I recently completed reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In – Women, Work and the Will to Lead. As a woman dedicated to balancing her professional career and marriage, I was captivated by the insights and advice Ms. Sandberg explores in her book.
She presented several major themes throughout her book that struck a chord with me:
– While today’s Millennial women strive for success in a high-paying career or profession as an integral part of their lives, they fail to describe themselves as leaders, visionaries, self-confident, or willing to take risks. Ms. Sandberg suggests that while professional ambition is expected of men, it is oftentimes viewed as optional, or in some cases a negative, for women. She explains, “men are continually applauded for being ambitions and powerful and successful, but women who display these same traits often pay a social penalty. Aggressive women violate unwritten rules about acceptable social conduct.”
– Women often feel fraudulent when praised for their accomplishments. Coined “imposter syndrome,” this scenario of capable people being plagued by self-doubt is largely felt by woman as we consistently underestimate ourselves. Ms. Sandberg explains, “ask a man to explain his success and he will typically credit his own innate qualities and skills. Ask a woman the same questions and she will attribute her success to external factors.”
– Heidi vs. Howard – an examination of success and likeability. Ms. Sandberg shared the following case study in the examination of differences in gender perceptions. In 2003, Columbia Business School professor Frank Flynn and New York University Professor Cameron Anderson ran an experiment to test perceptions of men and women in the workplace. They shared a case study whereby a real-life entrepreneur, Heidi Roizen, became a successful venture capitalizing by using her “outgoing personality…and vast personal and professional network that included many of the most powerful business leaders in the technology sector. The professors assigned half of the students to read Heidi’s story and gave the other half of the students the same story, but changed Heidi’s name to Howard. While the students rated Heidi and Howard as equally competent, Howard ultimately came across as the more appealing colleague. Heidi was seen as selfish and not “the type of person you would want to hire or work for.”
– Authentic communication is a key to good leadership. Ms. Sandberg suggests that to seek and speak the truth you must be open to both hearing the truth and taking responsibility for mistakes. It’s also important to recognize that miscommunication is always a two-way street. One way to foster authentic communication is to speak openly about your own weaknesses and when people are honest and open in return, than them publicly to encourage others to do the same.
– Finally, to “have it all” – women have to respect and support one another, both in and out of the workplace. While we can be one another’s biggest advocates, we can also be each other’s biggest enemies. No matter what choice a woman makes – to be a leader in the work place, home or both – we must continue to advocate for one another and work together to close the leadership gap.