a whole new atmosphere up here in State College. The stadium fills up with fans all decorated in blue and white attire. Delicious aromas of food fill the air from people tailgating and celebrating all across campus. Watching the fans and student section cheer on football players gives me so much pride. I remember attending my first football game and it is something I will never forget. After going to that game, that was when I realized I wanted to be apart of the Penn State experience. I remember chanting “WE ARE” and it was such a fun memory. I knew at that moment that I wanted to be apart of the Penn State community.

I am so thankful that I chose to attend to live on campus in person as a freshman this year due to the coronavirus. I have made a lot of memories and learned a lot, and I feel like I would have missed out if I would not have come this semester. I have made a lot of friends that I have created such great bonds with. Although I am having a lot of fun, I do get sad at times that there are no events and things such as football games and tailgates. That is another reason why I am so excited for this weekend because I feel like this is my first real Penn State experience.  It is also nice because the university has set up places for “watch parties” for students and staff. This is helpful because it still gives students opportunities to watch the game with friends along with following social distancing restrictions. They are offering spots for students at the Bryce Jordan Center, the softball, baseball, and lacrosse fields. My plans for my friends and I are to watch the game in the lounge area of our dorm hall. I am so excited to finally get this first experience at Penn State this weekend.

The picture I took at my first Penn State game

This is the Bryce Jordan Center where watch parties are taking place

Living on campus has led to me overthinking a lot recently. I have thought about family, friends, and old relationships I once had. I have noticed a change in my personality and physical appearance. I do not feel like a college student yet, and it still seems impossible that I am living on my own attending Penn State University. One thing I especially miss and think about are my friends back home. During the summer we spent every day together. We hung out every night and it was very unlikely to be home before 2 a.m.

There are around twelve of us. I have a huge friend group that consists of people I have known since early elementary school. They are my absolute best friends and we have been together for such a long time. We have so many great memories together but my favorite was definitely getting to spend a week at Ocean City, Maryland, with all of them. We bonded so much over that trip and learned so much about each other. It was definitely a trip to remember because many unexpected things happened that made us even closer.

Many of them stayed back home and chose to attend Penn State Altoona for college, but the others went to campuses all over. My best friend attends Duquense university which is in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The day I said goodbye to her was really sad, many tears were shed. She is only about two hours away, but realizing she was no longer a ten minute drive away hit me really hard. Although we are farther apart, I feel like I am closer to some of them. I get to talk to them everyday and know everything going on, but unfortunately some of them have not stayed in touch as well. I am excited for Thanksgiving break to see them all again, it will be like the good old days.

One thing in particular that I am worried about is losing some of them because of the distance. I am still very close with all of them, but I fear things could change eventually. After college we all have big plans. It is exciting yet scary all at the same time that my future is right in front of me apporaching quickly. I want to take this time to learn and grow as a person. With 2020 coming to an end, I wanna set goals for myself for next year to work on who I want to be and who I want to put out to the world.

My main goals are to work on my confidence and to exercise more to make myself feel better. Going on walks is something I really enjoy and I started running around campus which is a nice break away from the dorm room and homework. Doing these activities and having mental reminders give me a lot more motivation which helps me become more productive throughout the day. More places are beginning to open back up due to the closure of places from the corona virus. The IM building on Penn State’s campus is now open and I hope to go there soon to be able to workout. This will be something beneficial to add to the daily routine.

Making time and focusing on myself will be good for me and help make this time a little less stressful. I know everything will workout the way it is supposed to.

The IM building on campus

My close friends from elementary school

Once said by the renowned physicist Albert Einstein, “Time flies when you are having fun.” At this point in the Fall 2020 semester, students only have a little over a month left before we are sent home for Thanksgiving break. It is shocking to me that I am already past the halfway point of my first semester as a freshman in college. Everything still feels so new and like I do not have a routine yet. It has been a variety of emotions and I have gotten to experience so many new things.

I did not realize how fast time has been moving until the thought of next semester and next year had been brought to my attention. I was told that very soon I will be asked by the university whether or not I would want to opt-in or out of living in a dorm for next year. It is crazy to me that decisions like this are needing to be decided at this early in the year. I have been told that some people already have contracts signed for apartments for next year by the end of this October. Creating my schedule for next semester is even harder to comprehend. I just started all of these classes and it does not seem possible that they are more than halfway over.

