I have always questioned if distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder or if it is just a scapegoat to avoid the pain of separation. It was not until these past few months that I experienced this scenario myself. I have lived with my family in a small town in California my whole life, so when I came to Penn State I missed them terribly. I loved my family with all my heart before leaving, but I can honestly say that being away from them for so long has made my love for them grow stronger. Then I wondered is this the case for most people and what possesses us to do so?
When looking into the different observational studies on the topic I found that there was no studies focused on the relationships of families, but of couples. The observers on this question found that long-distance relationships were present in a great amount of college students, “up to 75% of college students have engaged in a long-distance relationship at some point, and roughly 25% to 50% of them are currently in one” (Kerner, 2013). So, what exactly about distance makes the heart grow fonder? In most cases the researchers found that the couples in long-distance relationships found ways to communicate more than those couples who weren’t. Although it wasn’t just the amount of communication that increases, but the intimacy between the couples. There were two different probable reasons for the increase in the intimacy of the couples. The first reason is that distance allows the partners to, “create an ideal image of your significant other which builds intimacy” (Vorwerk, 2013). Another probable theory is that the couples not being in physical contact with one another builds up the coupled emotions towards one another allowing them greater intimacy.
With the findings from each study one can infer that a long-distance relationship can work out. If anything they are stronger than those of couples who see each other a majority of the time. A long-distance relationship requires more commitment/trust, and with that the love grows stronger. So, it is probable under most circumstances that distance does make the heart grow fonder. To all those long-distance couples, maybe there is nothing to worry about.
Photo courtesy of www.usatoday.com
Works Cited
Kerner, Ian (2013) Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Retrieved from www.cnn.com
Vorwerk, Molly (2013) Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Study says yes. Retrieved from www.usatoday.com
I’m not sure–one of the first things we learned in Psych 100 is that absence does not in fact make the heart grow fonder, and that proximity is the most determinant factor in relationships. However, every year technology is making it easier and easier to keep in touch with our loved ones and through better means (like skyping and seeing the person instead of just calling)–It would be interesting to measure the effects of recent technological advances and availabilities on relationships (and overall more updated studies maybe would reveal different findings as they would’ve 5-10 years ago)
When I researched this on my own, my findings were a bit different. What I found was in fact that distance does not make the heart grow fonder but does the exact opposite. Too much absence may also lead to many relationship issues such as a wondering heart. The article that I found suggests that if a partner is absent too frequently in a relationship it may invite cheating on the other partners side. Here is the article if you would like to check it out! http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/does-absence-make-the-heart-grow-fonder
My home is not to far away from Penn State but I still miss my friends and family more than anything. I agree that when I get home that I feel closer to them than before. I can see why distance can make the heart grow fonder. I also think variables like talking to the ones you love a lot can help strengthen relationships and still feel close when you get to see them.
I wonder if the results of this study could be due to a different factor. For example, maybe being so far from home triggers somebody to talk more to the people from home that they are comfortable with more often. I know that since I have come to college many of my relationships at home have been strengthened because I like to talk to the people I am used to and comfortable with.
My best friend since my childhood left to study in Singapore in fifth grade because of his dad’s job. I think were close than ever now because he has been so far for so long. If i saw him every day i dont think i would be nearly as close with him as i am now. He is back from Singapore to attend Pitt so we always meet now. Thanks for think your post it is very interesting.