WASHINGTON, D.C. – Somehow, the anniversary of September 11th is still being used as political capital.
Over 17 years later, politicians and political figures in Washington and across the country are continuing to utilize the thousands of American lives lost on September 11, 2001 to push their political agendas. Commemorative speeches, vigils, and tweets can be seen far and wide as seemingly everyone insists those who died would be best remembered by adopting their specific values, beliefs, and ideology.
“The deaths of 9/11 victims must not be forgotten”, began former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Newt Gingrich in a comment on the national holiday.
“To remember their sacrifice, we should cut welfare, defund Planned Parenthood, eat raw hamburgers then spit it in the face of vegans, and probably tie some racism into this shit cocktail of virtue signaling. It’s what they would have wanted”, Gingrich continued.
“Terrorists from over 15 years ago who are all now dead and defeated can take away thousands of innocent lives that didn’t include anyone I knew, but they can never take away our right to pollute the environment, stand for the national anthem, and push this pseudo-patriotic garbage at every opportunity”, the former Speaker eloquently finished.
Even here at Penn State, victims’ lives are being used by political beneficiaries hoping to cash in on some old-fashioned blood money. The College Conservatives hosted their annual 9/11 Memorial in front of Old Main, complete with exaggerated tears and even politicians hoping to push themselves toward reelection by offering overblown speeches about where they were on 9/11 and why it’s important we occupy the Middle East almost 20 years later.
“I’m so glad everyone could be here today, it must mean so much to these victims’ families that less than 30 college students are gathered here to remember their loss and say like ‘Murica or something”, said College Conservatives Chairwoman Bari Goldwater to the meager crowd.
“Let us remember the sacrifices of these Americans and maybe some brown people too, and also remember that this will happen again unless we increase military funding and elect Republicans to office”, Goldwater continued.
“I am glad that about 25 students and 30 journalists could attend this ceremony and write articles about it later that aggrandize the importance and attendance of this event. From the Daily Collegian to Onward State to even the fucking Underground, I am pleased that you all sunk so fucking low as to exchange these deaths for clicks and likes,” Goldwater said addressing the media.
“Let us all take a moment of silence. Okay, that’s it. You ignorant shitheads can go home now, I got what I wanted”, Goldwater finished.
Yes, it is that time of the year again where we remember the loss of thousands of individuals in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, and Shanksville, PA, and we all must reflect on how we can twist their deaths to support our political agenda.
