Tag Archives: balance

I Have To versus I Get To

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This weekend one theme kept recurring in my thoughts:  You have to balance the “I have to” with the “I get to.”  If life is all about things that you HAVE to do, you will always be miserable.  So you have to find the joy in everything.  There must be at least SOMEthing that is joyful in everything, right?

This weekend I had to go visit my parents to help them with some yard work and meal preparation.  I had to do the chores for them, but I got to spend some time visiting with my parents (which I know is a luxury that I won’t have forever).  I had to spend almost four hours in my car traveling up and back to the house I grew up in, but I got to listen to a lot of my favorite music and see some beautiful foliage while I was driving.

Mondays are always the hardest day of the week.  I had to come to work after two days away.  But I get to talk with students.  I get to write the Moneywise Tip.  I get to help people.  I get to see the co-workers who have become my friends.  I get to raid the candy dishes housed in the Admissions suite.  I have a lot of “I get tos” that come with my job, and I know that makes me fortunate.  Everyone should choose a career that provides them with “I get to” opportunities.

I have to pay some bills today.  I got paid on Friday and I have some bills that are due at the end of this week.  It’s hard to find the “I get to” in paying bills, but it is in there.  I get to head into the month not having to worry about something outstanding that will come due when I’m not paying attention.  I get to watch the balance due decrease on my mortgage and my car loan.  I get to know that my utilities will stay on and my Netflix will keep running.

When my Subaru didn’t fare well at inspection this year, the bill hurt.  I had to pay it.  But I get to continue driving the car I love, knowing that it is not going to fail me at an inconvenient time.  My refrigerator (that came with my house and I have no idea how old it is) is likely not going to last more than another year.  I’ve noticed some wear on the seal, and that is the kiss of death for a fridge.  I will hate when I have to buy a major appliance.  But I will love when I get to pick out a fridge that meets my needs and makes me happy.

There is a lot of “I have to” involved in law school.  You have to read a case, go to class, go to a meeting, work on a resume, and so on and so on.  But think about the “I get tos” that go along with those things.  They won’t be the same for everyone.  Some people will love sitting in class but hate doing the readings.  For others it will be the reverse.  But it’s important to find your joy where you can.  Think about your “I get tos.”  It makes it a lot easier to manage the “I have tos.”

The Scarcest Commodity

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The scarcer a resource is, the more valuable it becomes.  It works this way with oil and diamonds and the minerals that help to make up your smartphone.  And it works this way with your time.  The further we get into the spring semester the scarcer time seems to be.  Exams (and commencement!) are only a few weeks away.  Your schedule is likely full of papers and events and planning and bar exam applications and outlines and study groups and…..well, you get the idea.  I’ve been finding the same thing in my world as both my personal and professional responsibilities seem to be more than I am able to squeeze into my waking hours.  But we trudge on, we compromise, and eventually we get through it.

The compromising is the tough part.  Every decision to spend your time on one thing means not spending it on something else.  Your priorities become clear.  When faced with the decision of spending my Saturday night seeing some favorite musicians perform or meal prepping with my Instant Pot, I chose the concert.  But that left me without lunches for the week.  Yet another decision.  Do I buy lunch out, or buy something pre-packaged?  I’m busy, but I’m not rich, so I hit the frozen food aisle at my local grocery store and bought an assortment of reduced-calorie frozen meals to eat for lunch this week.  And while I was at it, I grabbed a frozen veggie lasagna for Sunday dinner.  Not the most delicious food ever.  But also not bad, and not outside my budget.  And I didn’t have to give up the Saturday night concert.  I chose to spend my time on fun rather than food, but also didn’t give up too much of my money in the process.  Quality of food is less important to me than quality of life (which for me generally means live music).

Every decision has a trade-off.  But it’s important not to let money be the thing you sacrifice.  You can do or have anything you want.  But you likely can’t do or have everything you want.  What’s most important to you? What are you willing to give up in order to have it?  Can you do that without blowing your budget?