Which one causes the other?

Being a kid of color but not really knowing it until later in my youth was an eye opening experience to say the least. I have random memories sometimes, which are a collage of pictures and videos that are jumbled in my mind. I remember some childhood friends. I remember some shenanigans I got into here and there while growing up, but ask me who my 5^th grade teacher was, or how my 13^th birthday was and I have no idea. I say all this to say that as we begin to delve into our studies and read our lesson commentary, I try to relate to what we learn through an unbiased eye, through an open minded perspective of the world around me. But I have come to realize that instead of pushing my biased aside I must acknowledge it, think about how it affects my thoughts and decisions and then act accordingly. So, as I go back in my youth trying to think about how I was treated as a kid and what I come up with is that I don’t remember much. What I do remember and thinking about it now as an adult, is that all the way up until around middle school I didn’t really know what the significance of being a minority was. I didn’t realize there was an internal secret war going on between societies, groups, and intra-groups etc.

There was an article in the New York Times written by Maria Russo interviewing a couple of Latina friends, R.J Palacio and Meg Medina. They were from the “Bronx” and were childhood friends who went to school together. They were separated at the age of 11 with one of them moving resulting in them losing touch. They both ended up being adult children book writers and later in life meet up with one another. Ms. Russo somehow ended up interviewing them. The main theme taken from this interview was that the environment proved to be a huge catalyst in the way these two approached their writing of children’s books. They both had respectively earned a good living in their profession and genuinely cared about the youth but because they ultimately grew up in different environments they handled ethnic issues differently and identified to their culture differently as well. They were similar on the surface but at a deep level of diversity they were very different. Palacio was quoted saying “I very much consider myself Latin American but I have never identified as a Latina, if that makes sense.” (M. Russo NYTimes 2017)

It wasn’t until middle school that I started feeling my Mexican(ism). We didn’t have a middle school per say in our community so we were bussed a few miles down the road and this is where I started to experience things outside my community. Clicks started to form. Rich White kids were part of the demographic. This was about the time I started to see and hear racial slurs and racist rhetoric. Gangs were a big thing during my time where I grew up. I remember right around this time I started to become introverted and rebellious. I don’t remember if there was one particular reason but I know that I started physically and emotionally building walls and protecting myself from all the hate and meanness around me. I became more aware and in tune with my culture. I started to hang out with people that looked like me.

I read our lesson and came across Surface Level Diversity, which are the characteristics we can notice about each other that distinguish us and Deep Level Diversity, which are the differences in beliefs, values and attitudes etc., that affect much more directly how a person behaves, (PSU WC L3 2017). I started to think about this subject as it related to me and how I felt growing up. According to our lesson deep level diversity can change sometimes based on surface level experience, (PSU WC LS 2017). I know deep down inside this was my case but did others see it this way? Did others just see another Mexican kid running around in a “gang” acting the way a poor Mexican does? Getting together with his kind and causing havoc. Or did they see me as a product of my environment. I am glad that this is a part of my past but it is scary to think that if I didn’t learn later on in life that things aren’t always what they seem and we can evolve, what could have been my path in life.

References:

PSU (2016) Lesson 1 Introduction to global context. Retrieved August 25, 2016 from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1802572/modules/items/2117904

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/20/books/review/rj-palacio-and-meg-medina-talk-diversity-and-childrens-books