Understanding all the things that are approaching quickly is making me realize I have a lot to organize and prepare for so I can focus on the next few steps of my education.  This can be a stressful aspect and time for college, but if I take everything step by step I will get through it. Next semester is my next step, so I have decided my main focus should be to set up an academic advising appointment with my academic advisor. Academic advisors are a crucial part of staying up-to-date on your career pathway and making sure each student is able to talk through their academic plans and concerns. I am in the College of Liberal Arts at Penn State so I was given the opportunity to be apart of the Paterno Fellows Program if my grades keep me eligible. This is something I am hoping I get to permanently be apart of to feel like I belong to something due to how large Penn State University is. Setting up an appointment will definitely help relieve a number of my worries.

Once I get my plans for next semester all figured out, I want to explore my options for housing next year. As of right now I know I do not want to stay in a dorm room because there are many restrictions and I want to be able to have more freedom and meet more people. Due to Covid-19, students have been very limited on opportunities and I hope that living in an apartment will allow me to make more friends and experience more than I was able to this year living in a dorm. My main focus is to save the most money I can because I want to do as much as I can to prevent as much financial debt in the future. Living in an apartment on campus would be ideal because the distance would not be too bad to come and go from each class.

Finding someone to get an apartment with is something I must also look into. Prices vary depending on the number of roommates. I have become such great friends with my current roommate, but she has decided to continue living in a dorm for next year. My brother is a senior at Penn State and has lived in a few apartments during his time here so he will be able to help give me some advice.

All of these things that are coming up can seem extremely stressful, but I know they are all apart of the process and what helps to make this such a unique experience for each student. Rather than getting overwhelmed, I am going to try and take everything one day at a time because before I know it all of this will be over in a blink of an eye. I know everything will work out the way it is supposed to. I am beyond excited to see where it all leads me.

How I schedule an academic appointment with my advisor.

This is Martin Hall where I am currently living on campus.

As each day passes, the changing leaves and crisp weather are fastly approaching. Fall is one of my all-time favorite seasons. I love all aspects of it such as the weather, the aromas, and that holidays are coming very soon. When I think of fall I think of pumpkin pie, the candles, crunching leaves, the beautiful colors, Halloween movies, and especially getting to wear sweaters. Something I look forward to each year is the “31 Nights of Halloween.” This is something my sister and I enjoy watching together each Halloween. For those of you who do not know what this is, it is the Freeform network that plays Halloween movies the whole month of October. Our favorite movie to watch is Hocus Pocus.

Although, this year is somewhat different because I am not able to spend this time at home. Instead, I am living on campus in a dorm room. Every year we do festive things during the holiday season. Pumpkin picking and carving, painting pumpkins, apple picking, corn mazes at JB Tree Farm, haunted hayrides, and baking. Something we do every year is going to Old Bedford village where they host “Murder Mystery.” This is an event where people volunteer and entertain the public by dressing up and taking on the role of characters in the village of Old Bedford. People who attend this event get to “interview” each character and by the end of the night, you are given the opportunity to predict who you think the murderer was. It is a spooky, family-oriented event. They offer baked goods, and people get to explore the old town. It is something I look forward to every year, but unfortunately due to COVID-19, it was canceled.

Due to being on campus, I am not able to do the things I normally do, but I can always make some new memories and traditions. In our dorm hall, we are provided with a kitchen. This is nice because the residents are able to use the kitchen at any time they would like to. One thing we can do is bake cookies or any fall treats at any time we would like. Another idea is to buy pumpkins to carve and decorate them in our dorm. This would be a fun activity for friends and roommates. On Penn State’s campus at the arboretum some other events also take place. This includes the Pumpkin Festival which has a pumpkin giveaway, jack-o’ -lantern carving contest, and activities for families to enjoy.

As we have learned from 2020, we have to be open to new ideas and trying new activities we normally would not do. Hopefully, some of these new activities can stick and become a new tradition for me and others.

Hocus Pocus our favorite Halloween movie

One of the villages in Old Bedford Village

Another week, another post about college life. It is now about week six, and I have yet another lesson I have learned that I want to share with everyone. Each day I continue working on myself and trying to figure out what suits me best. This experience is all about me finding my path for my future endeavours. New challenges and opportunities continue to come and go unexpectedly. The weeks and days are going quicker by the second as fall fastly approaches. These last few weeks seem to have meshed together. Days and weeks are exactly the same and nothing particularly stands out.

