A compliment. It can make your day or make someone else’s day. They are positive and spontaneous. They come from a place of kindness, and yet we struggle to accept them. We find a way to discredit the compliment. We think “they are just saying that to be nice” or  “nope, that’s not me.” Modesty is a wonderful attribute, but there is a difference between modesty and self-deprecation. Self-deprecation is just a fancy way of saying that we bring ourselves down. I have been a victim to that. Someone compliments my eyes or my smile and I say “no it must just be the lighting.” So, why do we downplay our strengths to such a major degree? Why do we feel like we don’t deserve the compliment? Researchers believe it is the imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is defined as a continuous of feelings of inadequacy even when there is apparent success. Basically, imposter syndrome is when you feel like you aren’t enough, when you are a failure. This commonly comes into play once one enters college. It makes sense, you are in a new environment surrounded by strangers working to prove yourself and find yourself. So, feelings of inadequacy are valid. However, imposter syndrome takes a toll on our self-image and confidence. And everyone deserves to feel confident in themselves.

The first step is to stop saying “no.” When someone gives you a compliment don’t let your first thought be “no.” They are saying it for a reason. They see something in you that you can’t see. One of my favorite quotes is one a friend gave me that reads “butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how beautiful they

are, but everyone else can. Humans are like that too. You are beautiful.” You are beautiful even when you don’t see it. You are smart even when you don’t see it. You are funny, creative, and kind even when you don’t see it. So, the next time that someone tries to show you the colors of your wings, let them. The next step is to stop the internal hate talk. Do not discredit yourself. Take the steps to slow your thoughts down, take a breath, and step back from the negative snowball running through your mind. Compliments are rare, so you can’t let them pass you by. The final step is just to smile and say “thank you.” Accept the compliment because you deserve it.

I hope you are able to move forward from this blog post and give someone a compliment. Brighten their day and show them some love. But, don’t forget that when you are given a compliment don’t be scared to let it brighten your day. They are not lying, you are an amazing person. Just say “thank you.”