Errors in communication is something that happens within friendships, romantic relationships, workplace interactions and pretty much every other interaction we have with another human. And that’s why it’s so important to try to avoid these errors and be as clear as possible.Based on the referenced Kruger, Epley, Parker and Ng 2005 study from our reading, sending emails and how well tone was denoted in those emails wasn’t always as clear as we think it is. Luckily though, this type of miscommunication isn’t common outside the workplace; can you imagine having as much written communication with a romantic partner as you do with a colleague? The even finer nuances of navigating a romantic relationship could be completely misconstrued. Although I guess with the influx of texting, that still happens – thank goodness for emojis!
All that being said, egocentrism, or the ability to take on a different perspective, is one of the main issues with communication and can occur whether it be over anticipating how well you can interpret an email or a verbal conversation. In addition to egocentrism, there are a few common errors in communication that can occur in ANY type of relationship:
- Unclear Language: using words like “always” or “never” tells the listener that the speaker is over assuming and could even be condescending by talking about them as facts. Instead using the phrase, “It feels like…” better tells the story that what you are about to say is your opinion only.
- Mismatched Cues: this occurs when say, your body language and the verbal cues you are giving do not match. It would be like saying “thanks you so much for picking me up from school” but with a big frown on your face while saying it.
- Poor Listening: There is a such thing as “active listening”. Being able to pay attention to the person you are interacting with is as important as being a clear communicator as well.
Citations:
3 Communication Errors We Make All the Time & How To Fix Them
https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-communication-errors-we-make-all-the-time-how-to-fix-them/
First of all, I love the cartoon you used. It is perfect!
I enjoyed reading your take on some of the common errors in communication that can occur in relationship. Unclear language can cause tremendous problems in both work and personal relationships. Statements like “you are always at work” or “you never pay attention to me” can make any problem worse. You are correct in offering the solution that uses a phrase such as “It feels like {enter feelings}” can be a better way to tell a loved one how you feel. Combined with active listening where the listener tries to demonstrate that he/she understands, the relationship has a much better chance of being positive.
Thank you for your post!
Hello
I enjoyed reading this blog and it resonated with me as I recently did a train the trainer course for soft skills for leaders and we had a entire section on communication, particularly active listening. Active listening to me is the way you interrupt the communication that is going on between the individual(s) and yourself. You can reflect the communication by noting verbal and non verbal cure, reinforcing the key points of the conversation, getting clarification of the issues and highlighting the expectations. Listening is one of the key components to communication, in any relationship; both business and personal. Communication has gotten a bit skewed with the use of texting, email and even using emojis. Sometimes it is easy to hid behind a text or email rather than actually speaking face to face and now that we deal on a global level, you have intercultural concerns as well. Being cognizant is a key point of active listening, understanding that silence is not always a bad sign and listening to those non verbal cues are just as important (if not more at times), as the verbal cues..
You mention three attributes that lead to communication error, all of these can be eliminated if active listening is put into place. Having a positive attitude, proper eye contact, if appropriate, avoiding distractions, focusing on the person(s) and then having that positive reinforcement that you indeed were listening is essentail, clarifying, questioning, remembering, reflecting and summarizing, will tell the individual(s) that you truly care and took the time to listen to their concerns, thus eliminating egocentrism.
Regards
Deb Kurtz
References:
Moran, R., Abramson, N., Moran, S., (2014) Managing Cultural Differences. Rutledge. New York, New York.
2011-2018, (. C. (n.d.). Active Listening. Retrieved from https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/active-listening.html
You are right, it is so easy for errors to occur in communication. Communication is the single most important part of our work life and also our personal lives. Without good communication, we will never have a solid foundation. That being said, active listening is the pulse of communication. If you are not actively listening than you are not being present or mindful and chances are, you will struggle to be an active participant in that communication. By making sure you are present in a conversation, there is a better chance that errors will not happen. One thing that I like to do, especially when I am unclear on something is to make sure I ask questions during the conversation. It helps to keep me engaged and actively participating in the conversation.
When we are talking about egocentrism, I think it is important that we are able to view someone else’s perspective through our own eyes. If we only think our perspective is correct, there is no way that we will ever be truly successful. Teamwork is important and someone with an egocentric personality can be very disruptive and destructive to the team. Have you experienced this before, first hand?
What do you think personally is your biggest error in communication? I mean, let’s face it, we aren’t all great at communicating. Sometimes I feel like I struggle with active listening in certain situations where I feel like I already know the answer and then I realize I am in trouble when that is not the situation.