In the modern world today, there are many children and teens that turn up missing. Worse, they turn up dead. I am a mother of a 7 year old and a 4 year old, both girls, and this is something that is a constant worry of mine as they grow everyday. If anything happened to my daughters, it would kill me. One of the biggest blames for their abductions and murders would be the internet. There is also, of course, the cyberbullying and the fact that it would be easy to ruin your reputation. “It is time to have the talk with your children”, says a counselor of a Lowder Group in Greenville who went by the name of Karen Heaps. The fact that the frontal lobe of the people are not fully developed until they are in the beginning of 20s, it is up to the parents to provide our children with the information they would need to know in order to handle this sort of situation correctly.
According to our text book, the frontal lobe is receives all the signals from all the senses in your body and plays an important role in your perceptions that involve the coordination of information received through two or more senses. It is the part of the brain that regulates decision making, problem solving, control of purposeful behaviors, consciousness, and emotions according to the National Institutes of Health. With this in mind, we could understand Heaps’ concern with the children and technology. Children, in their growing years, go through a sort of a rollercoaster of emotions and are constantly changing mentally, physically, and emotionally. With the technology within reach and how skilled they are with computers, even the sky isn’t the limit. It can be a wonderful thing but it can also be a terrible, dangerous thing. It is up to us, the parents, to guide them in the right path.
As the statistics shows, up to 43% of the children using the internet have been bullied on the internet and only 1 in 10 of them would report it to their parents or trusted ones. What’s worse is the fact that these bullied victims are between two to nine times more likely to consider committing suicide. And as Heaps explained, the frontal lobe where is where we visualize the consequences, make plans, keep track of time, and learn from the past; these children wouldn’t be making the best decision for themselves or others without knowing all the right information they would need for a situation like this. With the frontal lobe not fully developed, they may act on any impulses including attempting suicide.
Also according to the statistics, ninety-three percent of the children now uses the internet and there are predators or pedophiles that actively seek for children to meet them somewhere. A little over a quarter of these children online will be asked to send a nude photograph of themselves and/or perform sexual activities via webcams. And one out of twenty-five will be asked to make an offline contact. Again, with the frontal lobe not being fully developed until the twenties and without being taught on how to correctly handle these situations; the statistics are expected to stay as is or worsen over the years unless we, as the parents, take precautions with our children.
Overall, a lot of things depend on our frontal lobe and it plays a huge role in the decisions we make on a daily basis. Children and teenagers aren’t old enough, especially due to the fact that their frontal lobe still isn’t fully developed, to make the decisions where their life would depend on. That is our cue for the parents to step in and show the right way of handling these sorts of situations. Have the “talk” with your children and do what you can to save them from harm’s way.
Sources:
http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20140210/NEWS/302100026/Parents-urged-speak-kids-about-dangers-social-media
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-cyber-bullying
http://www.netsmartz.org/Safety/Statistics
Goldstein, B. (2011). Cognitive Psychology: Connecting Mind, Research and Everyday Experience, 3rd Edition. Wadsworth, Inc.
http://science.education.nih.gov/supplements/nih2/addiction/default.htm
Reading this blog brought up to my mind two recent stories in the paper. Adults in the community were trying to solicit children through the internet, and the article discussed the dangers of the internet and how it progressively gets worse through the years as more people gain access. I feel that the internet has always been an unsafe place from the beginning, but as time progresses and people become more aware of what is available to them, they use it as they please, sometimes in this disturbing way.
People should be aware of the dangers of the internet as soon as they begin to use it. Whether it is a 10 year old child, or a 40 year old adult, they need to be educated that there is a possibility that people will try to be available to them in an unsafe manner. As far as children are concerned, I do believe that they will not have an easy time interpreting what may be “dangerous”, and they may always not realize how they can be dangerous to others. They may engage in conversation and share information without understanding the repercussions of it, and therefore need to monitored. While studies have been done that state that the frontal lobe of the brain for a child is not fully developed until the mid 20’s, even an individual with a developed brain could encounter a situation and not realize the gravity of it.
