“Do as I say, not as I do.” Quite a contradictory statement, isn’t it? In grade school, my best friend’s mother always used to use this phrase. If my friend, Maeve, would say a bad word or do something wrong, she would say, “But mommy, you do it!” and her mother’s response would always be that silly quote. Therefore, Maeve never learned that the behaviors were bad, because although her mom told her not to do or say bad things, watching her mother do it made it seem okay.
A reason that this phrase is not a credible way to teach children between wrong and right is because of Albert Bandura‘s theory of observational learning. Observational learning refers to the process of watching and imitating others. It is a form of learning indirectly, and is especially strong for children, who cannot yet distinguish between wrong and right. It is one of the strongest influencers on children’s behavior, because they like to replicate individuals whom they admire, like their parents and older siblings.
A famous study that illustrates this effect is Bandura’s Bobo Doll Experiment. In this study, children ranging in age from three to six years old were separated into groups. One group watched adults be violent with toys, specifically a Bobo doll. The second group watched adults act non-violently towards the toys. A third group watched nothing. Overall, the children who were exposed to violent adults were also violent towards the toys, especially the Bobo doll, which they hit and kicked almost exactly the same way as the adults they watched did. This study is just one of many proofs of how strong observational learning can be.
Because of researchers like Bandura, people have become more aware of how detrimentally or positively their actions can influence people. Although most research in this field primarily relates to children, observational learning can affect teenagers and even adults. Never underestimate how your actions can affect other people, and never use the excuse to “do as I say, not as I do.”
Sources
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/bandura.html
http://psychology.about.com/od/oindex/fl/What-Is-Observational-Learning.htm
Haley Hendel