When we talk about whether a culture is more masculine or feminine, my mind immediately wants to take on sexism. If I hear about a “masculine culture” I imagine women as veritable slave labor in their homes, and I imagine scenarios in which men do not do the most basic things for themselves, yet they are considered superior to their uterus-bearing counterparts. I want to ask questions like, “Why can’t he make dinner? Is he lacking thumbs?” and, “He can’t do the laundry? Why not? He can’t figure out how to work the machines?”
I recently attended a wedding, here in America. It was officiated by a pastor who told us – the guests, wedding party, bride and groom – that he was going to give us the secret to a happy marriage. I was sure he was going to talk about respect, communication, and love. Instead he told us ladies to “remember you were made second,” as he discussed the creation story in Genesis. He told a joke, then: “Men, one thing to remember. Always hold your wife’s hand. Keep her close. Because if you don’t . . . she’s going to go shopping!”
Sigh. I sat in that crowd, a female CEO, and I bit my tongue. I do like to go shopping . . . but now, having heard him speak, I’d never let that pastor know. Because, yeah, I like Pottery Barn and Nordstrom Rack, but I also run a sixty-year-old, statewide organization. I thank God every day my husband has thumbs, and knows how to use machines, because he rivals any professional chef in the kitchen. He’s a better cook than I am, even though I have the uterus. He keeps the laundry done for our family of seven, and it’s not because he’s lesser: he has a career, a Master’s Degree, and a full beard. He sees nothing wrong with pulling his weight in the home where he lives. I thank God every day I am married to a man who has never treated me as though the Genesis story means I should remember my place, because I was made second. (You know, in Genesis, all the animals were made before man . . . but I digress.)
There is proof all around us that sexism is alive and well all over the world, and even here in America, women feel the brunt of it on a regular basis. That wedding story is just one small illustration. When I hear a culture is “masculine” I will admit, my heckles go up. I have nothing against men – men in leadership, men in charge, men at the helm – as long as those men have nothing against women – women in leadership, women in charge, women at the helm. It appears we humans all have intelligence, capacity, ability, gifts, talents, drive, ambition, and something to give to the world and our fellow humans.
So when I read Hofstede’s definition of “Masculine” as it relates to culture, I was pretty surprised to know we weren’t talking about ratios of male to female leaders, or pay equity, or perceptions of women in the workplace, although those things matter A LOT. Hofstede (n.d.) says, “A high score (Masculine) on this dimension indicates that the society will be driven by competition, achievement and success, with success being defined by the winner / best in field – a value system that starts in school and continues throughout organisational life. A low score (Feminine) on the dimension means that the dominant values in society are caring for others and quality of life. A Feminine society is one where quality of life is the sign of success and standing out from the crowd is not admirable. The fundamental issue here is what motivates people, wanting to be the best (Masculine) or liking what you do (Feminine).”
I suppose we could still call this sexist. Masculine = competitive, driven by achievement and success, and Feminine = conforming (not standing out from the crowd), focusing on caring for others and quality of life. These definitions are inherently sexist, yes. BUT. But. When Hofstede says a culture is Masculine, that just means the culture is ambitious, and driven. If Hofstede says a culture is Feminine, that just means the culture is more focused on quality of life. So . . . I can appreciate that we’re looking at (stereotypical) perspectives that help identify an overall attitude, rather than boxes all females and all males must enter, and labels they must wear.
When I looked at two major nations in the East, India and China, and compared them with the United States, the Mother of all Western Nations, I was really surprised to see that the scores in the Masculine dimension were very close. On Hofstede’s Insights, the United States scored a 62, while India scored a 56 and China, a 66. The three very different nations were within a ten-point spread. All three are scored just over the middle, with a relative balance between the Masculine and Feminine.
I am guessing brides in China and India have to endure sexist jokes at their expense, and the assertion that they are lesser because of their anatomy. I wonder if husbands endure jokes and put downs if they do the laundry, or cook dinner, or run a vacuum, or have a wife who is a CEO. I hope not . . . I don’t wish those things on any brides, grooms, husbands, wives, on any women, men, or the young, developing women and men we’re raising. My daughter heard that nonsense from the pastor’s mouth at the wedding. No matter. We congratulated our friend, the bride, and had cake, and went home. Once there, I prepared materials for a board meeting. My daughter stripped off her pretty dress and put on jeans, and went outside to play basketball with her brothers.
We are each part of defining our culture, shaping it, choosing what we accept and what we reject. I am happy to see that China and India appear to be balancing Masculine and Feminine. Our score in America says we’re doing the same, and I see evidence of that every day in my home, and in my office . . . now if we can continue to see it grow as people become more educated, we will all benefit.
And for me, right now? I’m heading off to bed – the bed my husband made this morning – and tomorrow I’ll wake up and enjoy breakfast that he made. I will thank him solidly, because he is both my best friend and biggest champion. Maybe afterward, I’ll go do some shopping . . . don’t tell the pastor . . . I think he’ll take it as confirmation that he was right about women all along.
References
Hofstede, G. (n.d). Insights. Retrieved October 28, 2018 from https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/china,india,the-usa/
Great post! I totally thought the same thing when I first saw masculine and feminine categories. And yes, even when reading the definitions it still holds a bit of sexism but I think that is just how society has made it. I believe that we have to take that power back. There is nothing wrong with femininity being associated with quality of life and caring for others, just as masculinity is being associated with competition, achievement and success. I think for too long women were looked at weak or less than in comparison to men so we have lost what makes us women and now we don’t want to be labeled by those names anymore. I am proud to be a woman who holds those characteristics because I believe that God made men and women both with unique characteristics to live out our unique purposes. Not one weaker or inferior to the other but as equal mates. I think as a society we have lost who we are as women and men because of the negative connotation behind those words. I think its time to reclaim those words.
Again great job on your post!