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or those of you who are not familiar with the movie, She’s out of My League, staring Jay Bruchel and Alice Eve, it follows the life of an average man as he sets out to win the love of a gorgeous girl named Molly. Kirk, played by Jay Bruchel, struggles with a lack of confidence. Despite the fact that Kirk and Molly, played by Alice Eve, appear to share a mutual attraction for each other, he struggles with his “number”. The movie revolves around Kirks inability to see himself as the right person for Molly, considering his inferior looks. When discussing his relationship with Molly, Kirks friend, Stainer, explains to him that as a “five”, Kirk cannot have a relationship with Molly, “this Molly is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that’s a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can’t jump more than two point”.
After having watched and adored the movie, it leaves me wondering, “Can you jump more than two points”? Do points really exist or matter?
According to Jean Lawrence, a journalist for WebMD, there are 6 elements of attraction:
- Physical attractiveness
Hugh Hefner (age 88) and his wife, Crystal Harris (age 28)
- Money
- Desire for children
- Religion
- Class
- Education
Considering the many factors that can affect relationships it is hard to pinpoint the sole reason behind why someone may date individuals who are “out of their league”.
A recent survey, commissioned by Medicis Aesthetics, gathered over 1,000 men and women. Researchers questioned the participants about the role that physical attraction plays in their long- term relationships. According to Huffington Post journalist, and Psychologist, Vivian Diller, people were asked the following questions:
- “How satisfied are you with your partner’s physical appearance?”
- “How satisfied do you think your partner is with yours?”
- “Would you be happier if their partners paid more attention to their physical appearance, and if so, which features mattered to them most?”
The researchers examined the differences between couples that have been married or living together for 1-7 years, 8-14 years and 15-20 years. According to the data collected by the researchers, 78% of the men and women involved in the study felt that physical attraction mattered. The scientists found that looks matter the most “in the first seven years of a relationship”. After seven years as a couple, researchers found that “physical attraction may be increasingly influenced by other emotional factors—like goof communication and shared interests—which probably help sustain attraction even if looks change”. The study also found that men are more likely than women to focus on physical attraction. If fact, 62% of men say a women’s face is very important, while 53% say the same for her body. Despite the fact that the study may have been conducted correctly it is possible that chance affected the researchers findings. It is important to remember that only 1,000 people where involved in the study and perhaps a larger number of subjects could have altered the findings. Considering the many factors that can explain the reason behind why people form relationships scientist struggle with the Texas sharp shooter problem. A large amount of relationship factors are often studied at once and given all of the overlapping data, pinpointing a single factor, such as appearance, can be difficult.
Hugh Jackman (age 46) and his wife, Deborra-Lee Furness (age 58)
Good news for people like Kirk, looks may only be important during the first 7 years of a relationship. So the next time you and your friends begin calculating your “number”, remember that looks only last so long!
Sources:
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/do-opposites-attract
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/physical-attraction-is-love-blind_b_1302550.html
I really enjoyed reading this blog and found it to be very interesting. However, I have to agree that sense of humor would play a huge role in keeping your significant other interested. If you can’t keep each other interested and make each other laugh what is the point. If a couple is together for 7 years obviously looks aren’t the only thing keeping them together. I also am a firm believer that our times have changed when it comes to relationships. Our grandparents grew up in a different time when looks weren’t considered to be such a big deal.
This is an interesting concept because it was a survey kind of set up. Therefore it runs into many problems. The survey method is almost always more cost effective, but it runs into problems like response bias. There is always the possibility of chance, but we don’t know if the participants in the study were told what the study was about. If they were exposed to the topic they may have changed their answers according to what they thought the interviewer wanted to hear. Another problem is the basis of all human beings set of attraction on what one journalist said. Is it different for different cultures? I don’t believe that question was taken into account. While I agree with most of the information presented and I can see how it would make sense in todays social and cultural context, correlation doesn’t mean causation. It is an interesting topic though and I don’t know how scientists would be able to experimentally produce results from this study.
I like how you incorporated the movie in this. Let’s all be honest, this was a great movie. It was funny and you could pretty much tell how it would play out at the end. I don’t believe however that you needed research to tell someone that looks aren’t as important after 7 years in a relationship. At that pint you are very committed to your partner and no matter what happens you will most likely stay with them. That being said I believe the rating scale doesn’t matter and is entirely subjective. It is true that the findings could be due to chance and the sharpshooter problem.
One reason why people tend to think that they aren’t in someone’s league, or why people considered “out of someone’s league” could be that when human’s, and especially females, look in the mirror, up to 80% of them see a distort image. This is especially so for girls who are going through puberty, as they tend to gain weight. Men also can suffer from the distorted image but are less likely too after puberty, because they can see themselves getting taller and broader in the shoulders and becoming more as what the media portrays as “manly”. This could effect how someone thinks that another person is out of their league is because they see themselves as uglier and a lower number. This could also affect if someone who is more attractive dates someone who is considered less attractive, because the person who is more attractive could see themselves as less attractive and lower down on the scale.
http://www.sirc.org/publik/mirror.html
How is someone’s personality/sense of humor not one of these factors…
This is very interesting just to see all the other reasons besides looks that cause people to start relationships with one another. Things like money class and education can have a huge effect on attraction and you see it when you look at Hugh Hefner and Chrisal Harris; who are 60 years apart. Just saying thats unheard of. Looks are definitely most important for most people though but it was interesting to learn that after 7 years looks start to head to the bottom of the list and other qualities move to the top.
This is a very interesting article. I have found myself wondering sometimes how someone so good looking can be with someone so out of their league, but then I remind myself of my own personal saying; “Looks draw them in, personality keeps them there.” According to an article published by the Libertarian News, it is all about confidence. If someone thinks they are unworthy of dating a particular person, they are more to likely to lose their chance with that person than if they had enough confidence to think they were worthy. So I guess it really is all about attitude!
https://www.libertariannews.org/2013/10/14/do-mens-looks-matter-when-it-comes-to-attracting-women/