Last night as I was lying in bed I had an “aha” moment. It was the first night in awhile I went to bed with a clear mind. All of my assignments were completed, and I was in bed by a decent hour. I laid there for awhile listening to music and contemplating life. I enjoyed having that time for myself because I had realized an important matter that appeared to be lost behind the shadows of other demanding aspects of life. I was filled with worry at the idea that I may be losing sight of why I am here at this point in my life. Yes I am here to get a good education, but what will my end result be. Right now my main concerns are making sure assignments are getting turned in on time, but it is necessary to understand the bigger picture. I made a list of my goals and hopes for the future such as becoming a psychologist someday. It was relieving seeing them written on paper, and it excites me that one day they could become a reality.

A list I use throughout the day

In writing out this list, it came back to one important thought, “how can I improve and better myself as a person?” How can I ensure this becomes a reality?” This list then led to another list which then led to a few

more. The first step in improving myself was making a list for each day so I could easily focus on what I needed to achieve each day to feel successful in managing my time. Making this list could “declutter” my mind which will be beneficial to me. This solves an issue of time management because I have everything planned out right in front of me. These lists make me feel better because they are going to help me feel better about myself which has led to something else. It  made me realize there are important daily tasks that I have lost sight of. Doing things such as drinking enough water to stay hydrated, and obtaining at least eight hours of sleep. Reminding myself through this list will help with my confidence and help me feel motivated even during the hardships. This is so important to me because it will allow me to feel better inside and out.

Sometimes we are given moments to reflect on ourselves, and I believe that is what was meant to happen last night. I hope I can contine moving forward with simple daily reminders that help to calm my mind and reassure myself it will all be worth it and work out in the end.

I have decided to use this water bottle to remind me to stay hydrated

Entering freshman year of college is a whole new world for many students. It is the start of new beginnings. As much as students try preparing for this unknown process, the new lifestyle will take awhile before it can become a daily routine like the one we had known for 12 years prior. Along the way there will be roadblocks that may feel like there is no possible solution. These struggles will be seen as unpleasant, but eventually they may turn into blessings in disguise. They will help to shape you into who you are meant to be. As of right now, most freshmen in college, including myself, identify ourselves with the version we had of ourselves in high school. That image may eventually transform into someone you never thought you would be.  It can be an enlightening moment to see the person you may become. Growth is a process and learned through experiences such as college. During these first couple weeks it is inspiring to see the growth and lessons I have already taught myself.

Up to this stage in my life, I feel as if my personality is a defining point for me. From my perspective, I embody a wide variety of personalities. I strive to find happiness and communicate it to others. Along with the happiness, a considerable portion of my character is comprised of anxiety and worry. Each year it is evident that the anxiousness is progressing by effecting my consciousness. As a young girl, I was care-free and did not express much distress in comparison to now. Through time and experiences, it led me into become quiet and being labeled as “shy”. Being referred to as shy hurt because I wanted to be outgoing like others, but I found it strenuous. Growing up I endured hardship by developing a phobia of dogs. Scientifically, it is referred to as Cynophobia. My fear held me back mentally and physically in numerous ways. I felt as if I could never truly be myself because I lived in a constant fear. Self-conscious of my fear, I struggled communicating with others. I believed no one knew what I was going through because it was “weird”. I was embarrassed of exposing myself to the world that I had a fear of the animal that was considered a “man’ s best friend.” To overcome my phobia, I attended weekly sessions of hypnosis by a psychologist. Sadly the hypnosis did not work, but I trust that I was meant to handle it on my own. I overcame my phobia at the age of 14 and I am so proud of myself. This fear of mine  controlled me for so long and I finally took it’s power over me away . Despite the fact that my phobia was arduous to surmount, I do not regret or wish that I had not been given the opportunity to deal with it. I believe this obstacle was put in my life to prove to myself I can achieve anything I set my mind to. It all came back to the day when my best friend had recently gotten a new puppy. I was petrified to go because the thought of the dog filled me with terror. I had been scared of dogs for awhile at this point. I decided this was the day I was done. I was ready to feel free. I no longer wanted to carry the weight of this fear on my shoulders.

I can proudly say that I am no longer afraid of dogs and I feel way more confidence within myself to handle hardship. Ever since I got over my fear I have felt happier with myself and less stressed as a person. Sweaty palms, trembling, and shortness of breath, and wanting to run are non existent when in contact with dogs. Entering college as a freshman makes me feel like I used to with my fear. The anxiety is starting to present itself again in small ways. I am grateful Penn State offers resources for students such as the Counseling and Psychological Services.This new chapter in my life can be frightening, but with my strength from past encounters I will be able to control it. I have already changed as a person and I know I still have more coming. Through exposure to this new chapter in my life I am excited to see what else I will learn and grow into as a young adult entering the world. I must learn to trust the process and understand everything will happen for a reason.

