What do you say to someone when they talk badly about your best friend? What if that person is your boyfriend? Those of you that requested an update about Matt and Sam… here it is.
As a recap, two of my friends, Matt and Sam, met through me at the beginning of the semester. After Sam and her boyfriend broke up, the two began “talking,” however it was made clear that Sam did not want a relationship. Flash forward a few weeks and the two were very content with their situation, and then got drunk together with some other friends. When Sam practically blacked out, she kissed someone else. After realizing what happened, she apologized repeatedly, Matt said everything was okay and that technically they were not dating so it wasn’t an issue… and then went back on that and chaos erupted.
In the past week, Matt has gone from accepting Sam’s apology to semi-ghosting her. Although I do not believe things will ever return to how they were before everything happened, I do wish for them to be able to settle things and stay friendly. So, being the helpful mutual friend, I have been intervening.
In my attempt to stay friends with both of them, I have been trying, and failing, to stay neutral on the subject. This is often a good tactic in situations like these so that you can help both sides see things at face value and possibly clear up their own views. However, I do side slightly with Sam on the current situation. I am not saying that what happened is not her fault or blaming Matt for all of this, but I do believe the way Matt has been punishing Sam for the whole thing is unfair.
Matt is hurting, and in his pain is hurting Sam. This really strains me because it is very difficult to help both of them when my scale on the matter has been tipped. In exchange, Matt has talked more about his personal feelings and issues with his friends (within which my boyfriend, Spencer, is included), which has been helping him a bit. So, in situations where you cannot help all sides alone, seeking help to help others is really useful. The number one rule in helping others is also to help yourself; if you cannot get something positive from the experience then you may feel it a waste of your time, and that is not the goal.
However, with Spencer helping Matt instead, Spencer and I have done some talking. Today he told me that he has never been fond of Sam and thinks it would be best if she stayed away from Matt entirely, for Matt’s sake. Sam is my best friend, and I therefore, like many other friends would, feel entitled to stand up for her when something is not right. In any situation, standing against injustice is the right thing to do, whether it is easy or not, and normally my advice would be to do this.
But what will taking a stand do for my relationship with Spencer? Stay tuned next week and we will see if there are any updates to be made, but unfortunately I do not believe there will be must else relevant to my blog that I can discuss for you all to take from this matter.
Lesson: if you can avoid having two of your friends date or talk, do it; it only causes tensions and headaches among all with friendly ties.
My life is so boring compared to the high-energy drama you seem to have all around you! I appreciate you breaking down the situation for us and explaining all of the moving parts so that we can connect to different characters in this ‘story’ you are putting out for us. I’m excited to read more!
Your blog makes me feel like I’m watching Access Hollywood.
YAY! My favorite blog post! It’s so dramatic and interesting, I love it. This all sounds like a huge headache to me, I can just imagine….