Such a story of Addario’s Nana related to missed love actually does not surprise me that much as I am reading the book. I think in most cases everyone would have the experience similar like this. It is not only a story of a missed love that both parties in this story make a choice for themselves but also a profound truth of making choices for our own sake. From my perspective, the reason that Addario includes this story and inserts it just between her lost freedom under the power of Taliban and her final decision related to the revelation toward love is because she wants to show the readers, especially women who are struggling between a life with a man and a life for themselves, that nothing should stop them from pursuing their dreams that are deferred by the situation, and if it is a true love, the love will support and alien with her path. The majority of the women, especially in China, are struggling between being a housewife to take care of the whole family or being a professional working woman who is so independent without taking much from man’s income. The latter does not want to rely on man, but the reality is that if a woman chooses to be so independent at her work, she will be stamped as an irresponsible woman who is not willing to take care of the family. If a woman chooses to become a housewife, certainly she will loose anything that was meaningful to her when she was unmarried. Addario is certainly familiar with this concept due to her experience of traveling in countries like Pakistan. This is the ugly truth that no one wants to admit, yet we are all on the same cycle and this concept seems to pass on to the next generation.

Nana says she has “no regrets,” because she has made such a right choice to marry a man who can align with her, not the other one (Sal) who chooses to leave her. We all need to make hard choices in our life. There is always an opportunity cost when we are currently making a choice. Uxval is surely a lover, but he is not a man who can truly love Addario. True love is a state of mind that makes each party understand and make best decisions based on the other party’s perspective. It seems to be passionate to be with a man who is so romantic in a relationship, but this is lust instead of love. Lust does not last. That’s why Nana is with Addario’s grandfather rather than Sal, a runner, a coward. The true passion Addario has is for photography. Her passion is the gap between her and Uxval, which can not really support the existence of their relationship as love, the strange but familiar insight that embraces everything for each other. Addario has come to a realization that her passion is not about someone, it is about something that she has been loving since she was a child.

Choosing what best fits you, not choosing what you want. What you want is not necessarily what is the best for you. That’s what Addario has realized, as what Nana has suggested.

It is not making a choice between the person you love and the work you do. If it is defined as love, then there will be no such an existence like this choice. True love understands, and makes compromises as a willingness to make sacrifices for each other.

Below are the words Addario says before she is with Uxval:

“It was like a magic.”

“The More I traveled, the more I craved a life of travel.”

“Taking Pictures became a way for me to travel with a purpose.”

“It was the marriage of travel and foreign cultures and curiosity and photography. It was photojournalism.”

“Uncertainty.”

“I didn’t want to lose the momentum of travel and discovery or sink into the trap of a comfortable life.”

See? The insight of passion is already there, but it just hides there waiting for you to pick it up.

Passion never forgets.