It is quite unpleasant when you witness family members fighting right in front of you. It can be intimidating and scary for those who are watching. The act of aggression and high volume can be damaging to some people but according to a study published in the journal Human Communication Research says otherwise. The research done suggests children who are exposed to arguments at a young age or during their childhood will be better able to handle conflict they may face later in their life.
According to the Human Communication Research article, conflict is pervasive in satisfying and dissatisfying relationships, but conflict is more frequent, severe, and stressful in dissatisfying relationships. In a Communication Studies article, , there are two kinds of families: pluralistic and protective. Pluralistic refers to families with open and unconstrained discussions that involves all family members. Protective families emphasize obedience with little concern with conceptual matters. Children of these families are easily influenced from outside authorities. Dr. Lindsey S. Aloia, a lecturer of communication at Rollins College, stated, “Because these experiences increase a person’s internal ability to adapt to conflict, desensitization is reflected in a diminished physiological reaction to conflict interactions.”
Even a professor from our very own university, Dr. Denise Solomon, decided to study this topic as well. She and Dr. Aloia took fifty college-aged couples and discussed with them their relationship with their partner and their childhood experiences with aggression. Also, the couples had to discuss a point of conflict with their partner. Before and after the study, saliva samples were taken to determine their baseline level of the stress hormone cortisol. This hormone (cortisol) is released from the body in response to stress. In the Huffington post article, it stated, “The people whose discussions involved more conflict tended to show higher levels of cortisol afterward. But the increase in cortisol levels tended to be smaller in people who indicated that they had been exposed to higher levels of familial verbal aggression in childhood.” Conclusion of the study: conflict experiences can be beneficial.
I am going to have to disagree with this research and study conducted. I do not believe that experiencing or even being involved with conflict experiences can be considered even some what beneficial. When you have parents or siblings fighting in front of you, that can scare you and make you become afraid of certain parents. For example, if your father starts fights with your mom, that can give someone the idea that men can be aggressive and short tempered. Violence can also be a factor where someone can hurt another or will be afraid of getting hurt. The experimental nature of the study and its quantitative measures of hormone level make it believable, but the sample size and the possible response bias from people indicating their own experience with family aggression make it less believable.
I would also question whether the researchers in the college-aged couples study considered measuring the emotional intelligence of each individual in the study. Since emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and in others, would an individual’s level of emotional intelligence (EI) be another factor in whether or not a couple was satisfied or not satisfied with their relationship versus conflict.
According to care.com’s website, fighting should not be seen as “normal.” It teaches kids that fighting and arguing is OK, when it is not. Dr. Tina B. Tessina agrees,”Fighting in front of kids also raises the anxiety level in children because it threatens their secure home environment. Children who see their parents fight or argue worry about divorce. They also do not learn healthy, effective negotiation skills.” In my opinion, I do think the sample size of the study should have been bigger. It is hard to figure out how things work in relationships and every relationship is different with people who have all different kinds of past experiences with their family. Do you think past experiences would have an affect on how parents handle fights or how kids react to them? What if they kid is responsible for their parents fighting? As far as I’m concerned, parents should take their fights somewhere else in order for the family to keep a safe and happy environment for their kids.
Sources:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/30/family-fights-new-study-children_n_6220090.html?ref=topbar
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/10510979709368491
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/hcre.12049/full
https://www.care.com/a/fighting-in-front-of-your-kids-and-why-you-need-to-stop-1011221507
Book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Authors: Travis Bradberry and Jena Greaves, 2009