For the men who still believe chivalry is alive and well, prepare to be knocked off your rocker. According to modern day society. The era of women taking a substantial role in the workforce is upon us. My fellow male is becoming more and more crucial in the nurturing of the children in a household. Conversely, the women of our society are now becoming a bigger provider of finances for their family. There are a variety of positives and negatives that result from the socially constructed idea that women are willing and able to be “breadwinners”.
As of 2014, 57% of women today participate in the labor force. This percentage is equivalent to 72.6 million women in the labor force right now. This is in comparison to about 82.3 million men who participate in the workforce today. We can conclude using simple arithmetic that about 46% of the of workers are women. To dig even further into the discussion, 70% of mothers with children under 18 participate are currently employed. Since 1972, the white male participation rate has decreased by roughly 9%. Transversely, the participation rate for females has increased by 14%. Obviously a pattern is taking precedent in our society’s labor force. So what is the result? What does this mean for the family image? and what are the positives and negatives? To find out more about the labor force and gender click here.
Obviously, more dads are now looked upon to be a main contributor to raising children. The lack of experience and maternal instincts lead to some speculation on if this is a viable option for child care. Are dads suitable candidates to replace mom? Do the want to be doing this? According to an article by the New York Post.. yes in fact they do:
“I was a lawyer, but I hated it. I was fairly certain I’d made a mistake halfway through my first year of law school, but didn’t think “failing” or dropping out was an option. No harm done . . . you know, other than the crippling debt. I left the law job and tried raising money for a private school. Although I enjoyed aspects of that job, event planning (a major part of it) was way out of my wheelhouse.”
There you have it. Men in fact feel pressured to be the breadwinners in a family because of what society find acceptable. If it were more customary for men to be a direct part in child care, we may lessen having unhappy workers in the workforce and increase the number of successful Mr. Moms in the world. Although be wary to but a brand on this lifestyle choice. It may deter men from actually wanting to participate in this movement. On dad comments in an article containing “secrets of the stay at home dad” and he revealed the following:
“Do you see me lactating through my shirt or putting on lipstick at the stoplight? No. That’s because I’m a guy. Don’t get ahead of yourself and throw that ’80s stereotype on me, or I might have to stop ironing the kids’ grilled cheeses. Why can’t we just be guys that love taking care of our children?”
Another dad also commented on some of the responses they get when they tell someone that they are a stay at home dad. He responded by saying:
“It’s run the gamut. One of my dad’s friends called me a baby sitter, but he’s always been kind of a schmuck. Many guys have expressed jealousy. Others have said that they couldn’t do it, though sometimes that’s said with a bit of “BECAUSE I’M A GUY” in their voice. I’d say most people give me a nonplussed “That’s cool” and then the conversation moves on.”
This gender role reconstruction should be supported by our culture to promote the prosperity of the Stay at Home Dad. We shouldn’t be poking fun at the idea but we should be inspired by it.
Some people view the Stay at Home Dad as someone who is not suitable for childcare. They believe that men do not possess the necessary qualities for raising children. How do we know until we test it out? There are a plethora of success stories for the stay at home dad and no parent is perfect. It is mainly about the effort that is put in no matter if you gave birth to the child or the one who provided the seed. Parenthood is a two street and it’s about time we start looking both ways before we cross.
The double standards which plague society today regarding gender roles are just absurd. There are all these movements to allow women a more active role in the workforce, and yet men are still perceived as incompetent when it comes to childcare. There is no reason for anyone to think that men are any less capable of raising a child than a woman is. A father’s role in a child’s life is just as important as a mother’s, and while men and women may provide different insights into raising a child, there is no value in one over the other. As we try to progress toward equality in terms of gender roles, I only hope that this view of childcare can change with it.
One of the things I find most ironic about the gender stereotypes for parents is this: When two people, a man and a woman, bring a new born baby home, is there something the hospital whispered to the woman on the way out that the man does not know about childcare? My big sister, through raising her first child, has expressed to me the frustrations of her husband expecting her to know what to do when their baby cries or is hurt or has a fever. Her question to him is, what more do I know than you?! Men often expect women to have this natural mother-like instinct, but do fathers really know any less than mothers? Should they not be expected to know what to do with children as much as the mother?
Having a child is a natural human experience, therefore I believe all capable humans have the adequate instincts needed to raise that child. The fact that dad’s aren’t supposed to take on childcare is yet another stipulation our society has placed on gender, and I think it’s great that people are finally beginning to challenge that.
I think your post is extremely interesting because it tells the exact same story that many people tell about how women should get more involved in the workforce, but it tells that story from the other end. If more women are getting involved in the workforce, what is going on at home? Dads. And I completely agree with you. There is NOTHING wrong with having a stay at home dad. Dads are crucial to childhood development and should be getting involved in their children’s lives as much as possible.
In particular, I was really intrigued by your first line, “For the men who still believe chivalry is alive and well, prepare to be knocked off your rocker.” I think chivalry is extremely important and definitely goes a long way in the grand scheme of things, something that should definitely not disappear in the modern age. As you said, it is definitely becoming more and more common to see men play the role as the stay at home dad, which is great and irreplaceable in terms of child development. However, I still believe there is a fine line between what is regarded as chivalrous and what is regarding as nontraditional. I think that the man still has the responsibility to be “the man of the house,” even if he isn’t the one in the workforce, in terms of structuring the family dynamic. In general, regardless of which parent (if not both) is in the workforce nowadays, I think more emphasis needs to be placed on maintaining a strong family dynamic, whether that be through a stay at home dad, a stay at home mom, or whatever. Really good post! Very thought-provoking.
For someone to think that a father is not suitable for childcare is just ignorant. Studies show that consistent involvement from a father in a child’s life leads to positive development. Studies also show that children are immediately more attached to their mother, so women should not be worried that leaving their children at home with Dad with have a a negative impact on their relationship with their child in terms of attachment and bonding.
It is extremely important to note, as you did, that no parent is perfect, and thats okay! It is kind of funny, but the first born child is also called “the guinea pig”, as parents learn what kind of parenting strategies their children respond best to, whether it is authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, or indifferent.
The comments you listed from dads made me laugh and I have a lot of respect for them. They should forget about the haters, they are just jealous. These dads are going to have amazing, involved, and committed relationships with their children, as opposed to a father who works late and leaves early, hardly getting to see their young children.
I love the ending of this post “parenthood is a two way street and it is about time we start looking both ways before we cross” because I totally agree. If a father wants to stay at home and raise his children, why should that be any different than a mother who chooses to do that. No one ever is shocked by a woman saying she is a stay at home mom so they really should not be when a man says he’s a stay at home dad.