“This I believe… rearranging the classroom”
The worst thing about it was the empty chair. I could feel the slumped solace in the school’s atmosphere that day. Crying students, crying teachers, therapy dogs on patrol. The worst thing about it was the empty chair. I believe the teachers should have rearranged the classroom to hide the empty chair. It has a looming effect. The idea of, “that’s his chair” hangs in the classrooms. The day prior, two students were hanging out after school, they had a gun with them and now one of them was dead. As trite as it sounds, both of these kids were strong students and well-liked within the school, there were never any red flags. Guns don’t have warning signs. Everyone’s Snapchat story held the classic 24 hours destructive, slightly insensitive yet well-mannered post, “R.I.P. Ethan”. That day was the most disheveled I’d ever seen our little town bubble. The town fought back incredibly quick, raising over 1 million dollars mostly out of our 22,000 residents. This money went towards gun education and worked towards passing “Ethan’s Law” in Connecticut. No charges were ever leveled to any party, legally it was considered a faultless tragedy. Post-investigation it was determined that the boys didn’t know the gun was loaded. It is a felony to store a loaded firearm, but if the ammo and gun are stored in the same Tupperware container, separated by a cloth, it’s hard to find evidence the gun was stored loaded. Don’t get me wrong, the number of bad decisions you have to make to find yourself in the same situation as those boys is substantial, but somewhere along that line they shouldn’t be faced with a decision. They should be faced with a padlock. I believe the teachers should have rearranged the classroom following this tragedy. The worst thing about it was the empty chair.
(I’m not happy with this, I want to reinforce my position better through explanatory means, also it is not very colloquial atm)
1. The conflict of this piece is the gun issues and the ideal with rearranging the classroom. I thought it was very well structured how you introduced the chair and then brought up the story behind it.
2. Everything arrangement wise to me was pretty good. I even liked the descriptions you use to give that dark feeling
3. I would maybe include how you felt in this situation more, you focused on others Snapchat and the community but how was oscar feeling after the incident with the gun, besides just the chair
4. belief matched up perfectly with the story