For most women, barriers and impediments often create obstacles in the pursuit of success and power in the workplace (Muchinsky & Culbertson, 2016). Yet, in this era of global business, organizational success is critically dependent on “collaboration with others and building strong relationships,” both male and female (Muchinsky & Culbertson, 2016, p. 419). It’s time to break down the barriers and change the scarcity of females in high level positions. In this post, I will examine a major impediment, the work and family balance that many women face, and I’ll demonstrate my view that a professional career and motherhood can coexist together, supported by personal experience as well as scholarly research.
Balancing work and family has been a long-standing challenge for women, and an increasing challenge for men, as parenting responsibilities are becoming more nebulous. In our society, work-family balance, that is “the degree to which an individual is able to simultaneously balance the temporal, emotional, and behavioral demands of both paid work and family responsibilities,” is not principally supported by the United States government as it is in other countries (Moran, Abramson, & Moran, 2014, p. 153). Sweden, for example, has policies that provide subsidized childcare programs and required parental leave which, for starters, would reduce a professional’s concern about competition, as many professionals in Western societies are afraid to take time off for vacation, let alone months for maternity (or paternity) leave (Moran et al., 2014). In the United States, the responsibility of aiding workers with work-family balance is the responsibility of individual employers and unfortunately, employers often feel that “it is not their responsibility but the families” to find that balance, financially or otherwise (Moran et al., 2014, p. 155). In 1993, the United States established the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) which allows both men and women to take time away from work to care for a loved one without the risk of job loss (Moran et al., 2014). Though FMLA has significant benefits, it does not help in creating a balance, it creates a decision, a one-versus-the-other choice.
Let’s consider for a moment the women who choose to grow their career and grow their family. These women face a juggling act, needing to possess [admirable] skills required to efficiently plan and execute the daily tasks of work and family, with competencies in prioritizing, multitasking, and decision-making (Moran et al., 2014). Unfortunately, when cultural norms still promote traditional models of “parenthood,” work related prejudice and stigmas will run amuck (Moran, Abramson, & Moran, 2014, p. 153). Gender differences in leadership is cultural (Muchinsky & Culbertson, 2016). For example, the agentic or male gender role is viewed as “competent, aggressive, independent, decisive and forceful,” whereas the communal or female gender role is “to be kind, concerned, and sympathetic to the needs of others” (Muchinsky & Culbertson, 2016, p. 419). As a professional woman and a single mother of two children, I say women can – and should – develop quality traits from both gender roles, not just those that have been imposed upon us.
I’ll be the first one to have a heart-to-heart with my child or my team member, but I’m also known for being decisive in my home and at my office – after all, time is a luxury when you have two jobs to do. I’ve also learned to titrate my work ambitions with the needs of my children at certain stages of their development, and I’ve made the existence of both work and home cohesive, as they are clearly interdependent in my life. I believe in the Chinese perspective that “work is seen as having a long-term benefit for the family” (Moran et al., 2014, p. 154).
Getting to this point in my life hasn’t come without help. Having a mentor or sponsor is crucial in a woman’s pursuit to be successful at work and at home. Mentorship is related to “both objective career outcomes, including advancement into management positions, and subjective career outcomes, such as career satisfaction” (Hideg & Shen, 2019, p. 290). Look around your organization and identify people that you admire (with similar circumstances), that seem to be further down the path than you are. Try asking them how they managed the demands of work and family in order to get to this point in their career. You might remind them of their younger-self and your inquiry might also remind them of the great progress they’ve made (just like you will). Without a doubt, my employer has served as my mentor and we have a very complimentary relationship. She is 20 years my senior and has raised four children while working full-time; her guidance and direction has been priceless, and without her support, I would not be where I’m at today.
This dual role of mother and professional takes dedication and quite a bit of grit. As the employee, you’ll benefit by learning that you’re more competent than you know, and that you’re able to take on unexpected challenges. Your employer will benefit by gaining your loyalty for accommodating your family life, they will retain your talent by being understanding of the times that home demands are heavier than work ones, and they’ll have a happy employee which will lead to better work outcomes. I’ve realized that real happiness comes from the things that people are passionate about, not the things they do because they’re expected to do them. I am driven to be successful, but I am passionate about being a good mom.
