“If I punched her, would you feel it?”

“Do you always know what she’s thinking?”

“Which one is smarter?”

These are absurd, intrusive, and rude questions, but I faced them all growing up as a twin. Whenever someone would ask what our names were, we would tell them—“I’m Danielle, and she’s Dominique.” Most times, people would immediately confuse our names and act as though it were excusable or turn us into a human guessing-game where they’d run up to us, guess who was who, congratulate themselves if they got it right, and then run off again without even having a real conversation.  Or they would simply save themselves the trouble and refer to us both as “twin.” Regardless of what they did, I was left with the overwhelming sense that I was always being compared to—and in competition with—my twin sister.

People would openly compare us right to our faces, like one time when a group of girls debated over who was prettier.  My sister and I were particularly competitive with academics and refused to share our grades with each other.  I felt like if she did anything better than me that I was going to be the “bad twin.”

And yet everyone wants to have a twin, as if they don’t realize how lucky they are to be considered an individual.  To be known by your own name.  To be treated like a person and not a form of entertainment.  To not have to compete with someone who literally lives with you.

To have individuality.

As human beings, we are all naturally different.  We all have likes and dislikes, different styles and tastes, and particular personalities and characteristics.  And even though they aren’t treated like it, twins – like my sister and me – are individuals too. Think about when you describe someone: you wouldn’t try to accurately describe them by saying that they have eyes, a face, and a body, because everyone has that.  You would describe them with things that make them different.  For example, I would describe my sister as a type-A brunette with a killer sense of humor that loves musicals as much as breathing and is a strange mix of down-to-earth and ditsy; while I would describe myself as an artsy, ambitious, big-hearted bundle of big blonde hair who can’t finish a book to save her life and daydreams too much for her own good.  For two girls who are supposed to be like “the same person,” we sure are pretty different!

And that’s what’s so great about people; they’re all so unique.  Frankly, we tend to admire people’s differences and often times wish we were more like them.  I admire my sister more than anyone because she has so many traits that I don’t have, but that doesn’t mean that I want to be like her.  I’m just fine with being myself, because regardless of what anyone else says, I know there is no one quite like me.