Penn State is always in the process of renovating and upgrading buildings around campus. Within the 2019-2020 year alone Penn State was doing some degree of construction on ten residence halls across all five residence areas. Penn State is currently doing either renovations or reconstruction of three teaching spaces. The newest completed project on campus is the 193,000 square foot chemical and biomedical engineering, with a budget of 144 million one would think this lab space would be an environmentally conscious structure. From an environmental perspective, this building maximises its heating efficiency within the space but has minimal retrofitting for sourcing renewable energy or minimising energy usage. The designs are done up for all of Penn State’s construction for the next three years, but one thing is certain, Penn State construction will never stop. Penn State’s next round of construction needs to include the construction of buildings that are more environmentally friendly. It is both economically and environmentally beneficial for Penn State to build and renovate buildings with their environmental affect in mind.
Response to the questions:
1. I think the title does hint at the thesis, although I think that I think that it could be better worded to provide more momentum for the issue. Perhaps a title that focuses more on the shortcomings of Penn State’s construction would help while still capturing the economic and environmental concerns of your issue brief.
2. There’s a hint of exigence in your title and introduction paragraph, and I think it can definitely be brought out more to connect to the pressing issues of climate change and the like. There’s a lot of good information that you’re providing at the moment, and connecting it to urgent issues would help strengthen your brief.
3. Your thesis is definitely argumentative, and I can envision the rest of the issue brief being under the lens of environmental and economic concerns. I do think you can be a bit more specific by mentioning “policy” in your thesis so that your issue brief can be more centered around promoting said policy.
1. I think that your title does a good job giving the reader an understanding of the topics you will be writing about, but I think you can be more explicit with how those topics are actually connected. Mention what you want to accomplish (ex. ….: Why Penn State Must Transition to Environmentally Friendly Architecture).
2. I think you did do a pretty good job giving your topic immediacy. You mentioned the incredible amount of money and resources being put into new buildings at the moment, which is good. I would mention more about how the concept of sustainability has transformed over the years because it is super relevant to your topic.
3. I think your thesis is good. It serves as a good jumping-off point for the rest of your essay, and I believe it pretty clearly outlines what you hope to persuade Penn State of. I agree with what was said above, though: you could be a bit more specific with your wording regarding the policy you want to enforce — but good first draft!