Marci Free

Professor Romano

Psych 256

March 8, 2014

Recollecting Memories

            March 5, 2014, our family welcomed into the world our newest little addition, my nephew, Kade. We have been anxiously awaiting his arrival; we went to meet him for the first time that evening. Meeting him for the first time, seeing the ways Kade resembles my brother brought back many memories, as I was 9 years old when my brother was born, I remember hold him for the first time too.  As the days go by and the swelling from birth goes down we are seeing more of Kade’s true physical characteristics. Yesterday he was finally able to open his eyes; they truly are my brother’s eyes. While at the hospital discussing matters of the birth, my brother brought up what was going on when he was born.

In the previous months before Kade’s birth my brother has been going through this retrieval process of what our dad was like. He wants to be a different kind of dad than our dad was, this also brought out suppressed anger that had been stuffed for many, many years. This kind of a retrieval cue stemmed a flood of emotion for my brother. (Cherry, 2014) In the hospital my brother commented on how my dad was at the hospital when he was born, our dad was super excited that he was a boy especially after having 3 girls already. After everything was stable my dad left and went out to get drunk, he came back later very intoxicated. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt, but also as we sat there in the hospital experiencing the joy of Kade it is hard to believe anyone would want to miss out on any of this!

As I was recalling the memories, it was almost like a fill in the blanks as I was not at the hospital or with my dad when my parents had my brother, we stayed with my grandma. Yet it also triggered the recall of memories of when I had my son. My parents had just completed a very nasty divorce therefore; my dad did not come to the hospital to see my son. It wasn’t until later that night that I recollected the memory that my dad did come to my house the day my son and I came home from the hospital to see us since he did not come to the hospital because he did not want to be around my mom. How fitting it was that we are studying the long-term memory this particular week. These memories have been recall cued by the birth experience with Kade. (Maskin, 2014)

It actually has brought forth memories that have been shared with me that I never knew. This week my mom also shared with my her episodic memories of how my father’s actions built a relationship with my little sister when she was little by her helping him get a bolt that he dropped in his truck and her little hands were able to get to it. Then she became his little side kick, which is all she ever really wanted. However, unfortunately when my brother was born 30 years ago, my dad dropped that relationship with my sister immediately and my brother became his buddy. As I recollect how my sister is especially with how she has been with my dad it seems as though she has spent the rest of her life trying to get that back even in unhealthy ways. My sister seems to have suppressed many of her memories, but there was a time that she was angry with my mom and told her that she ruined her life when she was seven years old. My mom eventually put this together that my sister was 7 years old when my brother was born. These memories are stored in the amygdala, usually where emotions are process and stored unconsciously. (Maskin, 2010)

Long-term memories hold many special moments close and dear to us, however there are many things that we remember that we wish we did not remember. I once read a quote that stated “People may not always remember what you did, or even what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” –Maya Angelou. (Josephson, 2013) I often find myself remembering something specific but then seem to spend the rest of the time filling in the blanks. Reflecting & recollecting on long-term memories are especially great for learning from, laughter and also for making our lives better. We choose to stay within the same realm or to strive for something better. I may not have a perfect life but through my memories of growing up and my past I strive to stop the cycle, instead of complaining, I choose to be the change I want to see in this world, one memory at a time.

Works Cited

Cherry, Kendra. “Memory Retrieval.” About.com Psychology. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Mar. 2014.

Josephson, Michael. “LEADERSHIP INSIGHT:”People Don’t Always Remember What You Say or Even What You Do, but They Always Remember How You Made Them Feel.” – Maya Angelou. How Much More Effective Would You Be If You Always Considered This Insight?” Business Ethics and Leadership RSS. N.p., 03 Mar. 2013. Web. 08 Mar. 2014.

Mastin, Luke. “Memory Encoding – Memory Processes – The Human Memory.” Memory Encoding – Memory Processes – The Human Memory. The Human Memory, 2010. Web. 08 Mar. 2014.