In observing my family unit, my four adult children in their twenties, work as a team while accomplishing the task of building a bridge, I observed the same style that had been incorporated when they were school aged. My husband worked away from home a great deal of the time. The children and I always had to adjust our normal routine when he came home. We often felt a strong disruption in the continuity due to the difference of his authoritarian style of leadership, we adjusted all the same. When I had lead the group, there had been a certain amount of democracy directing problem-solving through calm discussion. Openly recognizing strengths of team members while accomplishing tasks, “Michael is the strongest, he should use the come-along to tighten the barbed wire, Kristin has the strongest eye for detail she should mark the placement of the posts, Corby is good at math he should make the list of supplies we need and the associated costs.” While my husband had lead he used a more authoritarian style. There was always a great deal of issues and this lead to disgruntled children and more times than not, the tasks were not accomplished.
And now, as adults, democratic techniques were being used. The initial discussion of the project at hand was followed with the strengths of our team and the assignment of duties. These adults chose the more democratic way of accomplishing their tasks and worked together smoothly relying on each others expertise and leadership which changed depending upon the stage of the tasks and the expertise of the given leader of the particular stage. Male and female interchanged without stereo-typing. When the task had been accomplished, they congratulated one another and were happy with the accomplishment and felt connected to one another with renewed bonds. Observing children who had been exposed to two different leadership styles within two different genders cross the barrier between gender assignments into adulthood was a curious and unique execution in gender assignment evolution.
Northouse (2016) states that there are gender differences in leadership styles and that women “led in a more democratic, or participative manner than men.” I find this to be true in the leadership style in my own family. I find it interesting that as a mother of 3 men and 1 woman, each of them chose the same type of leadership style, democratic and “reward behaviors” while in leadership (Northouse, 2016, p. 402). Perhaps there is not such a difference in gender leadership as much as there is a social facilitation of choosing leadership based on one’s gender assignment.
References
Northouse (2016). Leadership: Theory and practice (7th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, p. 402.
Joshua Stafford says
In our two children my wife and I seem to have fallen into the same predicament as you with her being the more democratic and me being the more authoritarian style. However, I remember my mother being like that with me when I was a child and how much I hated it, how much I despised being told what to do all the time. I have learned a lot from my wife and have watched how much more they seem to grow when her style is used. When strengths are used to build them up with confidence and weakness are not pointed out as weaknesses but opportunities to learn and grow as a person.
One thing I have adopted with my daughter is teaching her she is smart, but not just telling her, I give her examples of how great it was that she thought this way to solve a problem or that she took charge of her fear of heights and climbed to the top anyway. All the while teaching my son that being big and strong like the Hulk is great, but its much greater to use our mind and heart to think of bettering the lives of others than smashing things all the time.
You never realize how much you are going to learn from them as you grow as a parent. The most profound moment was a lesson my daughter taught me just a few weeks ago. I am known for getting tired and then becoming quite crabby at which I micromanage as a parent and can get really grumpy. Anyway, I was putting both her and my son down for a nap and she looked at me and asked, “Daddy, are you sleepy? Have you gotten any sleep?” I told yes, but I was a little bit tired, but not too bad and then I asked why. She said, “Because your being really mean today and your really grumpy, you need to get some rest so your not so grumpy daddy?” It was like someone through boulder at my face and then placed it on my chest.
A change was made that day and I told her to never be afraid to tell me or anyone that they are treating her less than she deserved. Empowering them is the best way to build them up as people that can function in the world.
Kenneth John Dicob says
Thank you for your blog post. What a very thought provoking idea of gender roles and leadership styles. When I think of my own family growing up my dad had a very authoritative leadership style where my mother had a very trait approach to her leadership style. Personally, I think I am a mix of both but is also very much a situational leader.
Much like you mentioned above, as well as Northouse (2016), an authoritative leadership is one which leadership places emphasis on communicating for the purpose of getting a message across not for having a conversation. This was definitely my father’s style. It has much to do with his job which was the Captain of the Police Department but it also had to do with how he expected his wife and children to follow his directives in a nice way. On the other hand, my mother, and her trait leadership, had the most success in her sociability. She found it very important to “seek out pleasant social relationships” (Northouse, 2016) which may be why my mother and father got divorced.
This leads to my leadership style which is situational. This may be part due to my job as Fire Chief and the various situations I am dealt daily but it may also be because I learned that there needed to be another way to lead rather than just being authoritative or using specific traits. Like my father, I like to be directive but like my mother I value others around me. So, it seems like a perfect fit to be a situational leader.
Northouse, Peter G. (2016). Leadership, Theory and Practice, 7th ed. Los
Angeles. Sage Publications.
Amanda Klassen says
Gender differences in Leadership is a very thought-provoking matter in my opinion. There hasn’t been any solid set in stone research about gender making a specific difference about how one chooses to lead. I personally believe that there are other factors that influence how a leader chooses to lead.