The article specifically talks about bullying. In this situation, the child may not realize the gravity of their actions, not the other way around. They may have a lasting effect on another and be unaware. Parents absolutely need to discuss how hurtful certain actions or situations can be, and determine a safe and effective way to communicate with others. This last of education can lead to a lot of confusion and hurt that can ultimately cause lasting change in their lives or others.
I think most adults, as the replies to your initial blog would agree that children do not have the cognitive ability to understand exactly what goes on in social media. Or even if they understand the concepts, it is like you said, their brain is not fully developed to comprehend the severity of some of their actions. I will say (and probably not to some people’s likings) that almost everything under the sun now days is considered bullying. I would really be interested in learning if this ‘sensitivity’ in more recent generations is in fact a growing trend, or if it was there in previous generations as well but not discussed. Even more so I would love to see frontal lobe comparisons of children who are victims of bullying in comparison to how each victim handles their bullying. Is there a common pattern in frontal lobe development of children who are more prone to become victims of buying, abduction, and or murder? It leaves a rather compelling argument on whether this issue the result of nature or nurture. Are these children genetically lacking in frontal lobe development compared to their peers? Or is their environment and those in it playing a part?
Hi Maria,
After reading your blog and thinking about it carefully I have concluded that you are indeed correct in your accusations of the internet and “the talk”. I fully understand that every one has their own opinion and that is all fine and what not, but in MY opinion I must share with you some of my thoughts. I am not a father.. nor a mother.. nor a caregiver of any sort, so to say i understand your level of concern would be a lie. I am however a 22 year old male who’s frontal lobe according to your blog “are not fully developed until they are in the beginning of 20s”, so i may or may not have the “mind” to appropriately address you. However, growing up in this age of technology and science i must agree with you that in fact the internet is a very scary and unsafe place for children to wonder. Still, there is a responsibility of protection that must be implemented by the parents or guardians, protecting their children from which they do not wish them to see. This could be child blocks, site restrictions and computer restrictions ie, webcams. It is the parents and solely the parents responsibility to protect their children from these sites no matter the coast.
However, children must learn from their mistakes and that is what develops them and makes them stronger. Parents need be careful with their children no matter the circumstance, but them must also let them find their own way, wether this be being picked on in school and losing a friend, or learning how to cope with bullies. Nevertheless, life is a scary place and we must all learn from the past wether we want to or not.
HI Maria, I really enjoyed reading this post. I found it particularly interesting. I once went to a museum showing of what the body looks like inside out. It was amazing and I was able to learn the exact same things you have mentioned here. In particular about how the frontal lobe isn’t fully developed in until early to mid twenties. I had never known this fact until the museum visit and in fact until your post I haven’t thought too much about it. I feel that it is very important to educate children about the importance of being aware of predators and bad things lurking in this technologically advanced world. When dealing with the frontal lobe and according to my recent readings, I have found that it deals with “perceptions that involve coordination of information through 2 or more senses” (Goldstein). I believe that if we could teach our children in a way that was memorable to them, they would be able to perceive the things we were trying to tell them in a much clearer way. What I mean is that if we could think of a way to stress the importance of how dangerous inappropriate online activity is and give them examples and scenarios it might make for a better way for children to perceive what we are trying to teach them. For example, once we have the “talk” with our children we could also give some examples of what a potential predator may try to get them to do without being too explicit. I feel that when it comes to the safety of our children nothing is too taboo., because in the end we all would rather be safe than sorry. There are a lot of devious people in the world and education about these types of people is essential in the world we live in today. Overall I enjoyed reading you post and the title was very catchy. Thanks for sharing!
Maria,
I appreciate your thoughts and think you make some very valid points in regards to the dangers of children accessing the internet. However, I feel that it would have been more appropriate to stress even more the fact that it is the parent’s responsibility to monitor their children’s usage. In the first paragraph you state “One of the biggest blames for their abductions and murders would be the internet” I grossly disagree with this statement. In my opinion, many parents are too willing to pass off the blame for their absentee parenting styles on media and teachers. It all starts at home. Parents need to be completely aware of their children’s actions and behaviors. Really, it’s more important to watch your child’s behaviors than just listen to what they say because, as we’ve learned, our behaviors are a manifestation of our thought processes.
