In the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the raging, wild sea, was an island inhabited by a creature feared by man and beast alike. With only his sheep to keep him company, this creature ate anyone and anything that dared to land on his island. He did have a preference for satyrs over all else, however…

……

With his one large, glaring eye, Polyphemus surveyed his island as the sun rose on the horizon. “Soon I’ll have to let my sheep out to graze, they’re probably so hungry already, the wee lovelies.” Polyphemus’ eye glanced at the river that divided his island in half. Cliffs stretched fifty feet high on both sides of the river, and from his vantage point on the top of the island he could see the tip of a ship’s mast. The ship had arrived late the night before, while Polyphemus was herding his sheep home, and had not escaped his notice. But since there had been no activity since then, Polyphemus had decided to wait until the next day before investigating.

“Maybe there’ll be lots of men on board for me to snack on! I hope they’re half-bloods, their blood tastes sweeter than a yucky mortal’s. YUM!”

Polyphemus turned to roll the ginormous rock away from the entrance to his cave, which he called his “pretty home”. His sheep came rushing out, bleating and shoving their way to the fields to graze. “Run, my lovelies! Enjoy this beautiful day! We will eat good tonight me thinks. I smell…BLOOD!”

At that moment, several heads appeared on the cliff-side. A dozen men crawled over the edge, lugging their spears and shields on their backs. Their leader stood, took one glance at Polyphemus’ gleaming, single eye in the center of his forehead, and turned to his men. “We’ll have to trick him,” he said, “or else we won’t survive the morn.” He then turned to Polyphemus.

“Greetings, Cyclops! My name is No One, and I come here as a friend. We are Greeks, traveling home from war, and seek food and drink to replenish our stores. Might you extend me the honor due a house-guest and pay tribute to the gods in thanks that we were fortunate to land on your island? For I see you have sheep and goods to spare. Would you consider sharing with us? Then we and our possessions shall be on our way.”

During his speech, Polyphemus had been standing rigid, eye closed, nose upturned, sniffing the air. All of a sudden, he opened his eye and yelled at the travelers, “YOU LIE! You may be Greek, but you are NOT men. My nose never lies. I…smell…SATYR!” He rushed the men, scattering them in all directions. A large club smeared with blood had been resting near the cave entrance, but not swung freely in Polyphemus’ hand. With several particularly loud “thuds”, the club knocked the men onto the ground, knocking off their boots and helmets, exposing hooves and horns.

“YOU LIED TO ME, NO ONE! NO ONE LIED TO ME!” One exposed satyr attempted to escape toward the cliffs while Polyphemus was bellowing, but Polyphemus quickly picked him up and flung him over his shoulder. “You tricked me, No One! Now you all DIE. I will eat you all, starting with this delicious-looking SATYR right here!”

The man-satyr called ‘No One’ acted quickly, grabbing a broken branch off the ground. He jumped onto Polyphemus’ back, causing Polyphemus to stumble. He used this to his advantage, swinging around so that he was hanging off Polyphemus’ neck and looking straight into his eye. “You will NOT eat my friend,” he bleated. “Today, we will all leave here as we came, but you…you will not forget me.” And just as suddenly as he had launched his original attack, ‘No One’ thrust the branch into Polyphemus’ eye, blinding him.

Polyphemus screamed in pain, dropping the satyr on his shoulder. The satyrs/men ran towards the cliffs as Polyphemus stumbled and attempted to follow them by smell alone (His ability to detect smells was always very strong). As they repelled off the cliff, Polyphemus had the last word:

“I SWEAR TO THE GODS ON THE RIVER STYX THAT I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE ON NO ONE!”