Confidence comes in many forms. It can apply to how you look, how you act, what you do, and what you say, but it is difficult to be confident in all aspects of your life all at once. I have talked about ways to be confident in social situations with power posing and I have talked about ways to feel more confident in how you look with the Post-its. But, I have yet to address one insecurity that is heavily felt in college: the feeling that you can’t do anything right. College is a stressful time and we are all working to do our best, but it is easy to feel like you aren’t good enough. Maybe you slept on a paper or didn’t study enough for a test. Each thing that we perceive as a failure is ammo that we use against ourselves. It has always amazed me how one number, one grade can affect the way I see myself. Well, this week, I underperformed on a test. My immediate response was to attack my intelligence and my ability to “do something right.” I lost my confidence in my intelligence.
My original plan for this week was to do positive affirmations, but after the test grade I decided to change it. So, I was not able to complete the task for a full week, but I got in a good four days. This “week” I focused on the little things. Everyday I made a goal for myself that was attainable within the day. I needed to reaffirm myself that I was capable of completing tasks efficiently, I could do a lot of things right. I recommend writing your goals down either on a piece of paper that you can see on your desk or continuing to use post-it notes. If you would prefer to put the goals on your phone you could use notes or you could download an app on your phone. Some examples of goals I made for myself were: do your laundry, read one chapter by 5pm, or keep your desk clean for a day. Focus on the little things that you know are productive and attainable. Don’t make goals that are too far out of
your reach.
During this process I began to feel more confident. By building up from the little things, I was able to feel more confident in my ability to perform. I took little steps when completing my homework, and found that it helped to reduce my stress. By setting goals for yourself you are assuring yourself that you can depend on yourself. The little things add up. You have to focus on the positive things that you have done and accomplished when you are looking at what you feel you have failed to do. I am not saying to only think positively, that is unrealistic. However, I encourage everyone to think of one thing they have “done right” when they look at something they feel they have “done wrong” because there is no reason to punish yourself. Additionally, setting goals helps with personal development. So, I would highly encourage that if you are looking to maintain confidence long term to set a few goals for this semester. They do not need to be academic. They could be about personal health or emotional health. There are so many ways to get down on yourself, but focus on the little things to build you back up.
I loved this post! If I don’t do as well on a test as I would have, I always put myself down. That one minor inconvenience could ruin my entire day. I do similarly to what you described and I complete little tasks. Having the feeling of accomplishment makes me feel so much better. It is hard to not let a bad grade get to you, but how you deal with it matters even more.
A lot of times I undermine my intelligence and how I should be proud of where I am instead. However, I have a bad case of impostor syndrome that makes it harder to be proud of what I have done so far. Even then, I make sure to reaffirm that I am here this far because of my intelligence and only myself, not because of anyone else. What I do to make sure that I am not in an endless cauldron of self doubt is that I make sure to also set a checklist and do a little bit of my homework and other things each day. Even when I am not done with what I was supposed to do, instead of being self-critical, I make sure to tell myself that I should be proud of myself and that there is a new day coming to finish my work and tell myself to stop stressing. It helps me a lot in these terms.
It’s easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of college life. In a smaller environment, such as high school, we might’ve felt more in control of things. We had parents to help us, an established circle of friends we saw every day, and easier classes. However, high school was also more restrictive, and when those restrictions fell away, we can feel more lost than ever. I think the little things are a great way for us to keep focused; they are like breadcrumbs that show us the way back if we get lost under the mounting pressure of college. When I do bad on a test, I’m you. I start doubting myself, and find myself frequently asking the question of “am I good enough?” I think one of the biggest skills that we can learn is how to pick ourselves up when we fall, and college is the place many of us start learning just exactly how to accomplish that.
This article is so relatable. Being in college is hard, especially as a freshman. I think that your method of making small goals is something that could help a lot of students at Penn State, including myself. Next time I don’t perform well on an exam or essay grade I will try to be a little kinder to myself instead of thinking that I do everything wrong here. Setting small goals will help me do a lot of small things right. Thank you for sharing! 🙂