As PSU students, I know we’re all smart. I like being smart. I like it a lot. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished, and I know that I’ve worked hard for some things, harder than many people may realize. I work hard to try and connect with people, but it’s difficult at times. I miss social cues. I struggle with small talk. At work I think it wastes time, especially when it’s with people who I don’t consider friends.
Smart isn’t everything. That was a really crushing thought to me. When I got my first supervisory position, and subsequent promotions, I thought it was because I was smart. But one of my problems was I hadn’t yet learned that not everyone thought the same way I did, perceived things the same way I did, or learned things as fast as I did. Add to that my after-the-fact realization that my emotional IQ is below norm for those with leadership potential. I made common mistakes that had a counterproductive affect on my success as a leader, such as difficulty communicating with my staff, sharing ideas that were too advanced (Northouse, 2013), solving problems or finding answers too quickly (PSU WC, 2015, M. 2, p. 4).
It took a long time for me to realize that I wasn’t meeting my own expectations because of that. I didn’t know that although intelligence is the best predictor of general job performance, the link between intelligence and leadership is only moderate (PSU WC, 2015, M. 2, p. 4). So once I realized and accepted my primary weaknesses, I’ve had to work on them.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t changed overnight into a gregarious, fun-loving, touchy-feely type person or leader, but I have learned to recognize my weaknesses and my strengths, and to try and focus on how others perceive me. When my company wants an important project to be led with no b.s., no excuses, and done ahead of schedule, they ask me. When they want a sensitive situation handled, I’m not a candidate. And I’m ok with that!
Perhaps social intelligence, particularly my (lack of) social skills, isn’t as important to my success because it may contribute specifically when general intelligence is not as high (PSU WC, 2015, M. 2, p. 4). The good news is that I’ve built a very successful career on my strengths, and while I continue to work on my weaknesses, I’ve stopped apologizing for them, and I’ve stopped feeling bad because I’m not a “perfect” leader.
References
Northouse, P.G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and Practice. Los Angeles: Sage Publications.
Pennsylvania State University World Campus (2015). PSYCH 485, Module 2: Trait Approach. Retrieved from https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/sp15/psych485/001/content/02_lesson/toc.html
Lauren N Padgett says
So much of what you describe resonates deeply with my experience. I value my intelligence above all other my other qualities. Even before Penn State, my parents chose to put me through college preparatory high schools, where intellect reigned supreme. In these circles, I thrive.
However, like you, I am introverted and struggle with social intelligence—though, not for lack of empathy but rather for lack of practice due to my hitherto not finding it to be of any importance. (That’s the INTJ shining through.) Recently though, due to my rising position in a small organization, I’m learning the value in building and maintaining social relationships. While production builds my leaders’ confidence in me, it’s empathy that will gain my followers’ trust.
It’s encouraging to me that you have managed to find both peace with yourself and success in your career with these opposing forces. I’m hoping that I can defeat my perfectionist tendencies and grow into the same sort of balance.
Chandra Leah Allyn says
I happen to think you are very in tune with yourself, and that is such a commendable and useful quality to possess as a leader. Being unapologetic is exactly the attitude to have, particularly because you have so much to celebrate. After all, as you mentioned, you have used your strengths and recognize your weaknesses but do not allow them to limit your success in any way. I really enjoyed your post and your candidness!
Chandra Allyn