It’s been a long time since I’ve brought out this old standard saying, but it bears repeating.  If you live like a lawyer while you are a student, you will live like a student when you are a lawyer.  It’s a classic saying that law school financial aid administrators have been using for as long as I can remember to try to encourage students not to borrow too much money.  But I’ve seen a friend of mine (let’s call her Jane) who has never even thought about law school dig herself into a financial hole in a very similar way.

I have been watching Jane make financial mistakes for years, despite my efforts to stop her.  She is so focused on the life that she wishes for that she shops for it.  She buys high end camping gear for trips she doesn’t take.  She buys furniture for a house she doesn’t have.  She buys clothes that are perfect for events she doesn’t go to.  And spending that money for the life she longs for puts that life even more out of reach because she doesn’t have the money to get there.

One of the big challenges in life is knowing how to define your “wants” and your “needs.”  And it’s ok to treat yourself to some wants, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the ability to meet your needs.  I need to eat.  I do not need to eat steak or lobster.  Special treat foods are nice every once in a while, but I know that my budget won’t allow for that on a regular basis.  Plus I think it makes the special things less special if you indulge in them too often.  I need shelter, but I don’t need a giant house for just me and my husband and our trio of crazy cats.  We have a small house that needs work, and that covers our needs just fine.  I need transportation to work.  I could take the bus.  But I indulge one of my wants by driving a car.  It’s a 10 year old Subaru.  It’s not the car of my dreams.  But it does fill my transportation needs (as well as some transportation wants!) just fine.  I don’t have everything I want.  But I do have everything I need, so I don’t fear that I won’t be able to meet the next month’s bills.

Jane doesn’t have the security of knowing she’ll be able to cover the bills when they come due.  She’s been prioritizing her wants over her needs.  And that gets in the way of her getting to where she wants to be.  It’s ok to treat yourself to some wants.  As long as it doesn’t get in the way of meeting your needs.

Don’t let the live you want get in the way of the life you currently have.  Don’t be a Jane.