What I was Wearing
by Mary Simmerling

was this:
from the top
a white t-shirt
cotton
short-sleeved
and round at the neck

this was tucked into
a jean skirt
(also cotton)
ending just above the knees
and belted at the top

underneath all this
was a white cotton bra
and white underpants
(though probably not a set)

on my feet
white tennis shoes
the kind one plays tennis in
and then finally
silver earrings, and lip gloss.

this is what I was wearing
that day
that night
that fourth of July
in 1987.

you may be wondering
why this matters
or even how I remember
every item
in such detail

you see
I have been asked this question
many times
it has been called to my mind
many times
this question
this answer
these details.

but my answer
much awaited
much anticipated
seems flat somehow
given the rest of the details
of that night
during which
at some point
I was raped.

and I wonder
what answer
what details
would give comfort
could give comfort
to you
my questioners

seeking comfort where
there is
alas
no comfort
to be found.

if only it were so simple
if only we could
end rape
by simply changing clothes.

I remember also
what he was wearing
that night
even though
it’s true
that no one
has ever asked.

“What were you wearing?” A question all too many times asked when a sexual assault victim comes forward about their attack. We are living in a world of feminist anti-harassment campaigns like Time’s Up and Me Too, which lay the responsibility for men’s sexual misconduct squarely on men themselves, but many people are still intent on holding survivors (most often women) responsible for such behaviors. Nowhere is this more serious and disturbing than in cases of rape, where survivors are still frequently asked what they were wearing, how much they had to drink, and if they had led on their attacker. Now, an art exhibit aims to reclaim the accusatory refrain “What were you wearing?”(Source)

The “What Were You Wearing?” student-survivor art installation first took place at the University of Arkansas in 2014, inspired by the above poem written by Mary Simmerling. Student survivors of sexual assault voluntarily shared brief descriptions of what they were wearing when they experienced sexual violence for thise exhibit. These accounts were used to recreate outfits worn during the assaults. (Source)  The installation has since gained popularity and been adapted and displayed at universities and institutions across the country, especially during the month of April for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Exhibits are popping up globally, from Belgium to James Madison University, bringing light to the fact that being raped has nothing to do with what kind of clothes you were wearing.

Dresses, athletic wear, business attire…”What were you wearing?” These exhibits across the world are debunking the widely supported myth that somehow being raped has something to do with what the victim chose to wear that day. The exhibit hopes to make one simple, yet important rebuttal: Women are not to blame for “provoking” sexual assault. It does so by showcasing that people wearing everyday clothes, like jeans and a t-shirt, are still sexually assaulted. “We want to destroy the stereotypes about rape culture with this exhibit,” says Yasmina El Moutouk, a project manager at Molenbeek’s social services. “We all have jeans and t-shirts in our wardrobe and the most important thing is we are free to wear what we want.” (Source)

These installations come in the wake of the #MeToo movement where women across the globe have come forward with their stories of sexual assault and abuse. The powerful reckoning on sexual assault, sparked by the toppling of the infamous Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, has taken down powerful men in a range of industries as stories of their assaults or harassment have emerged. (Source) “For too long, survivors of sexual assault and harassment have been in the shadows. We have been afraid to speak up, to say ‘Me Too’ and seek accountability. For many, the consequences of doing so have been devastating,” said Tarana Burke, founder of the #MeToo movement. The “What were you wearing?” exhibits have inspired many victims to come forward about their sexual assault. According to Me Too, 17,700,000 women have reported a sexual assault since 1998, this does not account for the incidents of sexual assault that go unreported every year because of the fear of being ridiculed, judged, or asked that dreadful question, “Well, what were you wearing?”.

“We need a complete cultural transformation if we are to eradicate sexual assault in our lifetimes. It means we must build our families differently, engage our communities and confront some of our long-held assumptions about ourselves. Today’s announcement is an opportunity for all of us to take a hard look in the mirror and answer the question:

“When you hear #MeToo, will you stand up to say #NoMore?” -Tarana Burke