Category: It’s What I Do

Have you ever seen the striking images that make you develop a pathetical an ethical connection directly links to the message that is trying to covey to you? Yes, I have. And personally sometimes I do not even want to think back, tracing the memory that was once lost for that long time.

The two most striking photographs I have found are on page 96-97 at top and page 218 at the bottom. Rather saying that the photographs are striking to me, they are more likely to make me develop a feeling: yes, they are true.

I have been exploring the life of Pakistan’s people since my high school in sophomore year. Starting from the book called I Am Malala, I have come to a realization of what I should really consider about as the goal of my life. We spend our whole life trying to pursue something we do not even have any ideals about, simply because we need to follow the mainstream set by the society that expects us to meet its “demand.” However, one tragedy of humanity is that we tend to follow others blindly, and thus we the blind and the deaf and the ignorant who never see the truth right in front of us. Pakistan is a country that is very politically friendly with my motherland, China. Due to the fact that my father is a military general in China, I have always developed such a sense of comfort when mentioning about Pakistan. While I was reading the book I AM Malala, I was really shocked. I had no ideals about what Taliban is doing in that country that I always think about. Since then, I find my dream and my hope on the shore of womanhood.

I am familiar with the images taken from Pakistan. However, when I see the picture on page 96-97 I am still desperately sad. This is a sadness that I have no choice of. I know it is almost impossible for me to make changes for these desperate children who are mistreated because of their own country’s political status. There are three boys on the image, with a background of yellowish broken car, walls, and houses. It does not seem to be a civilized place, even though it was once a city. None of them is wearing proper clothes. They are wearing dirty, broken, and adults’ clothes. The boy on the left carries a small dog in his arm, the boy in the middle is carrying a loop that comes from nowhere, and the boy on the back is standing on the hill. Everyone of them is watching toward the left side, but we cannot see what is attracting their attentions. I sense sadness and desperation from their eyes, where I believe that their innocence has been completely destroyed by the suffering and struggle caused by life. Where is hope? Where should they go? Why are they facing in such a dilemma? Can we make changes for them? Isn’t this unfair for young children to live lives based on suffering? These are the questions that immediately followed me after I see this image. I have no ideal about how they will survive in this kind of dilemma.

Another photograph that attracts my attention is the one at the bottom of page 218. The soldiers, and probably the Taliban soldiers, they are walking on the ground, on the bones of the dead bodies of other humans. There is an old saying in Chinese culture that the latter humans always walk on the bones that are the establishments of better and more advanced path. Certainly, we are walking on the bones of our ancestors. Yet the scene appearing from this image is different. There is moral absolutism indicating that it is always morally wrong to kill others. No one has the right to take away someone’s life. However, the harsh truth is wars always get away from this justice. We are killing each other. This is a bloody truth that we all have to be able to see. If we all choose to ignore this bloody truth and live a life blindly, there will never be changes. Sacrifices must be made in order to achieve better goals to the benefit of others. It seems to be normal for those soldiers to see dead bodies and even live with them. This ignorance makes me mad, but sadly I cannot make any changes of it.

 

When I am writing blogs, I will incorporate images and videos that directly link to my thesis with simple and distinct means. However, these are tools that help my audience to better understand my text, I cannot make them so distinctive and attract all the attentions away from my text that I really should emphasis on.

Have you ever come to a realization of how significant to fight inside of you brain? We struggle, we suffer, and we receive pain, because we are capable to feel anything that is sensible.

There is no doubt that we all have internal conflicts inside of our heart, yet sometimes we blame it for something else that is easier for us to release all that negative energy. It is always easier to blame something else, so we can stay away from the judgement we made for ourselves.

Generally, the internal conflict existed in our heart is self-inflicted, meaning that while we act we also make judgements about our own behaviors. We do things for particular reasons, and sometimes these reasons are not quite the same. We are at a constant state to act for distinguishing reasons. And sometimes we cannot even act based on our original intentions or perceptions of judgement. Judgements do evolve.

