The symbols in my mandala are each related to the natural world. As I attempted to define symbolic elements in my life, I found that nature could depict both an outward and inward reflection of one’s self. The focal point or center of the mandala is a compass to represent the instrument used for navigation and also a moral compass that I always use to guide me in making decisions. The golden ratio and jewel represent the balance and beauty found everywhere in nature that inspire me and influence my perception of the world. The waves demonstrate the consistent motion in my life that can bring new ideas or tasks into focus while other times it can wash them away. The feather illustrates the importance of animals in the natural world as they structure and support our ecosystems and act as our companions. The flower and mountains highlight the importance of emphasizing the small elements of nature that can be overlooked when only focusing on those that are easily seen. Finally, the branches symbolize the interconnectedness of life and nature and how our beginnings can influence who we become.

My mandala is a literal and mostly symbolic representation of who I perceive myself to be, known and unknown. The outermost area of my mandala represents the infinite hands that affect me and my being. Whether those are the cosmic hands of the universe or those closest to me. As my mandala approaches the center, you encounter the four main cornerstones of my character, the ways that people would describe me. A Purple carnation for spontaneity, a scribble ball for my anxiousness, a pair of masks for my flair for the dramatic/the arts, and an Irish Claddagh for my heritage, along with the love and loyalty I have for my friends and family. Within those four corners lie the ever-changing and evolving tides of my inner self, represented by the ocean. But reversely, that same ring serves as the sun. As the sun is the center of the universe, everything past this ring represents what signifies the center of my universe. Which is my religion (cross), my thirst for knowledge (book), my love for music (headphones), the role that love plays in my life(two locks), my hyper-awareness of time (hourglass), and my Hispanic heritage/history (polaroid photos). Holding up the forces I believe make me who I am, are 2 white figures. These figures were meant to signify all the people, ideas, and things that I have yet to name and identify as contributors to who I am. At the center is a silhouette of myself, to represent the infinite unknowns that dwell within me. Finally, there’s a black thread passing through all the layers of me, tying my individual being to the rest of the cosmos.

An expression of my identity within my history and my passions. In the center lies the Stocker family crest. Immediately adjacent to it are scenes of medieval combat and blacksmithing. I practice these arts as a way to feel connected to my ancestors in the middle ages, and felt that it was necessary to depict them as central to my identity. Above that is a depiction of myself in the role of the Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci, a man who I consider to be one of my role models. I aspire to be like him, and often times call myself a Renaissance man, since I aspire to the ideals of the time. To the left is a series of quotes which either contain instructions I live by, or are from my favorite pieces of literature. On the bottom is a scene familiar to DnD players; it is a play mat with several different polyhedrons. I chose to incorporate this because I spend much time on the weekends playing DnD with my friends, and it has served a significant role in helping me learn to socialize with people. On the right is a scene of a forest. Initially, I intended to include an outline of myself walking through it, but I did not have enough time to complete it before the deadline. I included the forest scene because I greatly enjoy being in nature; I enjoy everything from hiking to fishing to camping. Below that is  drawing of my left hand. You can see the details of the scars on the back of my hand. I felt that this would be appropriate to include because the scars on my skin serve as a reminder of the past I have lived, much like how this mandala serves as a testament to my connections to my past.

Birds of Flame speaks on the cleansing aspect of fire. Stress, guilt, and chagrin are considered the negative aspects of the self, yet it’s these same values that can fuel our ambition for growth or completely destroy us. The fire that sits below this mandala could do either. 

The brush surrounding the mandala grounds the spirit to the physical world. The dead greenery at the bottom is lite ablaze, only for the stems along the side to bloom.

Many cultures use birds for certain metaphors. At the top left and right, we see the White Eagle of Poland and the Great Seal of the United States. These two heritages make up almost my entire family as well as family tradition. Clearly, this represents me well. At the lower left and right, we see the sparrow and the dove. These represent productivity/creativity and love/peace. These virtues are manifested when I perform at my best. The very bottom is the owl, which uniquely represents foresight and doom. Notice its position amongst the flames. At the center, we see the mythical phoenix. A creature that is destroyed in a fire yet re-emerges brighter than ever from the ashes. This perfectly personifies how the human spirit adapts.

The pentagons surrounding each bird symbolize my age, 20 years old. 5 sides time 4 (which is often associated with passion in the Bible) equals 20, the first year of the rest of my life. This mandala comes with a pledge that I will always follow where my spirit leads me.

At dusk, the Mandala was set ablaze.  

My mandala is based largely after my brother, who passed away in April of 2019. Though it seems counter-intuitive that I based a mandala after him instead of solely myself, however after deep reflection I came to the conclusion that making one after him was the same as making one after myself, as he is as much a part of me as any other vein or organ in my body. 

The center of the mandala is a red rose, which is the birth flower for the month of June, the same month that his birthday resides. On the outskirts are waxing crescent moons, which was the phase of the moon on the night that he died (April 10, 2019). Next to those moons are dripping hearts, which I wanted to symbolize as my collective grief that followed his death. I wanted to use a bleeding heart to show the prolonged pain his death caused, and how it would always remain with me. Moving inwards in the mandala, I chose to use an interwoven swirl under the hearts, to show an almost DNA-like motif. As siblings, we shared a special bond, not only from personal family ties but ties that went down all the way to the DNA we shared. 

