Disorders: created by me.

I am familiar with psychological disorders all to well as I was at one point diagnosed with a Depressive Disorder and Bipolar when I was 14, and a warning of schizophrenia for later. I never took medication and briefly did therapy until I ultimately decided enough was enough and here I am now, fully functional and such. However I wonder how life would be if I or anyone else was never told of these “disorders”. I mean by this that if someone never told me I was “depressed” would I jump to that conclusion every time I’m sad or disinterested? Does knowing there is something wrong make excuses easier and “not our fault”? The growing amount of people diagnosed with disorders makes me believe its something in our minds- overly diagnosed. Now yes there are many people who truly have a disorder but is it fair to lump every disinterested or sad or mood swinging person into a group? If you’re told there is something wrong with you mentally, you can’t change it, chances are you just developed a
“get out of jail free card” with every decision or action you make. I’ve done it with depression and Bipolar when in reality I believe I have neither, but it makes a hell of a case and you get away with much more. I cant help but to think one day someone will diagnose me with schizophrenia, as my uncle has, and with learning about it in class I can see how some of my actions may lean towards it. Or, is it because I learned of the actions, and of schizophrenia that I think I will develop it whereas if I never heard of it, the thoughts, the behaviors, the anything would still be “normal”, I would be normal.

My point is, there are real disorders and then I believe there is the ability to create a disorder through knowledge of it- its real, you actually feel and are those things but I think we cant trick ourselves into it- or trick a psychiatrist into thinking it with all the information out there available to ourselves. I convinced numerous doctors that I had Bipolar and if that were the case, I would not be functioning at this time. I know for a fact I fed them false information to freak out my parents, to gain an “excuse” for an action I had done. It wasn’t real. But anytime my mood swings and I’m probably just being a B*@$# I blame Bipolar. I use it as an excuse where as I know very well I created it with my own mind and caused everyone around to believe.

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