I grew up in the same manner of my father being more authoritative and my mother playing the democratic role. I feel that most people tend to feel more uncomfortable when a leader is being more authoritative and barking orders at everyone. Whereas it is much more comfortable when a leader is being democratic and level headed when trying to accomplish a task. I am sure your children probably felt the same way I did seeing the effect of an authoritative leader and that caused them to make the conscious decision to not want to be that kind of individual in the future. I am a strong believer that things that occur during a childhood greatly shapes how we decide we want to portray ourselves as adults no matter what gender we are.
Northouse, P.G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage publications.
Jess says
Another important aspect to think about when discussing gender and leadership is the culture in which you are operating in. According to Hofstede’s (1980) “study of work values”, there are four different cultural dimensions that (40) countries can be categorized under. Hofstede’s study defined the United States as having a highly “individualist” cultural framework; the inverse is known as “collectivist.”
Individualism-Collectivism refers to the way in which interests are either dominated by the individual or the group, and those interests vary by national culture (Thomas, 2014). “Individualism” is defined by an individual being seen as “independent” of the/a group and are primarily concerned with taking care of themselves/ their immediate family; individualists place beliefs in individual decisions; and individualists emphasize “individual initiative and achievement” and believe that “leadership is the ideal” (Hofstede, 1980 p.48). The United States, Great Britain and Australia are all highly individualistic cultures.
On the other hand, “collectivism” is defined as individuals being a part of a group/clan “who protect them in exchange for loyalty” (Hofstede, 1980 p.48). Secondly, collectivists place beliefs in group decisions; and collectivists emphasize belonging to organizations/clans or “groups” and feel that “membership [rather than leadership] is ideal” (Hofstede, 1980 p.48). Countries such as Sweden, Denmark, Japan, China, South Korea and Colombia are highly collectivist cultures (Thomas, 2014).
Now, looking at your situation, I pulled out your leadership functions/styles that you documented. After reading the information that I posted above, and then re-reading the highlights I pulled out, do you feel as if it’s specifically your gender, “messing up” your leadership abilities or is it possible that the U.S. culture does not accept those (gender-less) leadership qualities/skills?
1. “When I had led the group, there had been a certain amount of democracy directing problem-solving through calm discussion […] recognizing strengths of team members while accomplishing tasks”
2. “These adults chose the more democratic way of accomplishing their tasks and worked together smoothly relying on each others expertise and leadership which changed depending upon the stage of the tasks and the expertise of the given leader of the particular stage. ..”
3. “When the task had been accomplished, they congratulated one another and were happy with the accomplishment and felt connected to one another with renewed bonds”
4. “I find it interesting that as a mother of 3 men and 1 woman, each of them chose the same type of leadership style, democratic and “reward behaviors” while in leadership (Northouse, 2016, p. 402).”
5. “Perhaps there is not such a difference in gender leadership as much as there is a social facilitation of choosing leadership based on one’s gender assignment”. <- BOOM.
I’m starting to think that our culture does not support democratic, collectivist, group decision making behaviors as much as we think we’re “fair and democratic”. The U.S. operates within a set of cultural parameters; the U.S. also has implied gender roles for individuals (“men do this and women do that, men are strong women are sensitive”).
Together, the blind assumptions about an individual’s behavior and skills based on sex and socially defined gender roles (specifically in regards to women) COMBINED with the cultural importance of: individual success over group success; individual leadership rather than group/shared leadership and authoritarianism rather than democracy, created a synergistic effect that resulted in a gender role/stereotyping disaster.
This helps explain why women in the U.S. are underrepresented in executive leadership positions.
References:
Hofstede, G. (1980). Motivation, leadership, and organization: Do American theories apply abroad? Organizational dynamics. 9, no. 1: 42-63.
Northouse, P.G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage publications.
Thomas, D., & Lazarova, M. (2014). Essentials of international human resource management. Sage Publications, Inc.
Ivor Lawrence says
Gender Differences in Leadership is an interesting topic to explore because research has been somewhat inconclusive on whether or not there is a true difference between genders. Early research by Alice Eagley and Blair Johnson (1990) indicates that women tend to be democratic/participative whereas men tend to be more autocratic/directive in their leadership style. However, later research by Jon Andersen and Per Hansson (2011) found no significant differences between genders. Furthermore, they determined that other factors, not gender, may actually be influencing how leaders perform (Andersen & Hansson, 2011). One such factor is the type and characteristics of the organization (Andersen & Hansson, 2011). Your family example seems to fully support Andersen & Hansson’s research in that the organization (your family) is what actually determines how each leader (your children) regardless of gender will perform. Since your sons were clearly exposed to your style more frequently while growing up, it makes perfect sense that they would choose to use the same style themselves when they have grown up.
References
Andersen, J. A. & Hansson, P. H. (2011). “At the end of the road? On differences between women and men in leadership behavior.” Leadership and Organization Development Journal, 32 (5), 428-441.
Eagley, A. H. & Johnson, B.T. (1990). “Gender and Leadership Style: A Meta-Analysis.” Psychological Bulletin, 108 (2), 233-256.