In paraphrasing Managing Cultural Differences (2014), communication across countries, languages, religious beliefs, genders and time zones is difficult and requires a special set of behaviors to be done so effectively. Over the last three years, a white, Anglo-Saxon, Christian, Female has built a solid business relationship with a Muslim, Male who lives in Malaysia. So, how is it possible that two people from such divergent backgrounds are able to go from “Hello” to a trusted business partnership?
It began by checking out each others pedigree. Did they really have what they said they had? Could they do what they said they could do? Are they who they say they are and do they really know the people with power or are they just another also-ran?
As all of our negotiations and conversations have been held over FaceTime at 9 AM EST and 9PM EST as Malaysia is 12 hours ahead of the US East Coast. The key to growing our understanding and respect for each other has been utilizing active listening, Managing Cultural Differences (2014). At first, I was unsure of his English as I certainly did not speak Malaysian. After he spoke, I would repeat what I thought I heard and then add the meaning behind what I thought I heard him say and vice a versa. Once we had a common understanding of language, we were able to take our positive attitude toward one another and begin to trust each another.
Over the next year and a half, the process of closing our transaction slowed and there were times of testing as to whether I was telling the truth or speaking like any other broker as opposed to a principal in a transaction. This caused me to have some hard conversations with him about the status of the market and what was a realistic time-frame for the conclusion of one of our ventures. It was however, through this testing that he knew he could trust me to always tell him the truth and not fill his ears with “broker talk.” This cemented our business friendship.
Now, I am his first choice to do business with and unless I cannot meat the criteria or the deadline, he will choose to work exclusively with me and my team. I look forward to the day that I am able to meet him face to face and walk through Malaysia with my head uncovered and under his protection as a businesswoman and treated with the respect of my profession and not my gender.
It is with respect, humility, honesty and hard work that one can successfully communicate with an individual or group from a divergent culture. It is the foundation that has been laid down properly, that gives you permission to negotiate. This allows you to look forward to a long and prosperous business relationship.
Moran, R. T., Phd., Abramson, N. R., Phd., & Moran, S. V., MA. (2014). Managing Cultural Differences (9th ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.
Thank you for your generous comment. All of the Active Listening, taking our time to be certain we understood each other layered with respect absolutely led to satisfying results. I am happy to be able to call him friend.
Once again this is a great example by how one can transcend the culture differences by applying techniques of active listening, focusing on similarities and approaching any interaction with the sense of respect towards a representative of different culture. This is setting the stage for success in any communication.