 

In It’s What I do, Addario has this conflict between her career as a photographer who shoots pictures of people that are in all aspects of dilemmas and the fact that she is making profits for taking pictures of those suffered ones. She has developed this guilt that eventually leads her to a deeper thinking of if she is doing the right thing. Neither morally nor legally wrong, Addario has discovered this perception of acting wrongly. She has “photographed the plight of refugees, villages on fire, ransacked homes, victims of rape,” and all these photographs are published for News, articles, or even stores, contributing to bring profit for her (Addario 145). Immediately a question has drawn into her brain: should we value the photographs of suffered people based on momentary level? Can we measure how much these photographs worth by certain levels of momentary values? Or maybe another question: does make money actually challenge her original heart and passion to be a photographer? Here is a conflict between reality and the work she is passionate about.

 

If we are passionate about something, should not we be able to do it at least follow our instinct rather than forcing ourselves to do something we are tired or bored of? Addario mentioned in Part III that “over the years” she has been forcing herself “to be creative in how” she “covered the same scenes over and over,” demonstrating her intention for now has changed into taking pictures that can make more profits for her since “abstract ways” of taking pictures like this are more attracted to the audience (Addario 146). Rather than photographing the reality of life of struggle and pain, Addario starts questioning herself if she is making pictures based on what she really wants.

Whereas the harsh truth is that she has to make money for living, for more advanced devises to take better photographs. And simply no one can fight against reality. Isn’t this a war between reality and free will? Addario makes this conflict relatable to her reader by using a commonplace addressed into the reality of life and the dream she has been fighting for. Everyone who steps into the society knows that there is always a gap between reality and what we truly want. If Addario has correctly used money and invest it into her work, same to those who need money to make a living, then this guilt will be vanished.

 

Personally I have a conflict between being an independent woman who never marries and being a daughter of a traditional family that requires me to get married and carry on the family line. I am the only child in my family, whereas both of my parents come from huge families that have more than 9 siblings. Even my grandparents prefer boys than girls. I was trained and educated as a boy until I was older to realize there is something wrong. From my parents’ perspective, and especially from my father’s, they think it is my duty as well as my natural life step to get married with a man. The fact is that I am a strong feminist who never believes that there will be a genuine equality in this society. In my passion blog, I will indicate how strongly I believe in the constant state of equality that needs to be generated over and over through generations. I know this conflict where everyone wants to pursue equality in this society, yet the truth is that the true equality or the complete equality can never be achieved if there is a community.

 

In Part II, when Addario tells the story of how the Muslim’s men touching her body, I almost have developed the same feeling as if there are thousands hands of men are on my body, touching me, humiliating me, regarding me as a toy that provides them with pleasure. This scene has immediately drawn my attention to the insight of sexist who sends women into the trap where they unintentionally enter.

There is a nature of sex that each human-being contains, and I believe this is undoubtedly true. 

Even the “most religious” men in the practice of Muslim still has this nature that is banned by their societal bond. Foreign women dressed respectfully as a Muslim, showing their respect toward their religion, yet they simply just disregard it. A foreign woman reminds those men nothing but the figures in porn movies that have all those “easy and available” characteristics of sex.

This harsh truth is pathetic.

No one can hide their nature, but the society or whatever the religion contains inside of it is trying to forbid our nature.

I have no judgements toward the men or the ideal of sexist behind it in this case. I only judge the insight of sexist that puts both men and women in such a position. No one is running away from this cycle.

The strategies Addario uses to emphasize her passion and resolution on photograph are through the means of patho, ethos.

The patho is the appeal of ethics that connects to the scene happens to Addario. It is not just physically wrong but morally those men are offending her and humiliating her, contributing to draw the connection from the audience that this ethic value behind this scene is significant to such a bond. Moreover, Addario utilizes the emotions she has created from anger, disappointment, and surprises to establish such a base for the audience to connect their emotion to what is happening to her.

In order to persuade the audience about the profound insight of my own passion, I think the best way to connect with the audience is through emotional bonding that links both the audience and my passion together. What I am experiencing should also be what the audience is experiencing at that particular moment. The audience can easily believe what I have created is true to them as well. Finding the commonplace will be path to the success of linking both sides.

