So if you know me well enough, you soon come to find out that I am legitimately terrified of zombies. I think they are the scariest horror concept of them all sheerly because they…oh I don’t know…EAT YOUR FACE OFF! All this aside, I love The Walking Dead (which I literally have to watch through my fingers), but it is pretty frustrating considering all the stupid things these people do. So here are the top ten frustrating things about any zombie movie or show.

1.) TREE TOP CIVILIZATIONS  Why has nobody done this?! Zombies can’t climb trees, that’s like, a universal fact. Put a garden and some chickens up there and you’re set for life. Connect these houses to others and you could repopulate the earth with enough people to kill all the zombies and take the planet back. Just set this up near a river so you can throw a bucket on a pulley system for water. Seriously. Just do this.

2.) Make use of Helicopters/Airplanes  Seriously government. If there are signs of a serious zombie apocalypse, use your planes to get people into refugee camps. Save people before you attack the zombies. I never understand why the government is so incompetent in these movies. *Obligatory “thanks Obama.”*

3.) When given the choice between a car and a horse, take the car.  I never understood what was appealing about riding a horse, which can be eaten and killed by zombies. A car can protect you. They can’t get in a car just by touching it.

4.) If you find a good place to stay, don’t leave unless you have to. If you have food, water, shelter, and weapons, what is the point of leaving?! Don’t “go into town” for things you don’t need. If you do this, you are stupid.

5.) Form a huge community at the start. The only reason these scenarios get so out of hand is because people flee and go out on their own. Stay in one place, make a sustainable community (preferably of cool tree houses) with hundreds of people that you know and trust.

6.) This is not the time for love. I don’t care if you told your best friends wife that her husband was dead so you could have her love you and then he comes back and you’re devastated. Or if you’ve been so lonely that you just want to wipe hair off a girl’s face to prove that you’re really not as socially awkward as you think you are. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE. Drama is the last thing you want amongst your rag tag team of zombie killers.

7.) Don’t have sex. If you get pregnant or an STD, you’re going to have to slow down. If you have a baby to take care of, you have one more mouth to feed, a siren to alert zombies that it pooped its pants, and something more to cry about if it gets eaten. If you get syphilis, you’re going to go blind and crazy.

8.) Don’t let kids be alone. Kids are stupid. Kids wander off. Your kid is going to have to shoot a zombie because it’s not strong enough to stab it. That shot is going to alert more zombies.  In short, without you, your kid is going to die. Also hearing “Where’s Carl?” ten times an episode is super annoying.

9.) Shoot the bitten! Sure it is devastating to have a loved one get bitten (that’s why zombies are so terrifying) but it’s even worse to see them as half decayed humanoids, mindlessly gnawing on other people and trying to kill you. Shoot them while they’re still human.

10.) Plant a garden! Have some tomatoes, some cucumbers, and other vegetables. Zombies sure as hell aren’t going to touch them and you can bring them inside under a heat lamp during the winter. Or  just live in a fortified green house. Either way, make use of your ability as a human to plant things that you can eat rather than just testing your luck that you can scavenge without getting eaten. Seriously, it’s not that hard to stay in one  place for the rest of your life.