The day I went to my friends house and held a dog for the first time.

The CAPS center for students seeking help.

It has now been four weeks that I have been living on Penn State’s campus, and three weeks that I have been in class. As each week and day passes by I experience new places, people, and hardships. The first hardship I have encountered is something very unexpected. Throughout your childhood you go through a typical day and probably do not pay much attention to the daily routine you have had established from such a young age. I never realized that simple tasks would turn into what felt like a chore now that I did not have my parents here to remind me of what I needed to make time for. Although I feel embarrassment admitting to this, I feel it is important to share every experience whether good or bad. During the first week of living on campus my biggest struggle was making time to eat.

Eating is one of our basic needs as human beings. In my household growing up, we always dedicated time to having three meals a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Eating meals regularly is a key factor to ensuring our bodies get enough energy to go about our days being able to perform to the best of our ability. Forgetting to eat sounds very unpractical, I know, but it is something I am still working on managing my time for. If I would have told myself from the future that I would struggle with making time to eat a meal, I most likely would have laughed it off and not believed it. Telling myself that I am having difficult with time management would have been more understandable, and that is all it is. I had to find a way to set aside time for necessary tasks such as eating. At first it sounds like a joke, but my peers and family took notice and quickly became concerned.

According to Google maps, Findlay Commons is only a two minute walk from Martin Hall which is where I am currently residing. Findlay commons is apart of the East Food District where a multitude of students living in East on campus go for quick and easy on-the-go meals. It takes only two minutes of my day, yet I could not find the time for myself by prioritizing other aspects of my day. I do not want to worry anyone. The reason behind this is not that I did not want to eat, it was the rationale that I focused a great deal on homework, and hanging with friends that the idea of food never crossed my mind. As expected, it caught up to me. I had two or three days where I then faced the repercussions . Loss of energy, getting sick, and many ineffable emotions. Although it was a rough period, it taught me a good deal and lesson about life. If I can take anything from this experience and help others, I want to share this:

PSU Findlay Commons

I got to visit my family this day and they told me their concerns and we talked about it and worked through it together

Although times can become overwhelming and stressful, it is important to always put your yourself first. Drink water, eat three meals a day, keep up with hygiene. That homework assignment and your friends will be there when you come back. Every so often we all need to take a step back from reality and focus on what is best for ourselves whether little or small.

Me graduating from my high school

The year 2020 is definitely one for the books. This chaotic year has been filled with nothing but history. I think it is interesting to know that one day I will get to tell my children what happened in the year 2020. What was my 2020 like? Not only did it consist of quarantining due to a worldwide pandemic, but it was the year I started college.

My new friends from Penn State

Throughout this crazy time of our lives many of us have had to find our “new normal.” We still do not all know what that consists of yet, but I think it is going to take awhile for us all to figure that out. During this time of trying to get normalcy back into our daily lives, I feel as though I can relate my college experience in a similar way. I am practically starting all over again. It is going to sound odd, but my whole life I never could see myself growing up. How could I, Kayli Barefoot, be living on my own without the help of my parents? How am I supposed to leave everything I had known and start all over? Who even am I? Who will I be by the time I graduate from Penn State?

When given the opportunity to create a passion blog I struggled to to think about what I am passionate about. Being passionate is to have a powerful emotion towards an idea. I had done cheerleading for 9 years of my life and I feel as though that defined me. Although, I did not want it to define me because I know I am way more than an extracurricular activity. I did a lot of thinking and this is what I came up with:

I am extremely passionate about my feelings as a person. Sometimes I struggle in certain situations to put out the right words, but when it comes to my thoughts and feelings it just flows right out. In this new college setting I have lots of emotions. I am anxious 24/7, happy, and beyond scared. I have the whole world right in front of me, but how do I make sure I do the right thing. Can I handle something like this? As I embark on this new journey, I invite you to come along and help me figure out my “new normal.” Hopefully you will get to see me answer the large amount of questions I have. I am so scared to be on this new journey in my life, but I hope this blog can help me to release some of that fear and express my emotions as a freshman in college and my new pathway. I am excited to share my experiences!