While I’m far from shy in my life, there’s something I hate that I think can relate to extraverts and introverts alike.
I hate people watching me, but more than that, I hate watching myself.
Sometimes the cruelest, most judgmental pair of eyes on you is your own.
Take the gym, for example, where the room I hate the most is the small one with the massive, wall-length mirror.
I really don’t need to stare at that stupid mirror to see how this can’t bend.
I know this, my awkward body, cannot bend.
The large, open gym room is where I can let loose though,
There, I’m anonymous.
In that room there’s no mirror, no hateful eyes glaring back at me
And when the music turns on I’m invincible,
I’m able to tune the world, and most importantly, my negative thoughts out.
I believe in dorky dance moves.
I believe in dancing those dorky dance moves like nobody’s watching.
In fact, I go right ahead; I make an absolute fool of myself, which I can be seen doing in a variety of locations
Yes
I’m that weirdo smiling and dancing by myself as I walk in between classes.
Because as I pass by the scenery that is State College, I will hardly been seen without my ear buds in tow. Whether it is Broadway musicals, classic rock, or those insanely addicting sugarcoated pop singles, I will move my body in awkward ways to them all, and it’s a great feeling.
The best feeling in the world for me, though, is when I laugh.
And I’m not talking about a little giggle at something that is mildly humorous.
I’m talking about an obnoxious guffaw followed the feeling you can’t breathe
That’s the best feeling.
Because at that moment, whether it’s getting totally lost in a song or my laugh, I don’t care if anybody’s watching me.
Nobody’s there.
It’s just me.
I’ve found that’s hard to remember though when I’m bogged down with homework, drama, and dozens of other trivial mini-catastrophes that can bring me down in a matter of seconds.
But, there’s always time for one song.
One silly-sing-your-heart-out-with an air guitar song…
It’s an instant mood booster…because I’ve learned being grumpy helps no one, especially myself.
And when I’m doing my gawky Elaine Benes style dance moves, I’m so into the moment that I forget the trouble and stresses I have,
I love to see people who are just so into something. Whether it is making silly faces to go along with the moves at gym class, or closing their eyes because they’re so moved by the music they’re creating with their own instrument…..I can’t take my eyes off them
There’s something so…. magnetizing about it, and that’s because like me, they’ve learned to tune the world out.
So that’s why when I’m stressed I just turn the music up, sing loud and off key, and include cheesy hand motions.
At that moment I’m just myself, and I, rock on.