I understand that you mentioned the importance of conscientious parenting but I feel that your post should have put even more emphasis on the importance of the role of parents.
When we hired a contractor to build our home, we decided upon a gentleman that to most would seem to be a simple country redneck. However, this simple man was well educated and very talented in his field. He chose to remain common in his appearance and his personal life for a very good reason. He felt that to lead his life in a simplistic manner allowed him the freedom to create and build without too many distractions that he deemed to be unimportant.
Our contractor brought his dog to the build site one day. Amazingly, this young puppy sat by his side while the contractor spent hours pouring over plans, followed his every move throughout the site and obeyed the contractors commands happily. I was curious as to what the contractor had done to develop this animals maturity and intelligence so early in his development. Was this animal just naturally intelligent? Did the puppy possess higher mental qualities?
The contractors reply to my question was very simple and to the point, “if you wish to develop an intelligence in others, the best way to accomplish this is to give them constant attention, affection, and education.” I found this answer to be as simple as the gentleman who had given it and as complexly true. If society abiding by this simple rule perhaps our children would develop a sense of awareness much earlier in life.
I realize that this is not necessarily a realistic aspect to expect adults to understand the major impact such a simple way of life could affect their children’s future, but, educating the public so that the protection and development of our children could progress at a normal rate would be most welcome.
I couldn’t agree with you more. As a special education teaching assistant, I work with students in sixth through eighth grade. I see, on a daily basis, the effects of the Age of Social Media on our children. Bullying has been taken to a whole new level. Unfortunately, we as adults can do very little to intervene if we can’t see it happening. That is why it is imperative to educate not only our children, but our teachers and parents on the dangers of social media and the internet in general.
Over the last few years, my school district has implemented a district-wide bullying policy that for the first time makes specific references to cyber-bullying. It is something we talk about with our students a lot. The policy is clearly posted in every classroom and office throughout the district. Our guidance department, technology department, and student resource officers work together to give assemblies and presentations several times throughout the year to both students, teachers, and parents on the dangers of bullying and the internet. We have even put into action an anonymous referral system for students or others to report bullying that is happening to them or others. This system can be accessed electronically through our school website or by putting a referral in one of several “bully-boxes” located throughout our school buildings. The problem with cyber-bullying is that unless it is reported to a school official there is nothing that can be done about it in school. We can only try to educate our students and make them feel as comfortable and safe as possible.
Anti-Bullying Policy:
http://www.npsd.org/images/stories/boarddocs/policies/250.pdf
Anonymous Referral:
http://www.npsd.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=470
Hey Maria,
I agree with you on a lot issues you touched on in this post. Children should be monitored on the computers and televisions. Our frontal lobe is so sensitive at a young age and is so impressionable. Children will believe literally anything they see or hear. It’s parents like you that keep them out of danger. But, in your first paragraph, you talk about children being abducted or kidnapped and you attribute the cause of that to the internet and the use of their frontal. Now I see how this could possibly play a part, with the technology aspect; but, I think it largely has to do with the mentally unstable individuals living in this world. Children could just as easily be kidnapped from a mall in public, with no technology, than online with technology. Children need to be protected in all aspects of their lives; in their home, on the computer, and out in public. Great job with the post!
Have the “talk” with your children
Hey there Maria,
After reading your post I started to worry because I have a 5 year old boy and a 4 year old girl and in todays age even big brothers cant help their little sisters. I started to worry because my children are already wanting to play with the ipod and iphone. It is only a matter of time before they starting using the internet on the home computer. Honestly, this topic did not even cross my mind once and now I am really worried.
Due to the frontal lobe not being fully developed until after our children are out of their teens, we are the ones who have to make the decision to give our children this information and help them to make safe decisions. Decision making is very complex and it may take a child until after they have made a decision to actually analyze what they are deciding.
After reading an article on Teenage frontal lobes I found that teenagers due in fact have a frontal lobe and can use it but at a slower pace than adults. They do not have much myelin in this area making it harder for nerves to receive signals. This makes decision making slower and their problem solving slower. Teenagers are at risks of a making many decisions they regret and it is our job as parents to make sure our children are educated in many areas especially the internet (Knox, 2010).
