This week our topic is about that friend that you aren’t sure if they have a crush on you or not. As you know by now, these blogs should be taken lightly, and the stories told are from my friends or me, and their names are modified.

 Anyway, this situation usually is awkward, because you love them, but only as a friend. They tend to over analyze the platonic relationship that you two have had. Things begin to get rocky as their feelings progress, and this really sucks for the person who is not feeling the vibe. How are you supposed to tell them you’re not into them? The process is really hard, and sometimes it is just the person who has the feelings that needs to come to terms with the truth. Now, this usually takes time…let’s break down the different real-life scenarios.

1. My best guy friend has a crush on me, but I have a boyfriend…who is his best friend. – This one is rocky, but this is the case with my best friend. We will call her Brenda, and the guy friend’s name will be Jack. So, Brenda and Jack have been friends all through high-school. Here’s the deal: Jack is one of those guys who is never single. He is constantly talking to Brenda about his girlfriend issues, and here is the real kicker: he usually cheats on them. Fast-forward to Brenda dating his best friend. Basically, Jack did everything in his power to break them up, and he eventually succeeded. He made up a lie that her boyfriend cheated on her his first week at college. In reality this was all a lie. Jack played both sides: he told his best friend that Brenda was flirting with all these guys school too. Jacks jealousy ultimately ended Brendas relationship, and she said to me “they [guy best friend] will tell you everything about their current relationship and make you feel bad for them when they are doing it to themselves.” Yikes! As I am sure you guessed, they are no longer friends. Here is a perfect example where he should’ve just realized he was doing too much, and backed off.
2. I didn’t know she liked me when we became “friends” – So my friend Amber liked our friend Tyler. They became friends first, but she liked him from the start. Amber is a very upfront person in general so she decided to tell Tyler off the bat that she liked him. It was later admitted that she always saw him more as a boyfriend than a friend. Tyler told me this made him feel rather uncomfortable since he felt this was just another platonic relationship. Despite this, he felt flattered, but he felt bad because he knew he didn’t click romantically with her. This was a few years ago, but this is an example of when to acknowledge that this just won’t workout. Amber realized that she didn’t want her feelings to ruin the friendship they had already built. She now is in a loving relationship of 2 years with someone else, and she is still close friends with Tyler.
3. I straight up told my friend I didn’t like him…I felt horrible though- This one is just awkward…but anyway, my friend Tia had as guy friend all throughout high school named Jake. Jake had the biggest crush on Tia, and it became very apparent, very quickly. Tia admits that she was flattered at first because she loved the attention she got, but then she started to feel bad about it. Jake was bold and brave which certainly did not stop him from making things awkward when Tia was around a boy she actually liked.  He would act out in ways that would make Tia feel bad for not liking him, and by being around guys she did like.  Tia tells me this went on for about three years or so, and then she got tired of it because Jake was starting to ruin good things for her. She went up to Jake and told him straight up that it was never going to happen and that he should just give up. Talk about ripping the band-aid off…When I asked her to tell me this story for this blog, she said, “I felt bad for hurting him in a way by not liking him back and being so direct about it, but that’s just the way it had to go.” This is the quick and heartless approach, but maybe if they won’t stop this is just what has to be done.

I hoped you gained ways to go about this sticky and awkward situation. Sometimes it sucks, because you do not want to ruin a friendship, because someone thought of it as more. Other times, the damage and truth has to come out to prevent the awkward tension or feelings. If you happen to be on the opposite end, and feel that you have a crush on one of your friends, definitely feel the situation out. These stories didn’t workout in the end, but in a way one of them did, in which Amber was able to remove herself. When you like a friend, you have to make sure to think about whether or not they feel comfortable, because a friendship break up is always worse than a real one.

Again, all these stories are real, and my friends names are modified.

Look out for the friend who may or may not like you on campus…

-N