In my previous blogs, I have discussed identity a couple of times. I’ve mentioned my frustration with not knowing where exactly I come from and “picking” a side to identify with, but nothing frustrates me more than when people try and to deny my background. They do not believe that I am mixed with different backgrounds because I don’t look mixed enough.

What does that even mean?

Basically, those who claim that I am not mixed enough are trying to say that I don’t fit the criteria of a mixed individual. In their eyes a mixed person must have an exotic eye color, really fair skin, and hair that is super curly.

There is no set standard for what a mixed person looks like. The general public just automatically creates this image and if you don’t fit into their description, then you’re not mixed. WHAAAAT ? Seriously one the dumbest things I have ever heard. How is another person, who probably barely even knows me, going to tell me that I am not mixed because I don’t look like this:

Due to genetics, each individual is different, therefore, NOT ALL MIXED KIDS LOOK THE SAME!!

I swear it is so difficult dealing with people who claim they know everything about mixed people. And it gets even worse when they try to define your nationality. Excuse me? Who are you to tell me who I am or who I am not. I’ll wait …

Hopefully one day, people will become more educated about genetics and the make up of an individual. Until then, many people, not just mixed people will have to deal with the stupid comments. We will continue to have to defend who we are in order for people to fully understand and not make judgements. In some aspects it builds character and patience. I say this because it takes a great amount of strength to not completely slap the shit out of someone when they make a claim about your ethnic background. I’ve learned to hold my tongue in these situations, or else I will just end up in trouble that I could’ve easily avoided. As I hold my tongue, I can only hope that people learn from my response. They should learn to not judge a book by its cover. They should also learn how to address people in the proper tone. When one says something offensive,unintentionally; how they say it can make it seem so much worse than it really is. Like my mom always says when I give her “attitude”, ” Its not what you say, its HOW you say it”. Some people really do not understand that their words do hurt. Its as though they are saying I don’t fit into this specific category, so I am an outcast. No one wants to feel as though they are excluded from a group. Luckily I have developed a strong backbone when it comes to this stuff, so it doesn’t really bother me anymore. However, just because it doesn’t bother me doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother other people.

Hopefully one day everyone will be able to accept everyone for who they are and not make people feel uncomfortable. Until then, I remain flawless just as I am. *Beyoncé voice*

” I woke up like dis” -Beyoncé