I challenge all of my fellow moms to seek advancement opportunities, leaving any self-limiting behavior by the wayside (Sartore & Cunningham, 2007, p. 259). There appears to be “no empirical basis for the disproportionately small representation of women in top leadership jobs in the United States,” so break through that glass ceiling and join the predominantly male leaders of our global society (Muchinsky & Culbertson, 2016, p. 419). The world – and your children who will learn from your example – will thank you!
References:
Elias, E. (2018). Lessons learned from women in leadership positions: How working women can survive and thrive. Work (Reading, Mass.), 59(2), 175-181. doi:10.3233/WOR-172675
Hideg, I., & Shen, W. (2019). Why still so few? A theoretical model of the role of benevolent sexism and career support in the continued underrepresentation of women in leadership positions. Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies, 26(3), 287-303. doi:10.1177/1548051819849006
Maürtin-Cairncross, A. (2014). Feeling ‘Pushed’ but ‘Clinging on’: Juxtaposing the perceived barriers and support strategies used by women in leadership positions in south african universities. Mediterranean Journal of Social Sciences, 5(8) doi:10.5901/mjss.2014.v5n8p558
Moran, R. T., Abramson, N. R., & Moran, S. V. (2014). Managing cultural differences (9th ed.). NY: Routledge.
Muchinsky, P.M. & Culbertson, S.S. (2016). Psychology applied to work: An introduction to industrial and organizational psychology (11th ed.). Summerfield, NC: Hypergraphic Press.
O’Brien, D. J., & Wegren, S. K. (2015). The underrepresentation of women in leadership positions in rural russia: The underrepresentation of women. Rural Sociology, 80(1), 86-107. doi:10.1111/ruso.12053
Sartore, M. L., & Cunningham, G. B. (2007). Explaining the under-representation of women in leadership positions of sport organizations: A symbolic interactionist perspective. Quest (National Association for Kinesiology in Higher Education), 59(2), 244-265. doi:10.1080/00336297.2007.10483551
Great post! I’m also a full-time working mother with two kids that are 17 and 13 years old. I’ve been working and going to school their entire lives and I’m finally graduating in the Spring (the same time as my son graduates high school). It’s been a really long road, but well worth it because this journey has taught me more than I could have ever conceived. I can completely relate to your post as a full-time working mom because I have grown my career exactly how you describe and it’s taken me this long to graduate college because I had to delicately balance home/kids, work and school. The only way for me to “juggle” as your title suggests, without compromising any of these three very important things in my life, was through careful time management and a lot of support from family, managers and especially my mentors.
The last 20 years of my career has been in Finance and in my experience, it has been a male dominated industry at least in terms of organizational leadership. All of my managers have been male which wasn’t a bad thing, because most of them had wives that worked so they had some understanding of the plight of full-time working moms. However, I did find it difficult to lean on them for career guidance because their reliance on me as a resource created sort of bias in not wanting me to develop then leave their group. So I sought other avenues such as women networks and mentorship as you describe in your post. There are countless articles on the advantages of networking and mentorship, but I thought an article in the British Journal of Management summed it up well, “Organizational career development initiatives, such as mentoring and women’s networks, [have] been hailed as a means by which women can actively facilitate their career progression” (Hersby, Ryan & Jetten, 2009).I found this statement to be very true especially in a male dominated industry.
It was through mentorship with people I admired and aspired to emulate, that I was able to navigate the stress of difficult work situations and the stresses of difficult situations and challenges at home. My mentors shared their stories and lesson learned with me which provided a different perspective for me to customize and apply as my own. One suggestion that was made to me when dealing with a very combative, defensive and rude manager, was to shift my thinking to help manage the relationship, avoid confrontation and keep focus on the work objective. The advice suggested that instead of labeling the manager as an instant ‘jerk’ or engaging in the combat, which could inflame the situation, I should image that the manager had just heard some terrible news about their family member such as their wife or mother. The intention was to create a feeling of empathy that would help me communicate and respond dispassionately and diffuse any anger. This approach worked great and improved my relationship with the manager greatly. My empathetic approach instantly disarmed him and we were able to achieve many objectives together. I have taken this advise with me through-out my career and have made it my mode of operating which has helped me develop my career over the years.
Hersby, M. D., Ryan, M. K., & Jetten, J. (2009). Getting together to get ahead: the impact of social structure on women’s networking. British Journal of Management, 20(4), 415-430.