Have you ever come to a realization of how significant to fight inside of you brain? We struggle, we suffer, and we receive pain, because we are capable to feel anything that is sensible.

There is no doubt that we all have internal conflicts inside of our heart, yet sometimes we blame it for something else that is easier for us to release all that negative energy. It is always easier to blame something else, so we can stay away from the judgement we made for ourselves.

Generally, the internal conflict existed in our heart is self-inflicted, meaning that while we act we also make judgements about our own behaviors. We do things for particular reasons, and sometimes these reasons are not quite the same. We are at a constant state to act for distinguishing reasons. And sometimes we cannot even act based on our original intentions or perceptions of judgement. Judgements do evolve.

 

In It’s What I do, Addario has this conflict between her career as a photographer who shoots pictures of people that are in all aspects of dilemmas and the fact that she is making profits for taking pictures of those suffered ones. She has developed this guilt that eventually leads her to a deeper thinking of if she is doing the right thing. Neither morally nor legally wrong, Addario has discovered this perception of acting wrongly. She has “photographed the plight of refugees, villages on fire, ransacked homes, victims of rape,” and all these photographs are published for News, articles, or even stores, contributing to bring profit for her (Addario 145). Immediately a question has drawn into her brain: should we value the photographs of suffered people based on momentary level? Can we measure how much these photographs worth by certain levels of momentary values? Or maybe another question: does make money actually challenge her original heart and passion to be a photographer? Here is a conflict between reality and the work she is passionate about.

 

If we are passionate about something, should not we be able to do it at least follow our instinct rather than forcing ourselves to do something we are tired or bored of? Addario mentioned in Part III that “over the years” she has been forcing herself “to be creative in how” she “covered the same scenes over and over,” demonstrating her intention for now has changed into taking pictures that can make more profits for her since “abstract ways” of taking pictures like this are more attracted to the audience (Addario 146). Rather than photographing the reality of life of struggle and pain, Addario starts questioning herself if she is making pictures based on what she really wants.

Whereas the harsh truth is that she has to make money for living, for more advanced devises to take better photographs. And simply no one can fight against reality. Isn’t this a war between reality and free will? Addario makes this conflict relatable to her reader by using a commonplace addressed into the reality of life and the dream she has been fighting for. Everyone who steps into the society knows that there is always a gap between reality and what we truly want. If Addario has correctly used money and invest it into her work, same to those who need money to make a living, then this guilt will be vanished.

 

Personally I have a conflict between being an independent woman who never marries and being a daughter of a traditional family that requires me to get married and carry on the family line. I am the only child in my family, whereas both of my parents come from huge families that have more than 9 siblings. Even my grandparents prefer boys than girls. I was trained and educated as a boy until I was older to realize there is something wrong. From my parents’ perspective, and especially from my father’s, they think it is my duty as well as my natural life step to get married with a man. The fact is that I am a strong feminist who never believes that there will be a genuine equality in this society. In my passion blog, I will indicate how strongly I believe in the constant state of equality that needs to be generated over and over through generations. I know this conflict where everyone wants to pursue equality in this society, yet the truth is that the true equality or the complete equality can never be achieved if there is a community.