Overall, I wanted to show how big of a part of me my brother was and still is. This mandala is as much him as it is me, showcasing the deep rooted bond and connection we shared. My relationship with him and his death made me who I am, and it shaped a huge part of me, which is the reason why my mandala is the way it is. 

“Layers of Hope” represents a lot of my hopes for the future, but also shows my gratitude and emotions of the past and present. In the very center is a diamond shape made out of the stem of carnations. The stem symbolizes me, being a root in the very middle. The carnation flowers in general mean growth. I have grown in so many ways as my own individual and want to continue to do so. That first layer of light pink carnations in the center symbolize gratitude. It is so important to take a step back and appreciate the people in your life, the opportunities you have been given, and so much more. The ring around these carnations include symbols that represent parts of myself. The letters J, W, and S appear twice. They are indicative of some of the most important, supportive, and influential people in my life: my mother, Jane, my father, William, and my sister, Sophia. There is a paw print, representative of the love I have for animals, especially my dogs. A music note symbolizes my passion for music and playing the violin. An Eiffel Tower and wave are drawn to show my goal to travel the world in the future. Going to Paris, France has been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember. On the left there is also a glyph, the M with a loop in the right corner, symbolizing my zodiac sign, a virgo. The last drawing in the ring is a gavel. This represents my goal of becoming a lawyer. The second layer of light orange carnations mean happiness and balance. One of my favorite positive sayings is that “there are so many beautiful reasons to be happy.” When I look at this layer, I am reminded of that. Finally, the outer red layer of carnations symbolize love. 

Named after Yggdrasil, ‘The Self Tree’ is a visual representation of worldly connections to the self. The upper half is symbolic of the now, a growing influential aspect of life that is both capable of nourishment and assistance. The example of nourishment is the tree providing an apple to the child; examples of assistance are the man watering the tree (social) and the clouds providing water (environmental). The lower half of the mandala illustrates ancestors creating the roots, showcasing the paths made to get to the now. Both halves are met by an eye, which represents one’s experiences, vision, and understanding.

I chose to have my mandala in the shape of a square rather than the usual circle, because for a long time, I felt pressure to not think outside the box or stray from the norm. I think that this is perhaps a sentiment that most of us have felt at some point, so I felt that it was more fitting for this self-portrait to be inside a “box”. The outermost square represents my cultural identity. For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled to define my culture. I have spent roughly half my life in India, and the other half in the US, so I have been learning to accept my cultural hybridity. I have included such things as the national flowers of both countries, and their flags. There is also a nod to my family in that there are five flowers, which is the number of members in my family. I included a grey section with arrows to show how I’ve uprooted my life to move back and forth between India and the US four times. The second square represents my passions and goals, such as writing, enlightenment/education, mental health awareness, feminism, LGBT pride, mindfulness, growth, and so on. Once again, the three flowers are a nod to me and my two best friends, as it is all three of our favorite flower, and a nickname of sorts that we call each other. The third square represents my values, which include kindness, tranquility, courage, stability, and honesty. Both the second and the third squares feature squiggly lines whereas the the outermost one has straight lines to show this sense of definition and rigidity. The squiggly lines signify a gradual diminishment of specificity as you move towards the center. The innermost black square represents the core/essence of who I am, which is a mystery and seems to go on and on. I associated the idea of the inner self with a dark tunnel because you do not know where it starts and where it ends. The color black is also used to show how scary it can be to ponder on this idea of never fully knowing who I am, and the possibility that everything I know about myself could be completely false because oftentimes the “me” that I see is not the “me” that other people see.

“My Shapes of Shakti” is a visual representation of the symbols that embody my place in the universe. Shakti directly translates to power and energy in English. The entire Brahman is composed of energy and the same energy can be found within me. This mandala is a combination of symbols that visually allow me to recognize those energies and define my true self. Please note that I decorated the symbols in the various rings with traditional Indian designs to pay tribute to my Indian origin. I began with the most powerful symbol in the center, a bindi. This is the red dot that Hindus wear between their eyebrows. It represents an opening to the third eye which is the most powerful chakra within our bodies. I used the bindi as it is typically worn by Hindu women to recognize and harness the powerful energies within to unite with the universe. I used kumkum powder mixed with acrylic paint in order to achieve a bold, red hue and to symbolize my Indian culture in this 2-dimensional art-work. The second ring embodies an image of a fish. I included this image to represent the energies that define my physical body. Being born in the middle of March, my zodiac sign is Pisces. When I think of a lotus, I think of purity and how the petals of the beautiful flower are made of such a material that water and dirt simply glide right off. It is this purity that I remind myself to emulate with pure thoughts, pure actions, and pure karmas. Moreover, knowing my own nature, I could never intentionally hurt someone for the sake of hurting them. It is this purity of myself that I take pride in. I used a sun because ever since I began praying to Surya (the sun god), I feel a strong power that radiates from deep within that has granted me immense strength to face my inner demons. The leaves represent my contribution to the environment as a vegetarian, animal activist, and nature lover. The more time I spend in nature, around animals, and eating clean food, I feel more connected with myself and the universe. Finally, in order to represent my place in the cosmos, I used the ocean to represent the energies of the universe. A drop of water from the ocean is still part of the ocean but with the sea, it merges into one big mass. Similarly, I am insignificant compared to the universe, yet the entire universe can be found within me.