Such a story of Addario’s Nana related to missed love actually does not surprise me that much as I am reading the book. I think in most cases everyone would have the experience similar like this. It is not only a story of a missed love that both parties in this story make a choice for themselves but also a profound truth of making choices for our own sake. From my perspective, the reason that Addario includes this story and inserts it just between her lost freedom under the power of Taliban and her final decision related to the revelation toward love is because she wants to show the readers, especially women who are struggling between a life with a man and a life for themselves, that nothing should stop them from pursuing their dreams that are deferred by the situation, and if it is a true love, the love will support and alien with her path. The majority of the women, especially in China, are struggling between being a housewife to take care of the whole family or being a professional working woman who is so independent without taking much from man’s income. The latter does not want to rely on man, but the reality is that if a woman chooses to be so independent at her work, she will be stamped as an irresponsible woman who is not willing to take care of the family. If a woman chooses to become a housewife, certainly she will loose anything that was meaningful to her when she was unmarried. Addario is certainly familiar with this concept due to her experience of traveling in countries like Pakistan. This is the ugly truth that no one wants to admit, yet we are all on the same cycle and this concept seems to pass on to the next generation.

Nana says she has “no regrets,” because she has made such a right choice to marry a man who can align with her, not the other one (Sal) who chooses to leave her. We all need to make hard choices in our life. There is always an opportunity cost when we are currently making a choice. Uxval is surely a lover, but he is not a man who can truly love Addario. True love is a state of mind that makes each party understand and make best decisions based on the other party’s perspective. It seems to be passionate to be with a man who is so romantic in a relationship, but this is lust instead of love. Lust does not last. That’s why Nana is with Addario’s grandfather rather than Sal, a runner, a coward. The true passion Addario has is for photography. Her passion is the gap between her and Uxval, which can not really support the existence of their relationship as love, the strange but familiar insight that embraces everything for each other. Addario has come to a realization that her passion is not about someone, it is about something that she has been loving since she was a child.

Choosing what best fits you, not choosing what you want. What you want is not necessarily what is the best for you. That’s what Addario has realized, as what Nana has suggested.

It is not making a choice between the person you love and the work you do. If it is defined as love, then there will be no such an existence like this choice. True love understands, and makes compromises as a willingness to make sacrifices for each other.

Below are the words Addario says before she is with Uxval:

“It was like a magic.”

“The More I traveled, the more I craved a life of travel.”

“Taking Pictures became a way for me to travel with a purpose.”

“It was the marriage of travel and foreign cultures and curiosity and photography. It was photojournalism.”

“Uncertainty.”

“I didn’t want to lose the momentum of travel and discovery or sink into the trap of a comfortable life.”

See? The insight of passion is already there, but it just hides there waiting for you to pick it up.

Passion never forgets.

I believe that sometimes the dreams that came true are the dreams that you never even knew you had.

When I consider about happiness, I don’t really explicate it in a manner to define what it is to me. I know that I will only be happy when I can sense the air that floats around me as I am walking inside of a forest that no one is here but me. I can sense the air when I am provided with a platform to be able to learn what I want to learn and speak out loud what I believe. To be able to be yourself is one of the most difficult thing a person can do, and trust me, it is true. One part of humanity is that we all tend to follow others despite we don’t necessarily know what the meaning behind the scene is. Yet I am the one who actually start releasing myself from inside to outside, and I am happy and also passionate about revealing myself completely in front of everyone, no matter if it is a person who supports me or judges me. This is what makes me unique I guess. If I agree with something, I am willing to support it; if I disagree with something, I must speak out. This is a characteristic I have that sometimes makes me become isolated, and it is true as my life in a tiny high school of 3 years was quite lonely. I was so afraid of this loneliness I was surrounded by, but now loneliness becomes a part of my happiness. There is no such an existence of the necessity to fear loneliness. It sounds like a contradiction, but my happiness is this loneliness that I create by myself in order to help me pursue an internal world that tells me you are the ignorant one. Socrates says he is the only one who knows he knows nothing. The majority of us is afraid of this uncertainty that shackles ourselves from inside, but I am telling you that uncertainty is this great ignorance that allows you to truly be who you are. The dreams are the dreams, whereas you are who you are. Nothing is illusional as long as we are able to recognize ourselves by truly realizing what we really want to do.