Source
Knox, R. (2010, March 01). The teen brain: Its just not grown up yet. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124119468
Hi Maria,
During my last semester at Penn State, I talked about the topic of having conversations with our children. Those conversations can include any topic, and I do mean any topic – from human sexuality to governmental issues concerning laws and everything in between.
The best way to think of an adolescence brain is to consider it a sponge. Piaget and Erikson’s stages can demonstrate how and what we are doing with our frontal lobes as we “mature”. We are constantly looking for input and understanding.
However, in my research, I found that the most detrimental effect on a child was the institute to which they belong. Institute, a sociological term – family, religion, education, and law would be examples of the concept.
While I do agree with Heaps’ concept of talking to a child. I severely doubt her detachment between science and her personal beliefs. According to her personal bio posted on the Lowder Group website. She believes in a spiritual approach. Psychology is a science, not a religion. To understand the science and view the data impartially, you cannot use an institute bias to guide you. You can view the misconceptions regarding Psychology to understand this idea further.
As to your comment about the 93% of children are using the internet, and there are predators actively seeking them out. First the number is actually false. The world wide web, is not just accessible in the USA. You can view information via the University of Oregon for more data – http://library.uoregon.edu/govdocs/stats-computer.html . You will find that the number is actually lower in the US. In 2012, only 74.8% of the USA population had internet access – http://www.census.gov/hhes/computer/files/2012/Computer_Use_Infographic_FINAL.pdf.
The greatest user count of adults was 88.1% of 25-34 years of age. Children 3 to 17 years old were only 62%. Again, this from the 2012 report http://www.census.gov/hhes/computer/publications/2012.html.
As for predators, yes they are out there. However, a child has a greater chance of being harmed by an individual they personally know.
As you can see in the 2013 US. government report 51% of reported cases of mistreatment of a child was done by the biological father. http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/05/child-maltreat/report-text.htm#Findings
Here is a 256 page 2013 report, that shows maltreatment of children. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm2012.pdf#page=54
Basically, a child is more in danger from someone they know. Nevertheless, I will not discount the dangers on internet use. However, if a parent is honest and upfront and they have been from the beginning. A child should be taught to consider the internet in the same way they are taught about an oven. It is a tool, but does contain dangerous components.
Parents by means of their institute and by being an institute can cause a child to unwittingly fall prey to any number of dangerous situations. They can also cause their child to be a “bully”, by the same factors.
It isn’t enough to just have a conversation, a parent would have to be non-ethnocentric, to have the correct conversation. Unfortunately, that will not happen. If a parent’s culture (values and beliefs) are one way, they will indoctrinate the child to the same culture. Which is a great recipe for conflict and the birth of bullies. The bully effect can happen both ways for any social topic. Have you ever said or thought that a piece of clothing looked bad on someone? You placed your own values of appearance on someone else. In that moment, you were a bully.
Is there hope? Yes, we would need a paradigm shift in our culture to do it. Parents would need to be able to hold any conversation, and allow the child access to all information. Parents would have to take responsibility for the internet use of their child, by means of proper instruction and understanding that any IP address can be blocked should a problem occur. Parents would fundamentally have to stop being turn key parents. Parents would have to seek information from the correct sources (Cosmo, Parenthood, and most news periodicals only contain less then 5% true science in their articles). Yes, correlations make create headlines, but are severely lacking in causation. However, only scientific journeys contain true science reports (the complete story of the study).
If a parent wants to protect their child 100%, they will find they cannot. However, they can at least give them the real tools on how the world works. To use an old study, parents should never use “stranger” in connection with a predator. They should use “some people, and it could be anyone” in connection to describing a predator. That simple change opens up their minds to understand that they need to be careful and aware when dealing with anyone.
As you can see, the institute of family is the greatest cause of what a child will do and how they will respond to a situation. After family, you have religion and school adding in their two cents. From there we enter the world of peers. Basically a wealth of confusion for any child. A parents job is to supply real tools for navigating the world. However, can parents do it in a way that is based in relativism?
It would be impossible for a relativistic child to be a bully. In addition, it might save a child’s life to know that fundamental attribution error can cause them harm. Yes, have the conversation. However, have a real conversation.