By Kendra Hale

Anywhere, USA – A local man is being applauded after a groundbreaking meeting at the office, during which he recognized the existence of his sole female coworker.

At the beginning of the meeting, his first at the company as a new hire, Todd McMann was asked to introduce himself.

“I was a little nervous, of course – first day jitters. I was going to do a plain and simple introduction. But then, I noticed her, and I knew what I had to do,” McMann told us.

“I gave my name, some fun facts about me, and then I said it: ‘I’m really excited about working with you guys…AND girls.’”

Emily Shaeffer, who is a woman that exists, was thrilled to finally be recognized. She has been working in the office for over five years.

When we asked Shaeffer about McMann’s breathtaking demonstration of solidarity, she had this to say: “It was just another day at the office, just another morning meeting. Then this new guy walks in and says – after all these years – exactly what I’ve been waiting to hear.”

Tears formed in Shaeffer’s feminine eyes as she recounted the event.

“I just said what they should have been saying for years,” McMann commented.

McMann recently graduated from the local tech school, with a degree in engineering. His feminist journey began there, when he read the course description for WMNST 001.

“When I learned how hard women have it, I knew I had to stand up for them, especially in such a male-dominated field,” he explained. “That’s why I’ll say what needs to be said, even if it rocks the boat.”

Although McMann is being touted as a lionhearted champion for women by the majority of his coworkers, we did find one voice in opposition of this massive victory for equality.

“I think it’s a little too much, a little too soon,” said Gilbert Scrum, the company’s oldest employee. At least, we think that’s what he said; we couldn’t hear him through a raucous coughing fit, which rocked his decrepit body for nearly forty-five minutes.

“My wife would never consider leaving the home for a career,” Scrum continued, unprompted. “Of course, she’s dead!” Scrum laughed rioutously before launching into another, longer coughing fit. After he was done, Scrum left the building, as he only works a quarter-day every other Thursday.

McMann was given a 3000% raise for his bravery and progressivism, as well as the title of Honorary Woman. “Now I won’t have to go to the bathroom alone,” joked Shaeffer. “This is what the fourth wave is all about.”