I believe in soulmates. A soulmate connection is a feeling like no other. In life, you realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you it’s worth it.

In June 1970 my grandparents met. They were from the same village in their home country of Montenegro, then Yugoslavia. My grandfather, Palja, was in the Yugoslavian army special forces from the time he was a teenager to his twenties. When he returned home from serving, he knew he had to get married, so his parents set up an arranged marriage. He met my grandmother Lezja the day of their engagement, the second he saw her he was in love. Enamored by her beautiful green eyes and infectious smile, he knew this woman would be the love of his life. As they grew to know each other he only fell more and more in love. They complemented one another in the best ways possible and still do and connected on such a deep level far beyond just romantically.

After just a month of being engaged they traveled Europe for months, eventually finding themselves living in Italy for three years. They eventually moved to America and got married in July of 1974. They lived in a small apartment in New York in the South Bronx and had my mother in 1976. They were infatuated with her, she was the product of their love for each other.

Coming to America they did not have much money, my grandfather worked tirelessly as an electrician and was rarely home. The first few years in America were difficult for them, they had no money and could barely afford their rent. Despite this my grandmother continued to push my grandfather, she wanted him to be the best possible version of himself and to become what he wanted most to be: successful. Every word she spoke, every piece of advice she gave was so he could achieve his goals. Because she pushed him and motivated him with her words, wisdom, and love, he ended up achieving his goals.

Now, my grandparents have three children, seven grandchildren, and are as happy as ever 50 years later. They share an unspoken, unexplainable bond that holds the two of them together where they’re happy and the best versions of themselves, knowing they were always meant to be together. It is easy to tell their love for each other has never faded, they way my grandfather looks at her and watches her in such an adoring way proves this. He always says, “Kad je vidim, kao prvi put”, meaning “when I see her, its like the first time”.

A soulmate is someone you connect with in a way that is deeper than you thought possible. You connect with them in a way that is romantic, but also strongly emotional. And this connection is far deeper than any connection you’ve had with anyone else. A soulmate treats you with kindness and generosity and brings out the best in you. A soulmate is more than just a person who shares a certain percentage of things in common with you. In fact, a soulmate may not even have a lot in common with you, but you nonetheless are right for each other. It’s an unspoken, unexplainable bond that holds the two of you together where you’re happy and the best versions of yourselves. You know that it just feels right to be together. Finding your soulmate is deeper than making a checklist of traits you like in someone and seeing if someone meets it. It’s hard to define, but you know it when you see and feel it.