This lesson provided me with much insight as I seek to become a well-rounded global leader. The readings touched on a few foundational items including intercultural communication (pg.41), nonverbal communication (pg.43) and guidelines for intercultural communication (pg. 51). All very insightful, however, for this post, I would like to dive into a key trait that is integral to effective leadership; listening, specifically active listening, is a critical skill that must be top of mind in both professional and personal settings. It is a skill that will make you more impactful as a leader and as a member of society.
In my opinion, in order to successfully execute active listening skills you must first acquire two traits that a great leader must have, empathy and perspective (Sinek 2017). Sinek goes on to describe that a leader’s real job is not about being “in charge” but instead it is to take care of those “in our charge”. He further explains that empathy is being concerned about the human being you are over not just their performance output. I highlight this video presentation because it demonstrates how critical this basic human trait is to leadership. When you consider cultural leadership, you are potentially leading a diverse group, there are various aspects you must take into consideration as every decision you make or action you take is a piece of communication to all others. Therefore, you must authentically show people that you care about them, as this will build trust. As a leader, you can demonstrate active listening all you want but if your employee doesn’t feel like you have their best interests at heart, you will not be able to influence them. “When you listen in a way that makes the other person feel heard, they are more likely to share information with you. And when you are actively listening, you are also more likely to take it in” ((israel 2020).
Let’s have some fun and take 2 minutes to watch active listening in action (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_dAkDsBQyk). Now that we understand how important active listening is, we can take a look at some negative forms of active listening. Polite Listening, Defensive Listening and Offensive Listening (pg. 40). I believe we are all guilty of Polite Listening at some point. This situation arises when communicating with another party and you are already thinking about what you are going to say before they are don’t speaking. Defensive Listening is a fun one; I have encountered this situation at work many times and I am guilty of mentally dissecting arguments, taking note so that I have ammo in my rebuttal (meant to discredit their points in efforts to maintain your own position on the matter). It is also common when dating and you are having an argument (when I was younger of course, not now that I am married *insert smirk). Offensive Listening is a bit more of an on-the-attack negative form of active listening. In this form, you are actively looking for ways to trip up the other party’s own words/position. Again, you can clearly see how you can fall into these traps if you don’t exhibit empathy as you fall victim to egocentrism.
In summary, in order for a leader to effectively influence, he/she must be able to empathize as that allows them to view the world from other perspective and avoid egocentrism. In addition, the leader must master proper active listening skills and avoid common pitfalls as the intent is to build trust which can be very challenging when dealing with varying cultural differences that they are not used to. These skills will not only benefit the leader professionally but will also help personal relationships as these traits are extremely beneficial.
References
- Moran, Abramson, & Moran (2014). Managing Cultural Differences (9th Edition)
- Sinek, Simon (2017). Empathy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJyNoJCAuzA&list=PLbVAeYVYH_aHOEhfpCIhisClfuMeqBhgE
- Israel, Tania (2020). How to listen- really listen-to someone you don’t agree with. https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-listen-really-listen-to-someone-you-dont-agree-with/
mph6053 says
I had to comment on your post as soon as I saw you quote Simon Sinek, who has inspired my own journey to become a more effective leader. I agree with Sinek that being a leader is not about being in charge but taking care of those in our charge, or being authentic which will instill trust in followers. Your segue into active listening was effective as you captured my interest with the video from Big Bang Theory on active listening.
Interestingly, your blog post coincides with another course I am taking in which the week’s lesson was listening like a leader. Gamble and Gamble (2013) suggest that listening is situational and there are four styles that leaders will exhibit based on the situation. Most similar to active listening is the people-centered style which finds the listener using skills to focus on the emotions and feelings of the speaker in an effort to find commonalities, relate to the speaker, and if necessary find a compromise (Gamble & Gamble, 2013. p. 107). Like active listening, this is the style that should most often be used.
I found your post to be engaging and thought provoking. Thank you!
Gamble, T.K., & Gamble, M.W. (2013) Leading with Communication: A Practical Approach to Leadership Communication. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.